


Explorations into desperation

by Lolly_XX



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Coming In Pants, Diapers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Omorashi, Wetting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2020-06-23 19:11:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 43
Words: 50,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19707673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolly_XX/pseuds/Lolly_XX
Summary: The one where Sam becomes "Daddy."





	1. I'm done now Daddy.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post. I was not originally going to put any of these out into the world but I was writing them in my notes to keep them private and then I lost my phone, thus losing several of my fics. So, I thought it safer to put them here!  
> I am kink-shaming myself.  
> If you're here, enjoy this little story about omorashi and Steve, Bucky, and Sam.  
> I was inspired by Lauralot's ficverse.  
> Keep in mind these were written on my phone. Please be gentle about my structure.

Sam and Steve lay in bed with Bucky cuddled between them. They were talking softly over his body. He’d fallen into a deep sleep, exhausted from the evening’s activities. It was easy for him to fall asleep this way, Steve cuddled up behind him, his leg draped over Sam's hip. Their arms criss-crossed over his shoulder. Their nice easy conversation was interrupted by Bucky's body stiffening. His once easy breathing quickened and his body began twitching.  
"Must be another nightmare" Steve whispered, tightening his arm around Bucky.  
"Our poor boy." Sam whispered, brushing a lock of hair from Bucky’s face. BWith a sharp gasp Bucky awoke. Sam could see the whites of his eyes in the night.  
"No." Bucky whispered sullenly.  
"Do you have to go?" Steve asked, brushing his lips against Bucky's shoulder. Bucky nodded in the stillness.  
"Its okay." Sam put a hand on Bucky’s knee and pulled it toward him. "We'll take good care of you, just like we always do." The pressure made a small spurt escape into the padding. And Bucky held his breath, clenching every muscle to stop it.  
"Its okay, Buck." Steve soothed. "You can let go if it hurts." Steve moved his hand down to press on Bucky’s abdomen.  
Bucky could feel Steve pressed hard up against his ass now and with Sam pressed against his front he was trapped. Sam showed no signs of letting go of his leg and Steve relentlessly massaged his abdomen. He began to get panicky the way he always did before wetting himself. But Sam was stroking his hair with his free hand and Steve was rubbing up against him and all felt right. In his relaxed state he let a little more leak out before freezing back up.  
Sam removed his hand from Bucky’s hair and snaked it between their bodies. Slipping it inside the diaper. Bucky started really panicking now. What was he doing? He wanted to tell him to stop he didn’t want Sam to know how gross he was that intimately. His breathing quickened the way it does during a panic attack.  
"Do you remember your safeword?" Steve asked him and he nodded. "You can use it if you need to."  
"I -" he stammered. "No. I want it."  
Sam's knuckles on his bladder made another spurt leak out. At the touch of his fingers, Bucky got semi hard. Sam perked up at the thought. He smiled, kissing Bucky deeply.  
"You like that? Oh, what's this? Someone is a little wet."  
Bucky buried his face in the pillow.  
"I guess he’s having trouble letting it all out though." Sam was pointing Bucky’s penis at the front of the diaper. "Maybe we should help him."  
Steve moved his other hand to Bucky’s abdomen, locking them together into a ball. Sam removed his hand and whispered to Bucky.  
"You're such a good boy. Aw sweetheart can you let it out for us?"  
Sam was excited by the thought of feeling Bucky’s warmth expanding the padding against his own groin. Usually it was Steve who got that.  
Steve now tightened around Bucky, thrusting against him slowly. The motion caused Bucky to rub ever so slightly against Sam who moaned a little.  
"I want to be good." Bucky said. "I want to feel good."  
"I know." Steve planted a kiss behind Bucky’s ear.  
"You are good. Do you want to make us feel good?" Sam asked him and he nodded again in response.  
"Let it out for daddy, Buck. Can you do that?"  
Sam had never used that word before and no one would have noticed Bucky's deep blush in the darkness except they could both feel the heat radiating off him.  
"Do you like that Sweetheart?"  
But Bucky didn't need to answer because his body was doing it for him.  
The piss came out of him violently, expanding his diaper and warming Sam's crotch. Steve was now aggressively grinding against Bucky's behind as Sam rubbed against his front. It was worse than he had realized, but when he thought about it he hadn't gone at all before drifting off to sleep and he had drank so much throughout the day, per Sam and Steve's orders. He felt like his stream might never stop emptying into his diaper. It was already squishy and heavy but his bladder showed no signs of being empty. He tried to clench his muscles again. To stop the stream now that he had some relief and finish it off in a dry diaper later. But Sam and Steve were not letting that happen. Bucky whined trying to resist the pull they had on him.  
"Guys I-" Bucky let out a small sob.  
"What's wrong honey?" Steve asked gently slowing his rocking.  
"I can't make it stop." Bucky whimpered.  
Steve chuckled. "We don't want you to stop."  
"Mmm mmm." Was all Sam managed to get out.  
"But it's too much. I'm going to leak." Bucky was really worried.  
"Do you want us to stop?" Steve was more concerned now.  
Bucky was quiet for a minute as everyone stilled themselves. "No... it feels so good... but I'll make such a mess..."  
They resumed their grinding on him.  
"That's okay, we always clean you up. We like the messes remember? We like to take care of our Bucky."  
This was new, Bucky never had an actual conversation while his penis poured piss into his diaper. He liked it though, being able to share his feelings and be comforted while he desperately, helplessly pissed his pants.  
"Okay." He said, no longer fighting his instincts.  
"I think I'm almost done," and after a moment of hesitation he said "daddy, I'm done peeing now."  
It drove Sam completely crazy and nearly pushed him over the edge.  
They kept going even after Bucky's stream had stopped, leaving him hard and aching. Little trickles escaped the diaper and flowed down Bucky’s leg. Soon he was panting, nearing climax. Steve and Sam took notice and increased their vigor. They came nearly in unison breathing hard into each other.  
"I think it's time to clean up our baby boy." Sam's voice boomed. And as Bucky walked to the bathroom he heard Steve, stripping the sheets from the bed say "so daddy is it?" And a warmth spread from his stomach to the rest of his body.


	2. Forget the shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky have a morning of fun alone together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, many apologies for the grammars and whatnot, I wrote this on my phone and am too lazy to edit it :P   
> Thanks for reading and hopefully you enjoy it. This is my total guilty pleasure as I don't usually write fics.

Sam was out for the morning. As much as Bucky had come to love and trust Sam as part of their relationship he enjoyed having days with just Steve, the way it was. They were laying in bed together enjoying the breakfast Steve had made them. Pancakes, bacon, fresh fruit because health was important, and of course a tall glass of orange juice. They talked, slow and easy, about everything. Music, the way it used to be, the world now, movies, everything except hydra which Bucky had nothing new to say about anyway.  
When they finished eating Steve took their plates into the kitchen and washed them up, returning with 2 bottles of water. Bucky smirked at Steve, he knew what he had in mind. He chugged the first bottle but slowly sipped the next, all while Steve lounged in the bed beside him. They playfully teased each other as Bucky took down the remainder of the second bottle. His belly felt full now but his bladder only had a tinge of discomfort. Not yet full. Bucky had said something bratty to Steve teasingly and immediately Steve was on top of him, pinning him down. A wild smile played on his lips. Bucky grunted at the weight of Steve but didn't try to push him off. It wasn't until Steve started tickling Bucky's skin around his waistband that he pushed against Steve. In a swift motion Bucky pushed Steve off, reaching for the pillow to whack him with. Steve blocked the blow with his arm, grabbing his own pillow to return the favor.   
But Bucky was too fast. He leapt off the bed and quickly ran into the living room. Steve chased after him, tackling him onto the couch. They both laughed as they struggled against each other.   
Bucky was too distracted by his fun to realize the liquid he'd drank made it to his bladder finally. Maybe that was a good thing. It wasn't until he and Steve fell to the floor that he noticed his heavy bladder. Nonetheless, he was having too much fun wrestling with Steve to pay it any mind. Steve was on top of him again, sitting on Bucky's groin, hands holding down his wrists. Bucky thrust his hips up suddenly and tipped to the side, dumping Steve onto the floor flat backed. Bucky climbed onto Steve now in the same fashion. It was then that Steve felt it. A small swell followed by immediate warmth on his crotch. Bucky noticed it too, but this time he didn't freeze up. Instead he pushed out another stream. It was difficult as he was quite hard from all this moving around with Steve. A moan escaped Steve's lips as he realized what Bucky was doing. He pushed himself up, sitting and facing Bucky to plant a slow deep kiss on his lips.  
"What a naughty boy you are. Taking control like that." Steve smiled. With that Bucky pushed Steve back down to the ground and began rubbing against him.   
What Steve had said made Bucky feel even hornier and he knew now it would be nearly impossible to pee with this erection.   
"Is that all?" Steve teased Bucky.   
Bucky lay flat on top of Steve wildly bucking his hips against Steve's groin.   
"No." He breathed. "But I'm too hard to go."   
Steve let out a chuckle. "Oh buck, I like it when you feel this good."  
He wrapped his arms around Bucky's neck, pulling his head to his chest. Bucky felt so comfortable in Steve's grasp. His thrusts increased in speed and he felt Steve shudder.  
"Buck" he whispered into Bucky's hair.   
That was all he needed. Bucky went over the edge, releasing ropes of cum into his diaper. He sat back up and Steve reached up, pushing on Bucky's bladder. He held his breath a moment, still filled with the ecstasy of cumming. Then he sighed and it came pouring out of him.   
"Steve" he breathed. "Oh God, Steve."  
Steve removed his hand so he could watch Bucky's pants expand over the diaper. The stream came out shaky at first, in small jets. Then it increased to a steady flow.   
Sam walked in to find Bucky straddling Steve, squeezing his own crotch as a wet patch formed on his thigh. Bucky's eyes were closed and his head was tipped back. Steve was watching Bucky intently as he wet himself. But this time it wasn't in shame, it was in complete pleasure. Sam admired them that way for a few seconds until Bucky shivered as his flow stopped. He flopped down onto Steve who wrapped him up tight.   
"Well aren't you guys just a mess." Sam said. "Looks like I got home just in time to clean you up."


	3. Daddies get desperate sometimes too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lil guy about a different character getting desperate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly fluff, no sex. It's also a little glimpse into Bucky's gaining more confidence.   
> How many of these will I post before I stop apologizing for them? Not sure, probably all of them.

"Jesus christ on a stick Rogers, could you hurry up in there?"   
Sam banged on the door to the bathroom.   
"I'm almost done rinsing!" Steve called out over the shower.   
Sam could hear the water running which made it all the worse for him. Bucky snickered from his place on the bed where he was pulling on a t-shirt.   
"Oh, you think this is funny do you?" Sam sauntered over to the bed, subtly pinching his crotch.  
He sat on the corner next to Bucky. Bucky leaned into Sam and kissed his neck.  
"You can let go if it hurts." He said, mimicking the words they used on him.  
Sam began to laugh but let out a groan quickly standing. He paced back and forth in front of the bed trying to think of anything else. Bucky pulled up the corner of the blanket revealing the stash of diapers they kept hidden there.   
"Very funny." Sam said.   
"Do you like these pants?" Bucky asked. "I'm not sure I do." He unbuttoned them and pulled them off, revealing his diaper.  
Bucky went to the drawer and started rifling through his clothes, apparently trying to find the perfect pair of pants. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.   
"I don't think I like the shirt either..." Sam tried to joke, wincing at a wave of desperation.  
Bucky pulled the shirt off, putting it back in a drawer. He then turned to face Sam.  
"Better?" He asked.   
"Perfect." Sam looked at Bucky's chest, his eyes sliding down his body until he got to his midsection.   
When Bucky saw Sam looking at the padding he decided to give him a little show. He pushed out a small stream, enough to turn the front yellow. Sam's eyes met Bucky's but before he could say anything Bucky was moving toward him. He cuddled up to Sam, pushing the padding against his hip as he forced out a little more.  
Sam's knees went weak as he heard the hiss coming from Bucky's diaper.   
Steve opened the door and Sam ran to the bathroom, nearly toppling Steve over. Bucky laughed when Sam didn't even bother to close the door. His pants were down by the time he reached the toilet and both Bucky and Steve chuckled when they heard Sam sigh in relief and his torrent hit the water.   
Steve walked over to Bucky, noticing the bulge in his padding. He squeezed it and said "let's change you," with a smile.   
"You're gonna pay for this Barnes!" Sam called from the bathroom.


	4. The safe word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reward ends up pushing Bucky too far. Steve shows his (gasp) switch side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. I am trash. Confirmed. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Bucky had made strides since coming to live with Steve. His PTSD was still an issue but they were all learning to cope with it. Because he had come such a long way Sam and Steve decided it would be a good idea to take Bucky out. The three of them would go to a nice dinner, have drinks, and stay in a hotel.  
"Can it have a pool?" Bucky asked excitedly when Sam and Steve told him their plans.  
"Of course." Steve smiled.  
"You know this is a reward for how much progress you've made right?" Sam asked.  
Bucky nodded.  
"We're going to have so much fun treating you right." Sam winked.  
Bucky blushed and continued packing. When he reached for a second diaper Steve stopped him. Bucky looked at him worriedly. But Steve gave him the 'no is no' look and Bucky left it alone.  
They threw their bags in the trunk of a car and headed out for the evening.  
Bucky was wearing khakis and a grey sweater while Sam wore dark wash Jeans and a black button up and Steve wore black pants with a blue Henley. Bucky felt nervous being in such light colored pants without the protective padding he was used to, but he trusted Sam and Steve and he wanted to prove that to them. Plus he really had gotten better at controlling his nervous bladder.  
Before dinner the three of them left their things in the hotel room and stopped off at the hotel bar. Steve ordered a drink for each of them plus an extra one for Bucky.  
"Drink up." He said, setting them all down on the high top table.  
"And don't forget to drink some water after, you know to prevent a hangover." Sam reminded him.  
They were always looking out for Bucky. Sam and Steve exchanged a smile as Bucky downed both his drinks and ordered a water.  
Once they had finished they made their way down the street to the restaurant. Bucky felt a light buzz in his head and a small ping in his bladder but mostly he was excited for the night with Steve and Sam. They ordered some more drinks while they waited for their table and another round once they were seated. Throughout the meal they sipped their drinks and talked about various things. Recent missions, world news, politics, and even sports were topics of discussion. Bucky started getting visibly desperate around the end of the main course. Sam and Steve took note and hurried through desert. They walked back to the hotel laughing and recounting silly memories.  
When they were back in their room Sam suggested a swim. They all changed and went up to the rooftop pool. It was empty, seeing how late it was. They dove in and for a while they were content just casually floating along until Bucky challenged them to a race. They lined up in the water and pushed off. They were tied up for a long time until Bucky pulled ahead at the last second. When Steve reached Bucky he dunked him under before wrapping him up.  
"You hustler!" Steve called.  
But Bucky froze up. "I... I think we should g-go.." he stammered.  
Sam joined them at the edge of the pool. "What's wrong?"  
"I - um... I need to uh." The last word came out as a moan and Bucky's eyes closed, head tipping back. Sam and Steve looked down into the water to see a yellow puff come from Bucky's trunks. Steve nodded and climbed out of the pool, attempting to pull Bucky's stiff body out. The movement made it harder for Bucky to hold it together.  
"Steve I can't - I won't make it."  
Sam helped Steve lift Bucky out as Steve whispered to him "yes you will, it's not far."  
The sound of water trickling off him made his need only grow stronger. They got him up and quickly towel dried before heading for their room. They were only one floor below the roof and the walk from the elevator wasn't long. He gripped himself the whole time, thankful that no one was there in the hallway to see.  
They made it to the room and locked the door behind them.  
"Come sit on the edge of the tub." Steve guided Bucky.  
It was one of those jetted jacuzzi tubs right beside the bed. Sam started the water in the tub and Bucky's eyes widened. The sound of running water made him squeeze tighter to maintain control. Steve stood Bucky up and helped him out of his swim shorts.  
"I need the..." but Bucky stopped remembering there was only one diaper.  
"No you don't." Steve rubbed Bucky's back. "We want to see you Buck. All of you." The way Steve looked at Sam who blushed made Bucky think this was his idea.  
"I can't, not without, I don't think I -"  
Steve got into the water which was now pooling around Bucky's ankles.  
"Can you do this for us Buck?" Sam went to Bucky and wrapped his arms around him. "I'd love to see the way your body looks when you feel good. Okay? Remember how I said I wanted to try some new things before?" Bucky nodded. "This is part of that. So will you let me see you? Will you do that for me sweetheart?"  
Sam and Steve had talked about taking things to other levels but Steve wanted to ease Bucky in. They couldn't just tie him up naked the first night and make him piss himself. Steve thought this would be an easier transition for Bucky.  
Bucky nodded and Sam stepped into the water with Steve. They sat down, facing bucky who still had his hand clamped down. Sam nodded at Steve who took hold of Bucky's free hand.  
"If you need to, use your safe word," he reminded.  
Bucky nodded.  
Sam took hold of Bucky's other wrist, pulling his hand from his penis. A little dribble escaped when his hand was removed. Bucky struggled against them but it was to no avail. His muscles went rigid in an attempt to hold back the flood gates but it didn't work. The dribble turned into several hard jets which eventually turned into a steady stream. Steve let go and turned the water off and in the silence all that could be heard was Bucky's piss hitting the water.  
Bucky's whole body blushed in embarrassment. Steve rubbed small circles on Bucky’s leg, reassuringly.  
Sam reached over and touched Bucky's penis as the piss fell from it. Bucky's eyes slammed open and even though he loved the look on Sam's face as he ran a finger over Bucky's slit, through his stream, he felt too exposed.  
"C-" he began. "Cryo." He whispered.  
Immediately Steve pulled Bucky into the water and wrapped his arms around him. Bucky buried his face in the crook of Steve's neck as his breathing intensified, bordering on panic attack. Steve rubbed Bucky's back and soothed him.  
"You did so good for Sam, Buck. You did so good. You're so good."  
Bucky was still going, perhaps unaware of it now. But Steve could feel the hot liquid spreading over his skin.  
Sam's hand joined Steve's on Bucky's back.  
"I'm sorry Buck, I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. But you aren't bad, you're really really good. It's hard to trust me and try something new but you did it."  
Bucky took a deep breath, his stream had stopped.  
"Its okay." He looked at Sam now. "I'm sorry I stopped. I just -"  
"shhh, it's okay bud. I'm not mad. Im - well." He looked down.  
Bucky noticed Sam's hand moving under the water. "Seeing you like that, feeling it, damn Bucky, you looked so amazing. And you trusted me so much to let me try that, it feels really good."  
Bucky let go of Steve and joined Sam. He straddled Sam and started rubbing his hardness against Sam's.  
"Oh, buck..." Sam moaned.  
Steve smiled watching them, his own hand finding its way between his legs. Though he was turned on by the sight, he couldn't get too hard due to his own desperation, a backup plan for the evening.  
"Hey guys, I uh... I kind of have to go."  
Sam smiled at him. "Why don't you join us Steve?"  
"I'd be glad to." Steve scooted over next to them. "Would you want to watch me Buck? Do you want to see that sometimes we have to go too?"  
Bucky nodded actually interested to see this side of Steve. Steve got up out of the water and perched on the edge of the tub. Sam pushed his knees wide. The cold air hit Steve and a small trickle started. The sound made Bucky realize he hadn't let it all out before and as he watched Steve piss into the water he let himself go as well, wrapped around Sam's body.  
Sam was intently watching Steve, who looked purely relieved, when he felt a warmth on his abdomen. Bucky smiled at him as it settled on his groin. The sensation and sight was too much for Sam and when Bucky wiggled in his lap he went over the edge.  
Watching Sam cum made Steve insanely horny and as soon as the pee stopped coming he was hard. Bucky smiled at him then went to him, wrapping his lips around Steve. Sam reached under the water to work Bucky as he sucked off Steve. Steve finished quickly, letting himself back into the water. Sam was moving his hand at lightning speed and Bucky was so close to cumming. When Steve reached down and massaged Bucky's balls it was all over and he came harder than he ever has.  
They cleaned up and put the diaper on Bucky before falling fast asleep that night.


	5. Public displays of desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desperation hits at an inconvenient moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah there's sex in this one, kind of. I don't really care if this makes sense. I just am here for me :'D

Bucky awoke the next morning cuddled between Steve and Sam. He was coming to learn each of their roles in this relationship. Steve was his comfort but Sam wasn't afraid to push Bucky's limits and see just how far they could go. It scared Bucky but he kind of liked the challenge. He decided to repay Steve and Sam for the night before by ordering room service and confirming a late checkout with the front desk. He was surprisingly still dry from the night prior, and not wanting to waste the diaper he went to the restroom to relieve himself. He pulled on a pair of grey sweatpants to meet the room service at the door. The knock woke Steve who startled with concern upon noticing Bucky was no longer in the bed. He jumped up and ran to the other room, seeing Bucky wheel in a cart with 3 plates. He breathed a deep sigh before smiling at Bucky.   
"What's all this?"   
Bucky walked past him and planted a kiss on Steve's shoulder. "Just a little repayment."   
They woke Sam and ate together in bed. After they'd finished they packed up and checked out. In the cab they called they all sat comfortably in the back. Bucky was in between Sam and Steve. About a mile from the apartment they got stuck in traffic. Bucky was shifting uncomfortably. Steve looked at him with concern and Bucky, barely audibly, whined. Steve took hold of Bucky's hand and squeezed it tight offering him a sympathetic smile. Sam put a hand on Bucky's knee which was shaking up and down wildly. His breathing quickened as he looked at the line of cars in front of theirs.   
The driver looked in the rearview mirror.  
"Hey is he okay?" He asked of Bucky who was tense now.   
"Yeah," Steve said. "He just gets a little anxious in closed in spaces."   
"He's not gonna throw up or anything is he?" The driver asked crassly.   
"No. He's not going to throw up." Sam jumped to the defense. Bucky half smiled at Sam who winked back.   
The car inched forward, painstakingly slowly. They were so close to home and yet they couldn't get there any slower. Bucky squeezed down on Steve's hand, clamping his thighs together. He shook his head, hair falling around his pink face.  
"Are you sure hes al -" the driver started.  
"Yes!" Steve and Sam snapped in unison.   
Sam moved his hand to Bucky's back and rubbed small circles. "Its okay, we'll be home soon."   
His other hand came to Bucky's knee which he directed toward his own. Steve's free hand went to Bucky's other knee and pulled it in the opposite direction. Bucky looked up in horror but Steve gave him that look. The look that told him to let go, that they would take care of him and everything would be fine. He slouched a little in his seat, allowing his legs to fall open more. He rested his head against the back of the seat and tried not to think about where he was. But that was impossible. Every now and then he would catch the drivers eyes on him in the mirror. A small leak escaped with an obvious hiss and he froze up. He dropped his head to his chest and whispered "I cant."  
Ahead Steve saw an opening along the side of the road. "Just pull over up here and we'll walk the rest of the way."   
The car pulled over and they exited taking their bags.  
"Up here." Steve said.   
Sam and Steve encouraged Bucky forward until they reached an alley. Steve shoved them both down the alley to the back corner. Sandwiched between two businesses there were no windows for people to see what was about to happen. And no one passing on the street would think to look down there.   
"Come here buck." Steve opened his arms. Bucky embraced him and melted against Steve's chest.  
"I couldn't do it Steve, I tried but he kept looking and I..."  
"shhh, I know. It's okay." Steve soothed him.   
Sam rubbed Bucky’s back "It's okay now. We're alone. We're going to take care of you like we always do. Okay?"  
Bucky nodded.  
Sam hugged Bucky from behind. The pressure from being squished between Sam and Steve made Bucky lose control. His knees went weak but they held him up.   
"That's it." Steve whispered as Bucky's padding expanded against him. "Just like that."  
Bucky was panting, completely relieved until he realized how full he was getting. "It's going to leak, I don't want to..."   
"Its okay." Sam said.   
"No, I don't want to walk home with wet pants, everyone will know." Bucky let out a sob.  
Steve and Sam eyed each other.   
"Are you almost done?" Steve asked.   
Bucky just shook his head, turning red in the cheeks.   
"Here," Sam started. "How about we will take off the diaper and toss it in one of these trash cans and you can just finish in the corner there?" Bucky thought about it for a while but after seeing no other option he agreed, reluctantly.  
"We'll block you so no one can see." Steve assured him. Bucky stopped his stream long enough so Steve and Sam could help him undo his pants and get the diaper off. As soon as the cool air hit his penis it was harder to control. His stream shot out violently against the building. He regained control for a moment so he could aim and not get splashed. Steve and Sam flanked him, offering not only physical support and blocking him from view but also saying little gentle things to him, reminding him he was good and that they still loved him.   
Bucky moaned as his stream fell forcefully to the ground. Sam and Steve watched in amazement at the sheer volume coming from Bucky.   
The final few drips finally squeezed out and Bucky almost fell to his knees.  
"C'mon big guy." Sam put an arm around Bucky's waist. "Let's get you home."


	6. Quickie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings are complicated. Bucky learns something about Steve and Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, yeah. This again. I'm sorry. Mostly fluff.   
> I feel like I probably accelerated this too much. Feelings change fast here but it's fictional so I guess that's okay.

It was early one morning and Sam and Steve awoke before Bucky. They got out of bed without disturbing him and made their way to the bathroom.  
They didn't want to move too fast for Bucky but they did miss a sort of physicality they had before his rearrival. So every now and then they would sneak around as Bucky slept and have a quickie.   
When Bucky awoke the bed was cold and he was alone. He could hear the shower running. After laying there for a while Bucky got up and ventured over to the bathroom. He expected to find Steve in there. He would sit on the toilet and talk to him. But when he opened the door he saw something totally unexpected.  
Through the fogged up glass shower door Bucky saw Sam and Steve. He watched for a minute before turning and slamming the door. Steve looked up in time to see Bucky storming from the bathroom.   
"Fuck." The one time they didn't lock the door.  
They turned the shower off and Steve quickly wrapped a towel around his waist. He flung open the door and left Sam in the bathroom to dry himself.   
Bucky was pacing the room, biting his nails until they were so small and painful he moved onto the next. How long had they been doing that? Lying to him. Sneaking around behind his back. Did they like each other better than him? He knew it was only a matter of time before they got sick of him.   
"Buck..." Steve was standing in the doorway with his hands up submissively. "Hey we need to talk about this Buck."   
He went to Bucky and put his hand on his shoulder. Bucky was breathing heavily, tense at Steve's touch. He shook his head.   
"No."   
"Bucky..."   
"I said no!" Bucky shoved Steve to the ground. Sam had exited the bathroom as Bucky attempted to go to the door. In an instant Sam was on Bucky. Steve joined Sam as they restrained Bucky, bringing him to the bed. They sat him on the edge. His muscles twitched against them attempting to break free from their grasp.   
When he realized he couldn't over power the both of them Bucky submitted. Sitting on the bed arms crossed he avoided looking at either of their faces.   
"Just let me go." He hugged himself tightly. "You don't want me here anyway. The two of you don't want me. I knew it. I knew -" he stopped himself.   
Steve sat next to Bucky, softening himself to him. He reached out and tried to touch Bucky's face but he pulled away.   
"Buck, that's not it."   
"Then why did you bring him here?" He looked at Sam.   
"Bucky!" Steve reprimanded him. "You know why I brought Sam here."   
"Yeah so you could have a normal relationship while you had to take care of me."   
Steve shook his head. "Look at me buck."  
Bucky looked away.   
Steve took Bucky's chin in his hand. "Look at me. Hey."   
A tear formed on Bucky's cheek. "I love you. We love you."  
Sam joined them on the bed.   
"But Bucky, we didn't want things to move too fast for you. We know you might not be ready for some things. We wanted to be understanding of that. But we still have... you know."   
Sam interjected. "What we do with you is amazing, and it makes us feel so, so good."   
Bucky put his hands over his face and sobbed. "But it's not enough."   
"No. Hey. That's not it at all." Sam soothed him.   
"Yeah. But it's... You remember how that felt? Before?" Steve thought back to before the freeze.   
Bucky nodded.   
"You know sometimes it's just. It isn't better than this. It's just different. Sometimes we just want to feel different." And after a moment he added. "We love you so much. And if we thought this was something you would want we would have included you. But we didn't want to move too fast." Steve pulled Bucky to him. "I promise."   
Bucky cried against Steve's bare chest for a little while as Sam patted his back.   
"I dont know." He finally said. "I don't know if I'm ready."   
"That's okay." Steve comforted.   
"And we don't, uh. We can stop if you aren't comfortable." Sam said.   
Bucky thought for a long time. Then he shook his head. "I think it's okay." Then after another moment he added. "Maybe sometimes you could... I mean I could.. watch? Maybe?" He turned bright red.  
Sam chuckled "yeah man, if you feel comfortable. If you want to."   
"But only if you want to." Steve had a serious look on his face.   
Bucky nodded. Then Steve kissed the tip of Bucky's nose and went to the dresser to find some clothes.   
Bucky cleared his throat. "Hey steve?"   
Steve turned to face Bucky.   
"Maybe you could finish what you started?" Steve smiled at Bucky’s blush and returned to the bed.


	7. I love you too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Bucky share something intimate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot going on in this one. Idk, sometimes I like longer works, sometimes shorter. This is also like a few months after the last one.   
> The pink dolphin mentioned is something I got from Lauralot's No Shame November series.

"Do you have to go?" Bucky protested.   
"Yeah, Buck. I'm sorry."   
"But it won't be for long and we're going to have a great time! Right?" Sam smiled at Bucky.   
"But last time..."   
"I know. But this won't be like last time. It's not a mission, just a meeting of sorts. Okay?"   
Bucky nodded and took his seat on the couch next to Sam. He absentmindedly ran his fingers over the pink dolphin as Steve gathered his bags by the door.   
"Don't have too much fun without me now." Steve winked.   
"Never." Sam Said.   
Bucky stayed silent, just staring blankly and petting the dolphin. Sam patted him on the shoulder, reminding him to breathe. Bucky took a deep inhale and exhale, attempting to stabilize his breath. His heart pounded thinking of all the things that could go wrong.   
"Bucky. Everything will be okay." Steve squeezed him before heading out the door.  
Bucky curled himself up as tightly as he could, dolphin in hand, and fought back against a panic attack. Sam comforted him as best he could. It wasn't long before Bucky felt a warmth between his legs and tensed. It had been a while since he'd had a panic attack to this degree and he forgot about how easy it was for his body to let go like that when he wasn't listening to it. Sam took notice and dragged Bucky on top of him. He put each of Bucky's knees on either side of his hips and pulled his face to his shoulder. The pink dolphin was sandwiched between them.   
"Shhh Buck. Steve's going to be just fine. You know how safe he tries to be to come back to us. To you."  
Bucky nodded and sniffled against Sam's shirt. The padding grew another swell as Sam hugged Bucky tighter to him. Bucky tried to fight it, but Sam's grip was so tight and he began to feel really good in his arms. "Let it all out Bucky. Don't hurt yourself over this." Sam started out gently, but he became more firm with Bucky over time. And Bucky didn't mind it. He could always count on Steve to be softer, more gentle encouragement. And Sam had become the more commanding force. Somehow it worked, complicated as it was.   
"When you're done I'll clean you up. I know it's not as good as when Steve is here too, but I'll take good care of you Buck. Just like I promised."   
"It's good." Bucky whispered.   
"What's that?" Sam tipped his head down to look at bucky.  
"It's good. You're good." Bucky whined to Sam.  
This made him smile, any approval he could get from Bucky, even now after quite some time, was an accomplishment. Sam squeezed around Bucky as tight as he could. He felt the force getting heavier and heavier on his groin. Sam could tell when Bucky was finally empty by the way he slumped over. He stood, lifting Bucky and carried him into the bathroom. When his feet were planted on the cold tile floor Sam began to strip Bucky down. He filled the bath with hot water and some soothing scented bath salts he found in the cupboard.  
"Why don't you get in and relax?"   
Bucky nodded and proceeded into the water. The tub wasn't too big so a few parts of Bucky stuck out of the water. His shoulders, knees and hips were in the cool air.  
"I'll let you relax for a bit okay? I'll be right out there if you need anything." Sam closed the door all but a crack and went to the kitchen to make some tea.  
Bucky lay in the warm water and finally relaxed. He drifted off to sleep with his head resting on the cool ceramic behind him. Sam returned to find Bucky asleep in the tub. He thought to wake him but he looked so peaceful so he perched himself on the toilet and sipped some tea, looking at something on his phone. After some moments of quiet Bucky stirred. His head rolled side to side and his eyes twitched. Sam put his cup on the counter and knelt beside the tub. Bucky was whispering something but Sam couldn't make it out. Sam reached his hand out to Bucky and stroked his hair. Not wanting to startle him he thought to wake Bucky slowly. Sam heard an indistinct hiss and looked down to see Bucky relieving himself. The golden liquid spread across Bucky's abdomen and trickled into the water. Bucky's eyes opened wide and he sat up abruptly. His hand immediately went to his crotch.   
"Oh no." He whispered still not completely coherent.   
Sam reached for his elbow, pulling his hand away.  
"Its okay. You were having a dream. It's okay Bucky just let it go."   
Bucky leaned his head on Sam, feeling drowsy. His lower body was now in the water and yellow clouds were forming around his penis.  
"Feels good." He whispered sleepily.   
When he appeared to be done Sam moved to drain the water.  
"Let's shower off?" Bucky stood and Sam took off his own clothes, joining Bucky. They washed each other in the steamy water. Bucky was still drowsy and a little weak but his hardness was relentless against Sam.   
"Let me help you out with that." Sam smiled, soaping up his hands for lubrication. Bucky leaned against Sam panting into his ear as Sam rubbed Bucky off. He came hard and fast and Sam had to catch him when his knees buckled.   
"I love you." Bucky whispered softly.   
Sam smiled.   
They rinsed and shut the water off. Bucky felt weak and dehydrated so Sam helped him to the bed and gave him plenty of water. Bucky dozed off and Sam wandered into the living room to flip through the TV.   
He didn't know how long he had been asleep, but when Sam woke up Bucky was seated next to him, looking at some documentary on the TV.   
"Hey, how're you feeling?" Sam stretched.   
"Good. Better." Bucky seemed calm.   
"Hey Sam?"   
"Mmhmm?"   
"I think I'd like to try... with you. I think when Steve face times us tonight I want him to have a show."   
Sam sat upright. "Are you sure? You don't have to."  
"No, I... I think I want to."   
"Okay, if you're sure. You can always use your safe word with me too. Okay? If you don't like it just use the word."   
Bucky nodded and resumed watching the show. Sam was shocked. In the hours leading up to Steve's call, Sam noticed Bucky drinking a considerable amount of water. He didn't really think much of it, honestly, because that had become such a ritual. And maybe that's why Bucky had been drinking so much, because it was routine.   
"Do you want to warm up a little?" Sam broke the silence. "It might hurt if we just go right for it."  
Bucky nodded. Sam wasn't sure about how the relationship between he and Steve worked before but it had been, what, 90 some years?  
Sam took Bucky's hand and lead him to the bedroom. He took off Bucky's clothes first, slowly, then his own. Sam retrieved a bottle of lube from the dresser and joined Bucky on the bed.   
"Remember your word?" Bucky nodded. "And you're sure about this?"   
"Yes."   
Sam started by kissing Bucky all over. His shoulders, chest, back, neck and ending on his lips. He put his mouth on Bucky and sucked him lightly. Bucky moaned out loud. As he was doing this, Sam put a little lube on his finger and put it inside Bucky. He wiggled a little but once Sam found the sweet spot Bucky melted. Moaning loudly and bucking his hips. After a while Sam inserted another finger and Bucky felt uncomfortable but not bad. Again, Sam found the sweet spot and began massaging it, making Bucky insanely horny and loosening him up. When the third finger went in Bucky tensed up.  
"Are you okay?" Sam asked.   
Bucky waited a moment, took a breath and relaxed his body before answering. "Yeah, I'm okay."   
"You're doing so good buck."  
Sam continued, moving his fingers around inside bucky and warming his body up to the sensation.   
It brought bucky back to his first experiences with Steve. But it had been some time since that happened. The laptop started beeping. Steve was calling them. Sam gently retracted his fingers and wiped them on a towel he had brought to the bed. They answered the call and saw Steve, lounging in his hotel bed.   
"Well, looks like you guys didn't want to wait for me to get back to have some fun." He smiled.  
"Bucky wanted to surprise you." Sam laughed. "You know what a tease he can be."   
"Oh?" Steve was interested. He put his phone on the nightstand and propped it against the lamp. "Let me just get comfortable then." Steve quickly stripped off his clothes and lay on his side in full view of the camera.   
"We're doing something a little different tonight." Sam's voice boomed over the speaker.   
"Hold on." Steve popped in some earbuds and told them to continue.   
Bucky was ready to go, and he put his mouth on Sam's penis to get him good and wet. Out of view of the camera Sam put some lube on his hand. He moaned as Bucky went to work on him. Bucky stopped and Sam's hand went immediately to his crotch to smooth the lube over himself. Bucky turned to face the computer and moved it to the side so Steve would get the full view. He could see Steve working himself slowly on the screen.   
"Are you ready?" Sam asked Bucky.   
Bucky nodded. Sam moved behind Bucky and pushed against him. The tip pushed against Bucky and he relaxed his muscles to allow Sam in. Sam pushed in slowly, agonizingly slowly. He stopped once he was all the way in and gave Bucky a moment to adjust. Steve was now watching in earnest.   
"You okay?" Sam asked of Bucky.   
"Yes." Was all Bucky said, breathless. Sam began thrusting slowly, full long pumps. As he increased his speed Bucky started to realize how full his bladder was. It actually felt good, the combination of Sam's thrusts against his full bladder and the thought of Steve watching them, getting off.   
Steve couldn't believe what he was seeing. He loved it, but couldn't believe it. He thought the screen had frozen when suddenly Bucky went rigid and Sam stopped moving.   
"You okay buck?" Sam asked concerned.   
"I um..." Bucky looked flustered. "I really have to go."   
"Do you want to stop?" Sam asked.   
Bucky shook his head a little. "No, but I don't think I'll make it - ah" the pressure was too much and a spurt escaped Bucky.   
Steve wanted so badly to be there. He didn't know how Bucky would handle this.   
Sam realized what happened and grabbed the towel from beside the bed, trying not to move too much.  
"Its okay." He kissed Bucky on the back as he put the towel underneath him. "We don't have to stop. You can just let it out here."   
Steve's speed increased as he heard their dialogue. Bucky looked to Steve who gave him a nod. So they continued.   
Bucky started to feel a pain in his abdomen.   
"I don't think I can like this."   
"Shh" Sam hushed him and pressed further into him.  
A few more thrusts and another spurt of urine. Then Sam was moving constantly and more and more leaks came out into the towel. Steve watched as Sam fucked Bucky while he desperately pissed on a towel. Bucky was moaning loudly with every leak. When a steady stream picked up, Sam reached around and balled up the towel, holding it against Bucky.  
"You're so good buck."  
The feeling of the towel growing hot and wet against him turned Bucky on. After his stream stopped he began bucking his hips against the towel. Sam held it firmly against Bucky. Bucky was the first to cum. His sensitive cock pumping cum into the wet towel. Then it was Steve who couldn't handle seeing Bucky thrust his hips and hearing him moan as he bit down on the pillow. Sam tossed the towel to the floor and braced himself against Bucky's hips, thrusting deeply until he let go. Sam fell to the bed beside Bucky and kissed his ear.  
"I love you too." He half whispered.  
Bucky got up to go clean himself in the bathroom leaving Steve and Sam alone.   
"Too?" Steve raised his eyebrows at Sam who simply shrugged.


	8. No nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short lust filled moment between Bucky and Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short, complete smut.

Steve woke when he felt Bucky stir beside him. He whined at losing the warmth of Bucky's body. Bucky was laying on his back and Steve heard his breath quicken. Steve turned to face Bucky. He rested his head on Bucky's shoulder and pressed their bodies close. He hated when bucky had nightmares. It always caused him so much stress. Steve reached a hand down to check Bucky's padding. He was surprised to find it dry. Not only was it dry, but Bucky was really hard.  
His hips responded to Steve's touch. Bucky was pressing himself up to Steve's hand, grinding against the pressure. Steve smiled and let out a quiet laugh. He obliged Bucky, glad he was finally having a good dream. Steve matched Bucky's movements. He looked at Bucky’s face. His lips were twitching and Steve wondered where Bucky was.  
Steve could tell Bucky was getting closer to climax. His hips moving faster and faster. Bucky whispered barely audibly "Rogers." And Steve knew exactly where Bucky’s head was at. He was with Steve before the war.  
Steve kissed bucky on the cheek and bucky opened his eyes sleepily. He realized what was happening and took Steve in his arms. They kissed deeply rubbing their bodies together.  
"Steve." Bucky whispered.  
Steve stopped moving and tossed the covers off himself. He pulled Bucky by the hand out of the bed carefully so as to not disturb Sam. When the door to the bedroom was closed Steve and Bucky embraced again kissing each other deeply. Steve's shirt was pulled off and discarded on the floor. Bucky dropped to his knees and removed Steve's shorts. He took Steve in his mouth. Steve let his head fall back against the wall. He fought to keep from moaning out loud. After a moment he pulled Bucky back up to him and undressed him. They made their way to the couch and Steve sat Bucky down. He knelt in front of Bucky to return the favor. Soon Steve was standing, facing away from Bucky. He lowered himself onto bucky, easing the length of bucky inside him. Bucky shuttered at the feeling. How long had it been?  
Steve leaned back against Bucky as their bodies moved in unison. Bucky gripped Steve tightly breathing into his neck.  
"Oh. Barnes." Steve half whispered, half moaned.  
Bucky played along. "Rogers."  
He panted the word into Steve's ear. Steve's hand moved over himself faster at that.  
"I love you buck." Steve grunted. "Love you. So. Much." He held his breath for a moment and then released it all at once, gasping to regulate his breathing.  
Bucky's breath quickened and with a sigh his body relaxed.  
"I love you too Steve." He kissed Steve on the shoulder and groaned when Steve stood up, leaving him cold without his body.  
They did a quick clean up in the bathroom before returning to Sam in bed.


	9. Drinking game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky pushes himself a bit too far in front of the other Avengers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet. In my imagination Bucky can get a decent buzz. I know Steve can't but you know, it's fiction. Also Bucky maybe had less serum than Steve?

Why had they agreed to come to Tony's for drinks? Sam didn't want to and Steve certainly didn't. It was for bucky. He wanted so badly to fit in and feel normal. As much as he possibly could anyway.  
Bucky had knocked back a few too many, at Tony's encouragement of course. Steve and Sam decided to stay mostly sober whenever Bucky was around, just in case. Tonight that was proving to be a good thing. Bucky was feeling good to say the least. He made jokes that the others laughed at, and seemed to be fitting in quite well in conversation. Steve wasn't sure if Bucky would even remember to feel embarrassed by his diaper when he was this buzzed. That could be a good thing because when he leaked he wouldn't get all panicky. But, as Steve saw Bucky's waistband slipping down and his diaper riding up he knew if anyone knew about their little secret Bucky would feel really bad once he sobered up.   
"Hey buck, why don't you come sit with us?" Steve suggested.   
Bucky joined Steve and Sam on the couch. Steve put an arm around Bucky and whispered in his ear. "Might want to keep your pants in check."  
Bucky's face flushed and an audible "ooh" arose from their friends.   
"What's that you're whispering Stevie? Sweet nothings in his ear?" Tony asked.   
Steve blushed now too.   
"Oh c'mon Tony, leave 'em alone." Bruce defended.   
Tony put his hands up in defense. The chatter began again and everyone laughed and talked for a while before Steve noticed Bucky squirming.   
Steve yawned. "We should probably turn in for the night."   
He glanced at Bucky hopefully.   
"But things are just getting good." He pleaded with Steve.   
"But Buck, don't you have some things you've got to take care of?"   
"Nah, I'm okay." Bucky waved.   
"Don't be such a stick in the mud Cap. We're having fun."   
Steve surrendered. He wasn't going to fight it. Not yet. Bucky was fine. He knew his limit. All these lies Steve told himself.   
After a half hour had gone by Bucky was shaking his leg vigorously. Steve looked at Bucky with concern but Bucky seemed fine. That is until it began raining outside. When Bucky saw the drops streaking the window his face went pale.   
"Hey, is he okay?" Natasha asked.   
Steve and Sam looked at Bucky with concern.   
"Yeah, uh he's probably just hit the wall. You know how it is." Steve jumped up.   
"We're just going to get him to bed. He gets overstimulated sometimes." Sam joined Steve and they each grabbed an elbow, helping Bucky up. Standing put pressure on Bucky's bladder that he didn't notice before. He doubled over, groaning a bit.   
"Are you sure he's okay?" Natasha stood.   
"Yeah!" "Yes, of course." Sam and Steve both muttered simultaneously.   
They practically had to drag Bucky down the hall to their room. Bucky was panting as they shoved him into the room, locking the door behind them.  
"Buck, are you okay?" Steve asked.  
"Mmhmm... mm-mm." Bucky's body relaxed and a look of relief flashed across his face. "Oh. Oh God I had to go. So bad. Oh."   
Sam went to Bucky on the ground.   
"Shh. Buck."  
Steve and Sam could hear the diaper filling.  
"Bucky, hey, we're going to help you to the bathroom. These are the only pants you have." Steve said in his gentlest voice.   
They got Bucky up and undid his pants again dragging him to the bathroom attached to their room. Sam pulled off Bucky's pants as Steve sat him on the side of the tub. It wasn't a moment too soon because Bucky’s padding started leaking onto the floor as soon as he sat down. A considerable puddle began collecting at Bucky’s feet as it ran down his legs.   
Steve and Sam could only stand and watch as Bucky got his relief.


	10. They know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Steve leave Bucky alone at HQ for the day. He has an embarrassing moment with Nat.

Everyone was at the avengers headquarters when Sam got the call. He and Steve had to step away for a bit.   
"Will you be alright here?" Steve asked for the ninth time.   
"Yes."   
"Are you sure?" Steve checked again.  
Sam watched their exchange from across the room.   
"Steve, he said he'll be okay."   
"I know. But we've never left him alone with people."   
"He's made a lot of progress you know." Sam planted a hand on Steve's shoulder.   
Bucky looked between them as they discussed his well being. Steve hesitated for a moment then turned to Bucky.   
"Okay. Look, it won't be long. A few hours max. And we will be reachable on our phones. You can call us or anyone here can call for you."   
Bucky nodded in response to everything Steve said.   
"Okay." Steve sighed.   
Tony knocked on the door. "You kids ready? Bus is leaving."  
Steve hesitated again and then went for the door. He pushed past Tony and down the hall.   
"What's his problem?" Sam just shook his head and followed.  
Bucky sat for a while in the room but when he got bored of being alone he ventured out to the common area.   
Natasha was there going over some files at the table.  
"Hey bud." He liked how she always called him that.   
"Hey Nat." He sat on the sofa comfortable just to have the presence of another person. She tapped her pen as she poured over the papers scattered around.   
The tapping lulled Bucky to sleep.   
Natasha hadn't noticed anything until Bucky began thrashing on the couch. His breath was raspy like he was gasping for air. She didn't know what to do. Usually this was Steve's forte. The only thing she could think to do was go sit next to him. She put her hand on his head and stroked his hair. He woke startled and grabbed her shoulders. The look on his face wasn't aggressive it was fear. Although his grip may have made someone believe otherwise.   
"Hey bud. It's okay. It's just me. You were sleeping. You were just dreaming."   
He blinked wildly trying to adjust between asleep and awake. He was breathing so fast it bordered hyperventilating. He finally came to as he felt warmth spread between his legs. Unable to grab himself and too afraid to let go completely in front of Nat Bucky tensed every muscle in his body.   
"Why don't we get you somewhere quiet?" She smiled at him.   
He nodded, standing alongside her. It hurt to stand when he was this full. She wrapped an arm around him to help him to his room. They made it halfway down the hall before he couldn't do it anymore. It hurt too bad. He fell to his knees and she knelt beside him. Rolling down onto his side Bucky hugged his knees up to his chest. His panic was full blown now. To make matters worse Bruce, who had heard the commotion, exited a room near them.   
"Hey, everything okay? I heard -" he stopped when he saw Bucky.   
"I dont know." Natasha whispered. "He just fell down. I'm not sure what's wrong."   
Bucky was having a full blown panic attack in front of Steve's friends while he wet himself. He didn't want them to find out about the second part.   
"Can we help you to your room Buck?" Bruce was kneeling beside him, hand on his shoulder.   
Bucky tried to respond but he couldn't catch his breath enough.   
"What can we do? Do you want us to call Steve?"   
At the very mention of his name Bucky felt a surge of calm. He nodded and gasped. "Steve."   
And as if on cue, Steve and Sam came through the door to HQ.   
"Steve!" Nat called. "Down here. We need a little help."   
Steve ran in the direction of Natasha's voice. He sat on the ground beside Bucky and wrapped him up.   
"What happened?" He almost growled.   
"I'm not sure." She shrugged. "He was dreaming and then. I don't know he seemed to be in pain. Sam joined them in the hall. "Sometimes he doesn't fully wake up, he gets confused and thinks he's still in the dream." They had rehearsed that lie for just this moment.   
"Its okay, we've got him now." Steve's voice was much calmer this time.   
Bucky grasped Steve's shirt as Natasha and Bruce were ushered away by Sam. Steve held Bucky in the hall and hushed him.   
"Hey Buck. It's just me now. Okay? You're okay."  
"I couldn't hold it Steve." Bucky sobbed.   
"Its okay. I know you couldn't. It wasn't your fault."   
"They know."   
"No they don’t."   
"They were here. They know, they have to know. I embarrassed you and Sam in front of your friends."   
"Buck, I promise you they don't know. And even if they do, they wouldn't say anything. They're your friends too, they care about you. They just want to know you're okay."  
Bucky didn't have a response. He just continued to hold onto Steve.   
"Why don't we get you cleaned up? Then we can go back out there."   
Bucky nodded, taking Steve's hand as he stood.


	11. The chess game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky meets a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No sex, no wetting, just plot I guess? Is this plot?

They were still at HQ which was weird. They'd been there for the whole weekend. But something was different when bucky woke up that morning. He heard a new voice among his friends. He wanted to prove how much growth he had undergone the past few months and so he walked confidently into the kitchen. A young boy looked up at bucky when he came into the room. Steve and Sam both watched from where they were standing.  
"Hi! I'm Peter." The boy smiled. "You must be Bucky because I don't think we've met yet but I've heard people talk about you. I mean over heard about you. I mean-"  
"Yes. I am Bucky." Bucky held out his hand and Peter shook it.  
"Well it's nice to meet you Mr. Bucky."  
The corners of Bucky's mouth twitched. "You can just call me Bucky."  
Peter nodded. "Oh, okay."  
Bucky poured some coffee into a cup and went to Steve who simply smiled at him. Sam was beaming with pride. Ever the optimist, Sam saw this as a huge step. Steve, however, still knew how fragile this was.  
Tony pulled all the avengers into the conference room leaving Bucky and Peter alone in the kitchen.  
"Hey. Do you like chess?" Peter finally asked Bucky.  
Bucky shrugged. "Yeah, I like it alright."  
"W- would you want to play? I mean, with me?"  
Bucky stifled a laugh. "Sure."  
Admittedly, he actually liked Peter. He reminded Bucky of something simpler. They took the wooden box of pieces along with the board into the atrium. They played one game and then another and another.  
Peter didn't ask Bucky about his past and Bucky didn't pick on Peter. It was simple and easy and a surprisingly good match. The meeting had convened and Sam and Steve were standing watching Bucky laugh at something Peter said through the window. Tony stood between them.  
"What's going on here? We having a play date?"  
Steve elbowed Tony in the ribs.  
"What? Lighten up. Have you thought about my suggestion?"  
"No." Steve snapped.  
"Hey, okay. Just think about it. Alright?" Peter looked at tony and smiled. Tony nodded back to him.  
"So are you here to train too?" Peter asked Bucky when it was his move.  
"Train?" Bucky watched Peter's pieces intently.  
"Yeah, Mr. Stark says something big is happening. It's an all hands on deck kind of situation. That's why I'm here."  
"Oh. I don't know. I -" Bucky looked down.  
"Oh hey. No don't feel bad. Maybe they just haven't talked to you yet."  
"Maybe..." Bucky shifted in his chair.  
"Yeah. That's probably it. I'm sure that's it."  
"Maybe they just don't think I'm..." Bucky stopped himself. He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head. Steve took note of Bucky's distress and moved toward the door. Sam stopped him.  
"Let's let him figure this out for a minute."  
They didn't know what was setting him off. Sam had faith that he could sort himself out.  
"And what was all that about?" He nodded toward Tony.  
"Its nothing." Steve sighed. "It's just. He wants Buck to train."  
Sam only nodded.  
"I don't think it's a good idea." Steve continued.  
"I think he's ready." Sam retorted.  
"You saw him yesterday Sam. He was a mess. He couldn't... what if something happens to us or to him? What if he has a panic attack?"  
"There are so many what ifs. But look at how much progress he’s made. Look at him meeting new people?"  
They turned their attention back to the window. Bucky was attempting to calm his breath.  
"I'm not good enough. I'm just. I'm a screw up. You know? They can’t trust me."  
"Hey, no." Peter reached out and put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. "No, I'm sure it's not that. I mean, look at you."  
"Yeah. Look at me I can't... I can't even handle -" his breath caught in his throat.  
Peter got out of his chair and knelt beside Bucky.  
"They're probably just scared that you'll be so good. Better than any of them." Peter smiled up at Bucky and Bucky couldn't help but return the smile.  
"So can we finish this game or what?"  
Peter returned to his seat and Sam felt Steve's muscles relax beside him.  
"I think we should at least tell him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like this unlikely pairing. I will defend this until I'm dead, OkAy?


	12. Fight me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve fight each other and make an embarrassing scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall. This is mostly smut okay?

The next morning Sam and Steve walked into the arena with Bucky in tow.  
Peter smiled at Bucky as he walked by.   
Tony greeted them. "I guess I'll be making an extra suit then?"   
Bucky smiled at that and they got to work. Basically Peter and Bucky were fighting hand to hand just to make sure they were prepared if it came down to it. Tony and Sam stood by to watch as Peter took on Steve and Bucky, Nat.   
Steve had Peter in no time. But Bucky put up a fight with Natasha. Next Natasha took on Peter leaving Bucky and Steve to fight it out. After his first defeat Peter put up a better fight with Natasha, but without being able to utilize his webs he couldn't best her.  
Everyone watched while Steve and Bucky went head to head. They'd trained together and fought each other and still play fought often. Each of them could predict the move the other would make before they even made it. After a 10 minute struggle Steve managed to get Bucky restrained. But bucky swept Steve's legs and they went down together. Steve wasn't giving up his grip on Bucky and they rolled around neither one willing to give up. Steve was on his back with Bucky on top of him. One arm wrapped around his neck. Bucky smiled as he could feel Steve's hardness pressing against him. He ground his hips back into Steve who audibly moaned. Quickly he recovered, stifling the sound of pleasure with a grunt. Bucky chuckled. They were both taking a moment to catch their breath, at a stalemate. Bucky kept wiggling his hips against Steve. "You..." was all Steve could get out between breaths.  
"You're a pervert Steve Rogers." Bucky whispered back.   
He picked up on exactly what Bucky was doing. Bucky managed to get his chin tucked enough to bite Steve on the arm. Steve pulled his arm back but felt Bucky trying to slip out and put both his arms around Bucky's abdomen and interlocked them.   
Bucky let out a yelp, feeling the pressure of Steve's hands on his bladder.   
"Two can play that game Rogers." Bucky relaxed on top of Steve and let the warmth run out of him. Steve could feel it on his crotch.   
"Bucky." Steve growled into his ear.   
But Bucky was already moving again. Squirming to make it look as though he was trying to break Steve's grip. But Steve knew. He knew exactly what Bucky was up to. Sam cleared his throat loudly but neither of them paid it any attention. As Bucky’s movements got more rapid Steve couldn't hold back any longer. In what looked like a final struggle Steve thrust his hips upward toward Bucky grinding hard into the rapidly cooling padding and Bucky pushed against him. Steve let out a noise, panting against Bucky's neck. Bucky submitted, he'd had his fun. He let Steve twist their bodies around until Bucky was on his front and Steve knelt beside him.   
They were both weak and exhausted. Bucky stayed a while on his hands and knees catching his breath as Steve stood, putting his hands on his hips and breathing through his mouth.   
"Wow. Did you see that Mr. Stark? That was incredible." Peter was beaming.   
"Not bad." Tony said. "Not sure what happened there at the end but, not bad."   
Steve offered a hand to Bucky and helped him to his feet.


	13. New friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Peter discover they have something in common.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will literally die fighting for this friendship. Okay?!

The next morning Peter and Bucky were up before everyone else. They were in the atrium when Peter suggested a run.   
"Why not?" Bucky shrugged.  
There was a track up above the arena. They laced up and jogged at a nice easy pace for a while. But when Peter started to pull ahead Bucky’s competitive drive kicked in. They spent the next few laps alternating between first and second place. Eventually exhausted Bucky gave up and dropped back, slowing to a walk. Peter stopped as well.   
"Good race." He said hip checking Bucky.  
The obvious crinkle of a diaper echoed across the quiet arena.   
Bucky blushed and pulled away.   
"Did you hear that?" Peter looked around.   
"Nope. Probably nothing." Bucky picked up his pace.   
"No, I definitely heard something." Peter went to the edge of the railing.   
"Do you think someone's here?"   
Bucky didn't answer.   
"But I didn't hear it until."   
Then Peter stopped and his face turned red. He looked at bBucky for a moment. Bucky's breath quickened.  
"It was nothing kid."   
"Are... are you...?" Peter stammered.   
Bucky grabbed him.   
"You didn't hear anything. You don't know anything."   
Peter reached a hand out to Bucky's hip. Bucky threw him to the ground. His grip tightened around Peter's throat.  
"You don't know anything. You can't prove anything."  
Peter scrambled under Bucky.   
"No." He gasped.  
Bucky felt Peter's hand on his own leg.  
"Look." He choked out.   
Bucky loosened his grip and looked at Peter's hand. He had rolled down his waistband to reveal his own padding.   
Bucky looked seriously at Peter.   
"Mr. Stark." He rubbed his throat. "It's a thing... Mr. Stark..." he couldn't find the right words. "Steve?" He asked Bucky who only nodded.   
Moments later they were no longer graveling on the track. Instead they were sitting beside each other, leaned against the wall.   
"It all started when I had an accident in the lab. He joked that he should put me in padding. I guess at the time it was only a joke but then things changed. I don't know. I push myself too far sometimes but it feel kind of... good..."  
"Safe." Bucky responded.   
"Sam too." Bucky added.   
"Oh..." Peter nodded. Neither of them had ever spoken about this out loud and it felt extremely awkward.   
"I'm sorry." Peter said. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I just... Its just... no one else here understands. It's this big secret and I'm always hiding and afraid and ashamed when it happens."   
Bucky nodded.   
After a few more moments Peter spoke up. "What if we don't have to be?"  
Bucky looked at him.  
"Ashamed I mean."   
Bucky looked away.  
"No, think about it. I mean what's the shame? Everyone has their thing right? At least we aren't into feet or something weird."  
"You think this is normal?"   
"Well, no maybe not. But... but now there's two of us. And we don't have to hide from each other. I don't know. It just feels good to not feel like such a..."   
"freak." Bucky inserted the final word.   
Peter nodded and looked down at his hands. He was fiddling with his thumbs and Bucky's foot was tapping rapidly.   
"Have you ever..." Peter raised his eyebrows. "With anyone other than Steve or Sam?"   
"Not on purpose. Not so they would know." Bucky answered. "You?"   
Peter only shook his head and wrung his hands.   
"D- do you... would you.. ever, I mean..." Peter stammered.   
"I don't know. It's hard for me. Without them to tell me, its difficult."   
Peter nodded again.   
"What about you?"  
He shrugged "I'm not sure. But if we keep sitting here I might not have any other choice." He admitted turning bright red.   
Bucky noticed his own tapping foot and responded with his head down. "Me too."   
"Maybe we just don't think about it. Maybe we just sit here and we laugh about something else and we don't feel bad about this." Peter took Bucky's hand.   
Bucky liked his new friend and so he was willing to oblige him.   
They weren't sure what to talk about so they sat in silence a while.   
"Do they tell you when?" Peter inquired.   
"I thought we weren't going to think about it." Bucky gritted his teeth.   
"Right. Yeah. I'm sorry."   
"No, it's okay. Usually they do. Yes. You?"   
"Umm, sometimes. It depends on Mr. Stark. Sometimes he tells me to, sometimes it just happens. I tend to get really into working on something and not pay attention to myself." Peter's eyes sparkled when talking about his pseudo father.   
"I guess I need both. I've spent my life being told what to do and how and when. It just feels natural now. So they do that for me. And when I feel bad and ashamed they take care of me and make me feel safe and comfortable."   
Peter's legs were shaking as Bucky ended his sentence.   
"It's pretty bad?" Bucky asked.   
Peter turned the darkest red bucky has ever seen.   
"Me too. I'm just better at hiding it." He held up his clenched metal fist.   
"I don't think I can hold it actually."   
Peter started to look like he was feeling bad. This made Bucky feel bad too, but not in that way, just bad for Peter. He wanted him to feel good. Bucky liked making his friends feel good. So he took Peter's hand and he put it on the front of his own diaper and he put his hand on Peter's padding.  
"Bucky, what...?"   
Before Bucky could second guess what he was doing he let a little pee out into the diaper. Peter sighed when he felt the warmth on his hand. His head tipped back against the wall and his eyes closed partially. Bucky felt Peter relax beside him and the diaper swelled quickly under his hand.  
"Oh no." Peter whispered. But bucky hushed him.   
"Its okay."  
Peter smiled and nodded at Bucky before allowing the flood gates to open.  
Bucky could hear the hiss and splatter in Peter's diaper and it made him lose control completely. They both sat there, pissing into their padding together panting. Occasionally one of them would let out a small moan in relief. Once they had finished they waddled back down to the common area. Peter tiptoed to his room not wanting to be seen and Bucky made sure to walk past Steve and Sam so they would know he needed something. They met him at their room as Peter's voice called down the hall.  
"Mr. Stark! I need a little help with something!"


	14. Tell the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony, Steve and Sam have some suspicions. Peter and Bucky are sworn to secrecy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK, everyone is gay?

Peter and Bucky began spending more and more time together. Steve and Sam were shocked at first but they grew to really like their new friendship. That is until they started having some questions. The shy smiles they would share during a game of chess. The way they always offered to fight each other during training exercises. But mostly, the fact that Bucky was having consistent accidents without getting all panicky or showing any signs at all was what made them the most confused.   
Bucky’s stomach flipped when Steve shut the bedroom door and said "we need to talk."   
Sam exited the bathroom with some restraints in his hands.   
"Sam's going to take the lead this time." Steve said, making his way to Bucky.  
"You know your safe word if you need to use it." Steve took off Bucky's shirt and pants and pushed him onto the bed, he meant business.  
Sam pulled the rope tightly around Bucky’s ankles, then his wrists.   
Steve stepped back and Sam took his place on the bed.   
"We need you to tell us what's been going on Buck." Sam started, tracing a finger down Bucky’s chest.   
"What do you mean?" Bucky twisted against the restraints. 

Tony was in his lab with Peter. They were quietly doing their own thing when Tony interrupted Peter.   
"So you seem to be having quite the fun time around here lately." Peter looked up when Tony made his way to him.   
"Well, yeah... I guess..." Peter stammered. "There’s a lot going on you know and..."   
"Yeah, and it almost seems like you're having such a good time you've forgotten what we're doing here."   
"No Mr. Stark of course I haven't."   
"Well." Was all Tony said.   
"Well?" Peter looked up at Tony.   
"I just noticed you spending a lot of time with a certain winter soldier."   
"Oh. No. Mr. Stark. It's not like that. We're friends we just have -"   
"Have what?"   
Peter went back to tinkering with something.   
"What? Nothing." Peter's voice raised a pitch.   
"Peter..." 

"C'mon Buck. You know exactly what we mean. Do we have to punish you for lying?" Bucky’s eyes got wide.   
For a brief moment he flashed back to his time with hydra. When he refocused Sam was putting a water bottle up to his mouth.   
"Drink."   
Steve was standing in the corner, one arm crossed over his chest the other hand rubbing at the back of his neck. Bucky looked at him and blinked. Trying to keep his vision on Steve and not fading to visions of hydra.   
"I'm not lying. I don't - I just cant..."

Tony gripped Peter by the elbow.   
"Kid." He switched into the voice. "Come on. We need to talk."   
Tony pulled Peter to his room. He closed the door behind them.   
"What are you doing peter?"   
"What do you mean?"   
"Something’s up. You need to tell me what's going on." Tony took off his watch and sat on the bed. He patted the space beside him welcoming Peter to join him. Peter sat and looked forward.  
"I can’t say Mr. Stark."   
"You know I can’t accept that Peter."   
He rolled up his sleeves and took Peter over his legs. "Last chance, kid."   
Peter closed his eyes and whispered. "I cant." 

Bucky had finished off his second water bottle and Sam was still drilling him with questions. Bucky wasn’t giving any answers. He just kept saying he couldn't tell them. Bucky could see Steve whenever he turned his head to the side. Steve had moved to biting his nails. Sam was coming down hard on Bucky and his flashbacks were coming more frequently.   
He would shut his eyes and try to force the memories from his mind. The visions of dark rooms and soldiers laughing at him while he was restrained. The things they would say to him when he couldn't - when he lost control.   
"Bucky." Sam's voice was stern.   
"No. No." Bucky shook his head and closed his eyes. He pulled against the restraints and his breath quickened.   
"Sam." Steve lurched forward. "We need to stop."   
"He knows his word. He can stop if he needs to."  
Steve shook his head. "I dont think it's a good idea. I think we should stop."   
Bucky whined. "Sam. Please."   
Bucky inhaled suddenly and his eyes opened wide.   
"I'm sorry." He began sobbing. "I'm sorry I couldn't hold it any longer."  
They watched as the white padding turned yellow. Steve went to undo the restraints. Sam put a hand on his chest.   
"Sam. He doesn't know where he is right now. That's enough."   
Steve pulled away and untied Bucky. He pulled him into his lap and rocked gently back and forth.   
"Bucky. Hey. Its Steve. It's not real okay? It's just me and Sam here. You're okay."   
Bucky closed his eyes tight and just felt Steve's arms around him. His warmth against him.  
"Steve." He whispered. "Sorry. I'm so sorry."   
"Shh. Its okay."   
Sam came to them and rubbed Bucky’s arm. "Do you want to talk about Peter now?"   
Bucky nodded.   
"Come here." Sam whispered, opening his arms. Bucky laid his head in Sam's lap.   
"He... he also... he and Tony sometimes..." Bucky struggled to find the words. "They're like us." He finally managed to get out. "I shouldn't have said. He wont forgive me."   
"Does he know? About us?" Steve asked more concerned now.   
Bucky nodded. "I'm sorry." He sobbed into Sam's lap.   
"No. It's okay." 

Peter was thankful to have padding between Tony's hand and his skin in these times. He could be heavy handed. "I can’t tell you Mr. Stark really. I like Bucky and he would be embarrassed if I told. I mean I'm ashamed of -" he realized he'd said too much.   
"Ah. I see. So you're ashamed of this?" Tony put Peter on his back and pressed hard on his abdomen. He’d been holding nearly half the day, waiting for the right moment. And Tony was about to take advantage of that.   
"Oh, no. Mr. Stark I can't. Ah." A moan and a sigh were followed by the crinkle sound of Peter's expanding diaper.   
"Bucky’s going to..." another moan. "Hate me now..." 

The next morning Bucky and Peter stayed in their rooms.   
"Where’s the kid?" Bruce inquired noticing Peter's absence.   
Tony shrugged. "Must not be feeling well today."   
Steve avoided eye contact with Tony when he came to the kitchen. There was a notable tension. Natasha cleared her throat in the awkward silence that ensued.   
Finally Steve walked toward the hall. "Tony. Can I have a word?"   
Tony followed him down the hall. They stopped and finally faced each other. Steve crossed his arms.   
"You know." They both blurted out.   
"What?" Steve asked.   
"You first." Tony nodded.   
"The kid told you..." Steve concluded.   
"Yeah and I guess the winter soldier filled you in."   
Steve nodded.   
"This dies with us." Tony looked at Steve with intensity.  
"Absolutely. They uh... they might need some time."   
"Yeah. The kid’s pretty bent up about sharing Bucky's secret."   
"Bucky too."   
"Well, I'll work on getting everyone out for the day. Give them some space."  
Steve nodded and thanked Tony before moving past him.


	15. The Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is the key to fixing Bucky and Peter's relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all have haters. Whatcha gonna do? I'm still defending this friendship (with benefits now?) with my life. Also instead of calling myself trash per usual or the creative dumpster diver, I and everyone reading and enjoying are now trash pandas. So we like to look at garbage sometimes? We still cute.   
> Yes I am aware that I kink shamed myself. I am sorry if that offends the people sharing this fetish but like, we all feel a little shame right? If not good for you! Also this work is garbage in every sense. The writing is shit because if I'm honest I'm usually writing this whilst masturbating so.........

Steve and Sam were looking over some files at the table when Tony came in.   
"Everyone's gone for the day. Busy work."   
Steve nodded.   
"We'll go talk to him in a bit." Sam said as he flipped through the file in front of him.   
"What should we do?" Tony asked.   
Steve looked up from his paper. "I don’t know, Tony. I don't think they have any guides on this sort of thing."   
Tony inhaled and stopped himself from saying something witty.   
"Look, we'll talk to Bucky, but he feels really bad about betraying Peter. Do you know what would have happened to him if he had -" Steve stopped himself and stood from the table.   
"What's got him in such a huff?" Tony asked Sam.   
"Last night was rough. I might have taken things too far. I don’t know, there’s all this stuff about hydra that I don't know. You know Steve is so protective of Bucky."   
Tony nodded. "The kids pretty afraid of Bucky. I don’t know, he keeps saying he betrayed him. My God how did we end up here?"   
Sam shrugged. "I don’t know man. But I've got to say, I think Steve's the only one who can get us out of this."   
Tony crossed his arms. He knew Sam was right, as much as his pride hated to admit that.   
"I have an idea."   
Steve was in the room with Bucky when Sam ventured in.  
"Hey..." he approached carefully. "You okay?" Bucky nodded. He was still visibly upset. "Buck, I'm sorry if I took things too far last night. You know I don't want to hurt you right? I just wanted to help you."   
Bucky nodded again.   
"Why don't we get up for a little while? I think it'll be good to get out of here, see the sun. Steve and I are going to be with you the whole time okay?"   
Bucky sighed and looked up at Steve who nodded at him. After a moment Bucky got up and pulled on some pants. They left the room and started walking down the hall.   
Sam lead them to a small room that looked like an interrogation room.  
"Will you come in here with us? I want to show you something." Sam opened the door and let Steve and Bucky in then closed it and keyed in the lock code.   
"Sam. What the hell?" Steve called from the other side of the door as he banged on it.   
Bucky looked around and saw no escape. He started to panic. Steve wasn't made aware of this plan and his instincts started to kick in. He went to Bucky and wrapped his arms around him as they sank to the floor. "Hey. It's okay. This is probably just some game Sam wants to play alright?"   
"No." Bucky struggled for air. "No, I'm being punished. I was bad. I lied and then I betrayed Peter's trust and now I'm going to be punished."   
"No, bucky. None of that was bad or wrong. You're not getting punished. I promise. Hey. Do you think I would let that happen?"   
Bucky looked at Steve and shook his head.  
"No. Do you think Sam would?"   
"No."  
Bucky’s voice was quiet but Sam could hear their discussion. He felt relief knowing Bucky wasn't too scared of him. He was definitely going to back off for a while after last night. After about 5 minutes Tony came with Peter in tow.  
"Mr. Stark. I don’t understand what -"   
He turned pale when he saw Sam. "Mr. Uh. Falcon. Sir." He stammered.   
"I told you Peter. You have something to do today." Tony nudged him toward the door.   
Sam opened it and Tony encouraged Peter in before locking it again.   
Sam and Tony took their seats behind the 2 way glass in the room. They watched as Peter banged on the door.   
"No. Mr. Stark. I'm sorry I told. Please." Peter turned and looked at Bucky who was on the ground with Steve. "Mr. America." Peter smiled at him.  
"It’s just Steve, kid."   
"Oh, right, okay."   
Bucky tensed as Peter drew closer to them. Peter had his hands out in front of him as Bucky curled himself as tightly as he could.   
"Bucky..." Peter knelt down.   
"I'm sorry." Bucky gritted his teeth. "I’m sorry please don't." He hid his face in his arms.   
"Don't what?" Peter put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky pulled away.  
"Don’t. I'm sorry. I didn’t have any choice. They... they made me tell." He rocked on his heels.   
"Oh... no. Mr. Stark made me tell too. I didn’t want to, I'm not mad at you."   
"Bucky." Steve put his hand between Bucky’s shoulder blades. "Look, Peter isn't mad at you okay? He’s not going to hurt you."   
"No. No. Of course not. I was afraid you wanted to fight me now."   
Bucky looked up at Peter finally. "No. You’re... you're not good enough to fight me." He laughed.   
Steve smiled.  
Peter hugged Bucky around the neck.   
"Okay." Steve stood and looked at the window. "You can let us out now. They've made peace."  
But Sam and Tony had their own little game planned.   
"Hmm... I'm not sure Steve. I think maybe they need another lesson." Tony said over the intercom. "Now I know Peter hasn't been to the bathroom all morning."   
"And I know Bucky’s got to be feeling pretty stressed right about now." Sam added.   
Peter and Bucky were horrified. No way could Bucky let Tony see that side of him. And Peter didn’t ever do this with anyone other than Tony and now occasionally Bucky.   
"Oh no." Peter whispered as he slid down the wall beside Bucky. "No. Mr. Stark. I can’t. Not like this."   
"Well kid. I don’t see you have any choice."   
Steve leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. He looked between both of them.   
"Are you..." He started clumsily. "Are you wearing..." he asked Peter.   
He nodded shyly.   
"Well. Okay. That's good. You don't need to worry then."   
Steve felt uncomfortable. He didn’t imagine ever being in this situation. Sam would owe him for this one. Steve sat in front of them and started to make small talk. After about 10 minutes passed both Peter and Bucky were starting to get fidgety. Steve leaned closer to them.   
"You know we get to leave when this is all over, right?"   
"I cant Steve. He'll see me." Bucky whispered looking at the glass.   
"I think that's the point buck."   
Peter was silent and Steve didn’t know how to comfort him. He had minimal contact with the kid until now. But when he saw Peter really struggling he slid himself between them, putting an arm around each.   
"Hey kid. I know this is difficult. But you can’t hurt yourself like this okay? You too Buck. This is going to happen. They aren’t letting us out anytime soon. And I don't want to see you hurting."   
He took each of their hands. "Would it help to do it together?"   
They looked at each other and nodded.   
"Come here." He pulled his hands from their vice grips and put his legs out straight. Bucky straddled Steve's left leg and Steve encouraged Peter to do the same on the right. Peter hesitated.  
"You can trust me kid. It’s okay." Steve reached out to each of them and pressed on their abdomens. Bucky inhaled sharply and tensed up when the first drops escaped him.  
"That's it buck. It's okay. Just let it out. You're so good."   
Steve's words seemed to work on peter too who had let his knees drift a little further apart. Steve pressed again on their abdomens and Bucky slumped forward on Steve panting against his neck. Steve kissed his hair as he felt the swell in Bucky's padding.  
"You're so good buck."   
Peter was looking down and turning bright red. "I don’t think I can hold it anymore."   
Steve pulled him forward, resting him on the opposite shoulder. "You’re good too kid. Okay? It's okay, you don’t have to hold it any longer."  
The forward motion proved too much for Peter and Steve felt the warmth spread across both his thighs now.   
"Thank you Mr. America." Peter whispered.  
Steve held them both for a little while. He started noticing his own body and it's current needs. But he thought better of it, seeing how it wasn’t just him and Bucky. What really set him off was feeling the few leaks that dripped down his pants. Bucky knew what he was doing and reached down to feel Steve through his pants. Steve put his head back and moaned. Then he felt a second hand. His breathing hitched and his hips bucked up against the hands that were moving in chaotic unison against his crotch. He brought his own hands to the front of each of them, finding them both at his disposal. He pressed a firm flat hand against the padding and let them move as they wished.   
After one final inhale Steve let out a sound that Bucky had never heard before. He and Peter quickened their pace and fell over the edge as well.   
The door beeped as Sam entered the lock code and let them out. Tony immediately dragged Peter away to his room. Steve helped Bucky up and went to Sam.   
"Sorry Rogers. You know I had to."   
"Yeah, yeah." He elbowed Sam and followed Bucky off to their room.


	16. Reward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Peter get rewarded and have a little fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having fun with this little ship I've created. Please warm up to it, there's more.

In light of all the preparations and stress lately Tony, Steve, and Sam decided to take Peter and Bucky out. They'd had a rough few days and it seemed the right thing to do to let them relax.   
They decided to go to a movie. The theater was pretty empty actually and the 5 of them took their seats toward the back. Half way into the movie Bucky started fidgeting in his seat. Peter leaned over to Tony and whispered.   
"Hey mr. Stark I've really got to go."   
Steve took note and leaned forward.   
"I'll go with them." He said to Tony.   
They followed Steve out of the theater and to the bathroom. Much to their dismay there was a line. They took their place and waited. Steve looked at his phone for a while hoping this line would move a little faster. Bucky and Peter were trying to be subtle but it was getting progressively harder to do so. There was only one person in front of them when a few drops leaked out of Bucky. He gasped and looked down quickly.   
"You okay?" Steve asked, keeping his voice quiet.   
Bucky didn't move, didn't say anything.   
"You can't see it, its okay." Peter quickly informed Bucky.   
The person in front of them took his place at the urinal. The door to the one stall in the bathroom opened up and Peter and Bucky quickly made their way inside. Steve waited for them outside, looking at his phone to avoid eye contact with anyone at the urinal. Peter was unzipping his pants as he made his way to the bowl but Bucky was frozen. Peter doubled back and grabbed Bucky's arm.   
"Come on."   
They were standing in front of the toilet unzipping and unbuttoning as fast as their fingers could.   
The other people cleared out of the bathroom and Steve went to the stall door. In the cool air, they both started peeing instantly. They sighed in unison and Steve could hear Peter let out a little moan.   
They shook out the last few drops and out of sheer curiosity Peter reached a hand over to Bucky.   
Bucky grew at Peter's touch. Following Peter's lead Bucky took him into his hand, running it the full length. He swirled a finger around Peter's tip, using the precum that had formed as lubrication. Peter did the same and soon they were twisting and pulling at a rapid rate.   
Steve knocked on the door. "You boys okay?"   
Bucky tipped his head back.   
Peter let out a shaky "mmhmm."   
Steve smiled. "Troublemakers," He said under his breath.   
Peter stifled a moan when he came but Bucky wasn't as successful. The sound just came out of him without warning. It echoed in the empty tiled room.   
Steve was leaning against the wall, arms crossed when they came out of the stall. As they washed their hands Steve went to open the door.   
"Better?" He asked.   
They both nodded following him out.


	17. Duo Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Peter go on a mission together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to try something new here, not sure that it's working but why not?

Tony was sending Peter and Bucky out on their own. Despite Steve’s protesting it was happening. Tony and Sam thought Bucky was ready. And Peter had been on his own before. Bucky would have peter right there. He would be fine, he assured Steve. He was actually excited Tony trusted him enough. It wasn’t anything too crazy. Someone had been causing trouble in the city. Peter knew the city well enough and they had both made improvements in training sessions lately.  
Tony hadn’t quite finished a suit for Bucky but he assured them it was fine. Steve and Tony would be going to the city in case Peter and Bucky needed back up, but they were staying out of it unless they were called in. Tony equipped each of them with a headset. Bucky secured his weapons tightly as Peter checked his suit. They were ready.  
Peter and Bucky were camped out on the roof of an apartment building.  
“Are you ready for this?”  
Bucky was still surprised to see the mask on Peter.  
“I guess so. Been a while.”  
Peter stood from the crouch he was in. “That way.” He pointed a couple buildings over.  
They started off running, leaping from building to building until they got to the right one. They checked the entrances of the building from the roof. Bucky joined Peter at the east side of the building.  
“All clear.”  
Peter nodded. “Let the fun begin.”  
Bucky smiled at him. They grabbed hold of each other and ran to the edge of the building. After a few seconds of freefall Peter shot a web at the ledge of the building. They caught in the air and swung at a window. With his free hand Bucky pulled a gun from the clip at his waist. They broke through the glass and landed on the ground. Back to back they looked around the warehouse. There was no one there, not a sound. At least not one a regular person could hear. But Peter Parker was not a normal person. And his spidey senses told him something was there. Peter joined Bucky at his side and nodded at a stack of crates in front of them. Bucky cocked the gun as quietly as he could. A masked figure in a black and red suit stepped out from behind the crates.  
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”  
“Who are you?” Peter called across the room.  
The figure stepped toward them. Bucky drew his gun up to his shoulder.  
“I’m just saying. That isn’t going to touch me.”  
“He asked you a question.” Bucky narrowed his eyes.  
“Wow.” The guy behind the mask said. “Well aren’t you handsome.”  
Bucky blushed a little but remained focused.  
“Okay, well if you insist, we’ll just skip the foreplay and get right down to business. I assume you’re here to kill me.”  
Bucky put a finger on the trigger, aiming the cross hairs at the stranger's chest as he approached them. Bucky squeezed the trigger, knocking the red and black guy back.  
Peter looked at Bucky. “What-?”  
“He was getting too close.”  
They were interrupted by the figure standing back up. “Woo! Nothing like a little gunshot wound to kick start the day. Amiright? Well, I guess we’re going to have a little fun after all.”  
Drawing each of the Katanas from his back and breaking into a full run the masked stranger was not what they expected. Bucky emptied a full clip into the man who was relentless.  
Tony and Steve heard Peter’s voice come over their ear pieces. “Uh.. Mr. Stark. We have a situation here.”  
“Where are you kid?” Tony answered. “We’re on our way.”  
Bucky put up a fight hand to hand with the man as peter attempted to get him from behind. He was quick though, too quick. What’s more was he used Bucky and Peter against each other. Somehow he was able to get them wrapped up in Peter’s web. They strained against each other, tied back to back.  
“There.” The man sat down beside them and rested his chin in his hands. “Now we can have a little chat. To answer your earlier question I’ve got to say I’m a little offended you don’t know who I am. Name’s Deadpool.”  
He reached out and removed Peter’s Mask. “Oh my. You have a wonderful face. Why do you cover it? Most people with masks look like me.” He took off his own mask.  
Bucky cringed at the sight. “Oh sure. I may not look as good as this guy, but don’t underestimate me. I can lay the pipe if you know what I mean.”  
Bucky clenched his jaw. “What do you want Deadpool?”  
“Well. I just want to have a little fun.” He pushed a piece of Bucky’s hair from his face.  
Bucky closed his eyes and tried to keep a grip on reality. Deadpool’s words brought him back to Hydra. Peter felt Bucky’s breath quicken.  
“Oh the fun I could have with two pretty boys like you.” Deadpool laughed.  
Bucky’s muscles twitched his vision was going black at the edges.  
“Bucky.” Peter whispered.  
“Bucky is it?” Deadpool observed. “And what do I call you sweetheart?” He looked to Peter.  
“I.. uh.. I’m…” Peter stammered.  
Sweetheart. The word made Bucky think about Steve. Steve! He would be here soon. Steve would come save them.  
Deadpool touched Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky reeled at his touch pushing himself away. In the process he also dragged Peter back with him.  
Peter cried out as the ropes dug into him.  
“Oh. Is someone shy?” Deadpool teased.  
Deadpool put his hand on Bucky’s thigh. “It’s okay. I’ll be gentle.”  
He stopped when he felt the thick padding on Bucky’s groin.  
“Oh. What do we have here? Kinky.”  
A low growl started in Bucky’s chest growing into a yell and escaping his lips. Sweat formed on his forehead. His body was warm, Peter could feel it radiating off him.  
“Hey buddy.” Peter kept his voice calm. “You.. You okay?”  
Bucky was breathing hard pushing against the restraints.  
“I like them feisty.” Deadpool resumed his position with his chin in his hands. “I could look at you all day. We’re going to have a lot of fun.”  
No sooner did he say that Steve and Tony burst through the door. Noticing the shield Deadpool gasped.  
“Captain America?!” He jumped up. “If you’re here to save me, it’s okay. I took care of them. I am just the biggest fan."  
Deadpool was walking toward Steve pulling out a keychain with a figurine of Captain America on it. Steve eyed Bucky pulling against the netting he was wrapped in. In a swift motion he knocked deadpool out with his shield and walked past him to Bucky and Peter.  
“Deal with him.” He called over his shoulder to Tony.  
He untied Bucky and Peter and helped them up.  
“He’s stronger than he looks Mr. Stark.” Peter stretched out his arms.  
“And he won’t die.” Bucky cracked his neck.  
“Are you okay?” Steve put both his hands on Bucky’s shoulders. Bucky nodded and watched as Tony cuffed Deadpool for good measure.  
“Do you know who he is?” Steve asked Tony as they lifted Deadpool and dragged him outside.  
“I think I have some idea.” Tony said.  
They dragged Deadpool to the Jet and strapped him into a seat. After they were in the air for a few minutes Deadpool came to.  
“Hey man. This is so not cool.”  
Peter was in the seat next to Tony who was piloting the jet and Steve was in the back with Bucky. Out of the corner of his eye Deadpool saw Steve pat Bucky a little on the bottom, an obvious check to make sure Bucky was still dry.


	18. You broke Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool causes some trouble leaving Peter to pick up the pieces of his new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just having fun with this at this point >.<   
> I am a whole dumpster fire at this point.

Steve and Tony and the others split up to find someplace to send Deadpool. Currently he was on house arrest at HQ.   
Bucky wanted to lay low for the day and Peter offered to stay with him. He would have preferred Steve or Sam stay because he was starting to feel a bit like he was spiralling . But Peter would do.  
Bucky had spent the morning in his room when Peter came knocking with some tea and muffins. He sat on the bed where Bucky was curled up and encouraged him to eat and drink. Reluctantly Bucky took small bites of the muffin and drank the whole cup of tea. Peter sat beside him and picked at his own muffin. After a little while Bucky laid his head in Peter's lap. Peter took to stroking Bucky's hair. He turned on the TV to fill in the silence. A war documentary came on and noticing Bucky's shift in breathing Peter thought it better to turn the channel. They settled on some old sitcom reruns. Bucky dozed in and out of sleep. Visions of dark rooms and hydra agents flashed through his dreams.   
He whimpered in his sleep and Peter squeezed his shoulder. He felt helpless. He didn't know anything about Bucky's past. But he assumed it wasn't good.   
Deadpool opened the door to the room.  
"Do you guys have any food here or what? I know you're all probably on some weird diet to get so hot." He winked at Peter. "But I've got to eat something. Come on I'm wasting away here." He feigned passing out.   
"Shh." Peter hissed looking at Bucky.   
Bucky stirred in his sleep, clenching his muscles. In his dream he was strung up watching a leaky faucet. Hydra had fed him water all day and now they were waiting to watch him piss himself. This was what they did for fun. When he ultimately lost control they'd laugh and call him names. Mostly he didn't understand what they were saying but he knew it was degrading.   
"Aww how precious." Deadpool came to the edge of the bed.   
"He's having a nightmare." Peter looked at Bucky who was whining. "And if you wake him you'll have him to deal with."   
"Yeah." Wade scoffed. "I saw what he did before. I'm so scared."   
Bucky woke up with the first leak. His vision was hazy at first but when he looked around the room he saw Peter trying to shoo Deadpool out of the room. Bucky growled. This guy again. In his dream induced anger Bucky sprang from the bed and onto wade who toppled over. Bucky's bladder was now voiding itself into his padding. He was straddling wade struggling against his body. He got in a good hit to Wade's jaw before he became really coherent.   
"Are… are you…?" Wade looked at Bucky's groin.   
Bucky turned bright red and rolled off wade scrambling to the closet.   
"Wow." Wade shook his head. "I think I just had a weird awakening. That was… huh. Did not expect that to do anything to me."   
"Go. Please." Peter pointed at the door.   
Wade left promptly and Peter sat outside the closet trying to coax Bucky out. He opened the door and tried to join Bucky but Bucky kept his head on his knees. His shoulders shook as he took in ragged breaths.   
"Steve." He kept saying.   
"You want Steve? I'll try to see if I can find him." Peter put a hand on Bucky's back but Bucky shrugged him off.   
"Shit. Shit." Peter was pacing in the kitchen trying to call Sam or Steve or Tony or anyone.   
"What's the big deal?" Wade was shoving whatever food he could find in his mouth.   
"What's -" Peter stopped pacing. "You… you broke Bucky!"   
When he couldn't reach anyone's phone Peter went to the control room. He pushed a button and talked into the mic. "H- hi.. is anybody there?"   
"I'm here kid. What's up?" Clint was the first to respond.   
"Oh, just checking on an ETA for your return."   
"Uh.. we're probably about 20 out. Everything okay?"   
"Um, yeah. It's just a small thing. It's okay."   
Steve gave Sam a concerned look. "We'll be there as soon as we can." He talked into the headset.   
Peter returned to Bucky's room and sat outside the closet.   
"Hey Buck… they said they'd be like 20 more minutes. I'll sit here with you til then okay?"   
"K." Bucky sniffled from behind the door.   
Peter sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. "I'm going back home soon. Mr. Stark said some unknown force neutralized the threat before it even reached our atmosphere. So that's pretty cool I guess."   
Home. Bucky thought of the apartment. That's all he wanted. To go back home with Steve and Sam. To have things return to normal. He was overwhelmed, overstimulated, exhausted, and embarrassed. Too many things had changed recently and he just wanted a bit of normal.   
"I'm going to miss it here though. I like being around everyone. It makes being in school kind of boring."   
Bucky was thankful for Peter talking. It was mundane and peaceful. His breathing finally calmed.   
Peter talked the full 20 minutes until Bucky could hear the door open. The voices were muffled outside the door.   
"What happened Pete?" Steve bounded in. "Wade. I don't know he broke Bucky. He was asleep, dreaming I guess. Then he woke up and Wade was in here and I guess he hadn't fully woke up. He jumped on wade and then wade felt something." He made his eyes big but Steve and Sam understood. Tony was standing in the doorway, arms crossed.   
"He just went in there and he was panicking. I didn't know what to do he was asking for you so that's when I called. I just came in here and sat and talked to him. I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do."   
"Its okay. You did the best you could. You did everything right." Steve squeezed his shoulder. He and Sam sat on the floor and opened the door.   
"Hey Buck." Sam reached out a hand. "Its me and Steve. Can you come out?"   
Peter joined Tony who put an arm on Peter. "You did good kid."   
Bucky snuck out of the closet and curled into Steve and Sam.   
"Come on." Tony steered Peter out of the room. "Let's give them some space."


	19. Goodbyes are hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Bucky part ways for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all fluff and the best friendship I can ever conceive.

Steve and Sam were finally able to get Bucky cleaned up and in bed. Between them he barely moved at all the whole night. He fought sleep. He didn't want to see them. Hydra, Wade, all of them haunted his dreams. Steve and Sam didn't sleep much either. They stayed awake to keep an eye on him. Sam slept first while Steve stayed up talking to Bucky.   
"We're going home tomorrow. Do you like that?"   
Bucky nodded. "No outings? Just home?"   
"Yeah." Steve played with a lock of Bucky's hair. "Just us. Just home."  
Steve felt warm thinking of Bucky calling his place home. He hadn't thought much about it, but he had a home with Bucky and Sam. He pulled Bucky to him.  
"You should sleep now."   
Bucky shook his head. "I don't want to."   
"Dreams?"   
Bucky nodded against his chest.   
"Its okay Buck. I'm here, Sam's here. We're going to take care of you. We'll always take care of you." Steve kissed Bucky's forehead.   
After Steve drifted off Sam woke up to Bucky curling against him. He rolled to his back putting his arm under Bucky's head.   
"Can't sleep?"   
Bucky shook his head.   
"Yeah. I remember sleepless nights too." Sam sighed. "It's hard. You know. There's a lot of back and forth. But eventually you heal. Not completely but little by little."   
Bucky listened to Sam talk. His voice was so soothing. Steve was lightly snoring behind him. For a few moments things felt alright.   
After a rough night Sam and Steve packed their bags. Bucky watched from the bed. He had the blankets pulled up to his chin. He could hear the whispers.   
"That's the way it is with trauma." Sam said to Steve. "Sometimes it's 2 steps forward and 20 back."   
"Yeah. I know." Steve would answer looking back at Bucky.  
There was a knock on the door. Bucky recognized Tony's voice.  
"How's he doing?"   
Steve stepped partly into the hallway and whispered some things to Tony. Bucky couldn't make out what he was saying. Steve came back in.   
"Hey Buck. There's someone here wants to see you. Is that okay?"   
Bucky sat up and nodded partially. Peter came in holding something in his hand.   
"Hey…" he approached the bed. "May I?"   
Bucky pulled back the blanket and allowed Peter in.   
"I brought you something."  
Tony stood with Steve and Sam watching Bucky and Peter.   
"It's something to remember me by." Peter put the blue and red blanket around Bucky's shoulders. "You know, cuz of my suit…"   
Bucky felt the fabric between his fingers. It was soft like his dolphin.   
"Yeah." He smiled. "Thanks."   
"It's no problem. It's pretty warm, and I know how cold it is in New York." Bucky awkwardly leaned his head on Peter's shoulder.   
"You know who is being taken care of." Tony reported to Steve. "I uh almost had the suit finished. It'll be here when he's ready."   
"Thank you Tony."  
"You know. I'll be back in New York soon too. Maybe I could come by sometime." Peter looked down at Bucky.   
Bucky nodded.   
A few tears gathered in his eyes.   
"Sorry." He whispered inaudibly.   
But he knew Peter heard him. Peter patted Bucky on the knee.   
"Alright." Sam said zipping up the final bag. "That's everything."   
"Ready?" Steve went to the bed and reached out a hand to Bucky. He took it carefully and stood beside Steve, still wrapped in the blanket. Peter put his arms around Bucky.   
"I'll see you -" he wanted to say soon but he didn't want to push Bucky. So he just left it at that.   
"See ya kid." Steve put a hand on Peter's back. "And thanks." He whispered before putting his arm over Bucky's shoulders. Peter went to Tony who put each hand on his shoulders. Steve walked Bucky out and Sam followed with the bags. Tony put his arm around Peter's shoulder and ruffled his hair.   
"You can stay one more night but then you have to go back."   
"Okay Mr. Stark." Peter said obediently. "Can I stay in here for a bit?"   
"Sure. I'll be in the workshop." Tony left Peter alone in the room.


	20. Juxtaposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A split scene finds Peter remembering how this all started and Bucky struggling in the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up friends, it gets weird here.

Peter thought he was dreaming when he saw Wade standing in the room.   
"You again?   
"Woah, woah. I'm sorry."   
Peter rolled his eyes as wade flopped onto the bed beside him.   
"Really though. I am sorry about your friend. What's his deal anyway?"   
Peter shrugged. "He was held captive for years now he's been trying to adjust to normal life - wait why am I telling you anyway. Like you have any right, and interest even."   
"Come on baby boy. Don't be like that. We'll be good friends some day."   
"Don't call me… we won't… ugh." Peter was getting flustered.   
Wade could see that and decided to exploit Peter's weakness.   
"I want you to tell me about these." Wade reached a hand over and pressed on the front of Peter's diaper.   
Peter turned bright red. "You know I could tell Jarvis to get Mr. Stark in here at any time right?"   
"Yeah. Yeah. I know. All this fancy tech and Mr. - ooohh. I get it now."   
"What?" Peter's arms were crossed over his chest.   
"He's- he's your daddy." The last word came out teasingly.   
"No!" Peter jumped to the defense.   
"Ah of all the kinks. But you guys really found a way to spice this one up. I'm not gonna lie. Your friend there really made it appealing. I mean who knew I would get a hard on from someone peeing on me?"   
Well. Probably we could have guessed. The voice in his head reminded him.   
"That's true… we are into some pretty weird things."   
Peter looked around. "Who are you talking to?"   
"Oh." Wade waved a hand. "It's no one really. Just myself."   
"So tell me." Wade lay on his stomach waving his feet in the air. "How did this all start?" 

Bucky was squirming in the backseat of the car. Sam noticed it first and elbowed Steve, nodding toward Bucky.   
"You okay Buck?" Steve asked. He didn't answer, he only wiggled more. Steve glanced in the back to see Bucky shifting his weight, crossing and uncrossing his legs.  
Bucky hadn't felt pain like this from holding in a long time. Not since he first came to be with Steve.   
Gentle wasn't working so Steve reverted back to the way he was when Bucky first told him what he needed.   
"Bucky." Steve's firm voice startled even Sam. "I asked you a question."   
Bucky's eyes met Sam's in the mirror then Steve's. He shook his head.   
"We've got 15 more minutes. I don't think he'll make it." Sam said in a low voice.   
Bucky pulled the blanket tighter around him. He wanted to curl up inside it and hide himself.   
"No." His voice was small.   
Steve turned fully in his chair. "I'm sorry?"   
"No." Bucky said louder.  
Steve looked at Bucky bewildered. "No? No what?"   
"I'm not going. I can't here."   
"Well you don't really have a choice."   
"I'm not." Bucky squeezed his hand on his crotch. "I'm not going to do it. You'll laugh at me. Like they did. Like he did."   
"Like who did?" Steve was actually confused now.   
"Wade. Hydra. All of them. You probably laugh at me every time. A grown man can't even control himself. I'm pathetic." Bucky slammed his fist down on his knee. 

Peter was thinking about the first time. He was working with Tony and he didn't want to admit he needed to be excused. He kept telling himself it was fine. He didn't have to go that bad. He put it out of his mind until it forced its way back in. By the time it did it was too late. A dark spot had appeared on the front of his pants.   
"Uh. Mr. Stark. May I - may I be excused?"   
"Sure kid." Tony didn't even look up from his work. And Peter would have been thankful if that had been the end. But it wasn't.  
When he stood his bladder forced out some more leaks.   
He let out a high pitched moan. Causing Tony to look up.   
"You okay -?" But he didn't finish asking the question. Because as he looked up Peter's knees buckled and he fell to the ground, all the liquid voiding from his body.   
"Jesus. Peter. Why didn't you just?" But Tony softened himself when he saw Peter's tearful eyes.   
"I'm sorry Mr. Stark I thought it was okay. I thought I could make it. I'll clean it up I promise I'm so sorry."   
Tony went to him. "No. Hey. Its okay. We'll get this taken care of. It's not your fault. I probably should have taken a break too." Tony helped Peter up. "Let's get you some clean clothes. I'll have this all taken care of."   
Peter went to the bathroom and Tony made his way to the kitchen. He splashed water on his face.   
Why? Why was he driven crazy by that? The helpless way Peter looked at him was burned into his memory.   
Peter came out to find Tony staring off out the window. He cleared his throat.   
"Geeze kid. If you're going to work that hard we'll have to get you some protection." Tony attempted to joke but stopped when he felt a flutter in his lower abdomen.   
The next time Peter showed up Tony had just that waiting for him.  
"What's this?" Peter turned a bright shade of pink.  
"Well." Tony started. "I did say you might need some protection."   
"No. Mr. Stark I'm so sorry."   
"Shh. Peter. This isn't a punishment. It's a reward."   
Peter half smiled at him.   
"Why don't you try one on?"  
"Would you want to see how it fits?" Peter played along.  
"Would I." Tony winked as Peter took one out of the box and headed to the bathroom.   
He returned without his pants.   
From there it blossomed. Tony would take notice of Peter's desperation and wait to see how long it would take him to let Tony know. Some days he worked so diligently Peter never said anything and Tony could only hear the gentle rush of urine into the diaper.   
As they got more comfortable they tried different things. Peter would sit on Tony's leg when it was really bad. Rubbing against him and whimpering in an attempt to hold back. Sometimes Tony would tell him when to start and stop the stream. Sometimes he would tell Peter not to go or else. He would pin Peter down and press him and tell him to hold it until Peter begged Tony to let him go. When Peter failed to hold it Tony would scoop him up and tell him he was good for trying sometimes he would get a punishment.   
Peter shivered thinking about it, feeling his own bladder getting heavy. 

Steve unbuckled and moved to the backseat with Bucky.   
"We would never Bucky. You're not pathetic. You - you went through something traumatic and you need help dealing with it. That's what we're doing. We're helping you. We like to help, remember?"  
Bucky nodded.   
Steve kissed his temple. "We've got to do something about this. You're hurting yourself and I won't let you do that." Steve gave him the serious face.  
Bucky whined.   
Sam watched them occasionally in the mirror.   
Steve pushed Bucky's legs apart. He leaned forward as the pressure built.  
"Go on Bucky." Steve was not being gentle anymore. "You have to go, go." Bucky shook his head. Steve used his leg to keep Bucky's knees apart and pressed hard on Bucky's bladder. Bucky let out a noise. It all came flooding out of him at once. Steve stroked his hair.  
"Good boy. You're so good for us. Do you feel better?"  
Bucky nodded.   
"Good. We'll be home soon and we'll get you all cleaned up."   
Steve returned to his seat and looked at Sam who checked Bucky in the mirror. He was sweaty and red with embarrassment.   
"My God is he beautiful or what?"   
Steve smiled back at Bucky. "Yes. He is." 

Wade was pinning Peter down. "Come on Spidey. I'm just trying to explore my kinks here."   
"Do it. With. Someone. Else." Peter struggled against the weight of Wade.   
"But you're here and it's been a while if I'm being honest. Come on. Just let out a little?"   
Peter hoped Wade would let him go, otherwise he would have no choice but to give in.   
If he was being honest though he didn't hate Deadpool as much as he pretended. There was something sort of endearing about him, blunt as he was.   
"Please." Peter whispered. "Let me go. Please. I can't… I can't …"   
Wade watched as Peter's expression changed from anger to almost orgasmic. A high pitched moan escaped Peter's throat. Wade felt the warmth spread across his crotch.   
"Oh. Oh wow." He closed his eyes. "This feels... wonderful."   
Wade got what he wanted but Peter wouldn't let him off so easily and he decided to take what he wanted too. In his distracted state wade found Peter on top of him grinding his hips against him. Peter got off fairly quickly and left Wade alone to deal with himself.


	21. Love and Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Sam rewrite the script on Bucky's trauma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know this is not how trauma works but like it's fiction.

Bucky spent the whole first day home in the closet. He took his dolphin and blanket and curled up in the back. He only came out at Sam or Steve's encouragement to eat or drink and even that was minimal. They tried to give him his space. But soon they realized that wasn't working.   
"I don't know what to do." Steve paced in the kitchen. "It hasn't been this bad since I first brought him here. Not even when you first started coming around did he have this hard of a time."   
Sam shrugged. "I don't know Steve. Maybe…" he trailed off. "Maybe we just need to rewrite the script."   
Steve stopped pacing and looked at Sam. He leaned against the counter opposite him.   
"Hear me out. He has memories of hydra right? In these memories he's restrained, he's taken advantage of, and he's embarrassed. What if… what if we changed that? What if we did all that but except instead of shame and fear we give him love and comfort?"   
"I don't know Sam…" Steve hesitated. "What if it just makes it worse?"   
"How could it be any worse than this?"   
Steve sighed and nodded. "I guess we could try."   
They went into the room and closed the door. With the lights dimmed and the curtains drawn it looked about the right mood.   
"Bucky." Steve opened the door. "You need to come out now."   
Bucky covered his face with the blanket.  
"Come on." He was firm, commanding and Bucky listened.  
When he came out Steve took the dolphin and the blanket and tossed them on the bed. Tools for later. Sam grabbed one of Bucky's arms and Steve the other. They cuffed his hands together and hooked them to a bar over the door frame. Sam worked on Bucky's ankles while Steve removed the padding. Bucky pulled against the cold metal cuffs. "No. Why are you…?"   
"Shhh." Sam walked around Bucky. "Trust us."   
"Is this what it was like?" Steve asked Bucky, looking him over. "Is this what they did?"   
Bucky nodded, the chains clinked. The water they'd given him throughout the day should be working soon. Steve and Sam each pulled up a chair. They sat, waiting, watching. Bucky yelled at first straining himself against the cuffs. Then he cried. He tried to pull his legs together. It was to no avail, he was stuck in this position. Legs spread, no protection under his pants, he felt exposed.   
"Why?" He asked. And Steve felt so bad he almost let him down then. But Sam stopped him.   
"We want to show you that we're different Buck." Sam spoke. "We're not hydra. We're here to protect you, to make you feel good."   
"We're here to take care of you. And we're going to take good care of our Bucky."   
"Can you let me down?" He asked pitifully.   
"You know we can't. We can't help you if we don't know how." Sam spoke softly.   
"I can't hold it anymore. Please." He begged. Steve looked away while Sam shook his head.   
Bucky's twisting and turning intensified before the sound of dripping on the floor could be heard.   
Bucky breathed hard closing his eyes tight. "No. Not again." He whispered.   
He waited for laughter but all he could hear was the sound of a key turning. His ankles were freed from the restraints and his hands fell heavy to his sides. He collapsed to the floor but two sets of arms lifted him before he landed.  
"We've got you." Steve said.   
They pulled him to the bathroom removing his wet clothes. Steve sat Bucky on the edge of the tub while Sam ran a cloth under warm water. They took turns cradling his head against their chest and wiping his legs with the cloth. When they were finally done they helped him back into the bedroom and laid him on the bed. Steve retrieved a diaper and put it under Bucky while Sam manned the powder. Once he was cleaned and dried and padded Steve handed him the dolphin and wrapped him in the blanket. Sam brought out some towels and cleaned the puddle on the floor. They both joined him on the bed.   
"See? We're not like them. We love you and we're going to take care of you." Steve kissed Bucky's shoulder.   
"Always." Sam whispered.


	22. Send nudes plz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Bucky have some cyber fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how consistent it is but I've got Steve's apartment in NY somewhere.   
> It's mostly smut.

Bucky started to feel better after the stunt Steve and Sam pulled. Instead of hydra agents he now pictured their faces watching him. When the men in his dream used to laugh Sam and Steve spoke words of encouragement and love. Instead of getting beat he was hugged and cleaned up. He still spent a few days in the bedroom curled up under the blanket Peter gave him.  
When he finally emerged from the bedroom Sam nudged Steve who was reading something. Bucky stumbled toward them and clumsily plopped himself on the couch between them. Sam was watching some movie. He wrapped his arm around Bucky and Steve resumed his reading. Normal.   
Bucky decided he was feeling well enough to turn his phone back on. He had a missed message from Peter. It was a picture of him in the mirror of a school bathroom. He had his shirt pulled up revealing a diaper peeking out.  
"Back in NY, gotta keep things interesting somehow right?"  
Bucky smiled and replied to Peter with a blushing emoji and winking emoji.   
"Glad to see you're feeling better."  
"Thanks."   
That was the end of the texting for that night. But on Saturday Peter sent another picture to Bucky. It was several bottles of water lined up on a table.   
"Home alone all day. Thinking about having some fun with Mr. Stark." He wrote with an emoji that was winking with its tongue out.   
Steve saw the message come up on the screen and tossed the phone to Bucky on the couch with a chuckle.   
"Looks like Tony doesn't do a very good job keeping him in check." Steve winked at Bucky.   
Bucky laughed. "He could learn a thing or two from you guys."   
Sam smiled at Bucky and ruffled his hair.   
After a moment Sam took Bucky's phone and pointed it at him. Bucky tucked his face behind the blanket leaving his lower half exposed. Sam took the picture of Bucky.  
"Ah, so cute. Look Steve." Sam showed the screen to Steve. Bucky was sitting in just his diaper, blanket wrapped around his shoulders with the corner hiding his face. Sam sent the photo to Peter and opened a new message to himself and Steve.   
"Definitely wallpaper material." Steve winked.   
"Maybe we'll have a little fun of our own." Sam handed the phone back to Bucky and then got up from his spot on the couch. He came back with double the amount of water Peter had sent to Bucky.   
"Take the picture buck." Sam suggested, setting them on the table. Bucky took the picture while Sam was still arranging everything and sent it to Peter.   
"Wow. You might actually explode. Haha. Glad to see you are enjoying the blanket!" Peter responded.   
Steve took a seat beside Bucky. "Tease him a little." He demanded.   
Bucky thought first a minute then started typing.   
"Oh come on. You know you could drink more than that. If you're going to do it, do it right."  
Peter promptly responded. "Sounds like a challenge to me." Then sent a picture matching Bucky's water.   
They sent teasing texts and photos back and forth for a little while. They matched each other's speed, anytime one of them finished drinking a bottle the other would also. Steve and Sam stood by and watched Bucky start to get playful with Peter. Peter was sending Bucky screenshots of his messages with Tony while Bucky occasionally reported what Steve or Sam said. After a few hours Bucky asked how bad Peter was getting. He sent back a photo of himself laying on his stomach it was nearly a full body shot with his padding visible. "8/10 and climbing quickly. You?"  
"Looking good. Lol. About an 8.5. Didn't have the luxury of using the bathroom this morning before the game began."  
Bucky's legs were starting to shake. Steve didn't particularly feel the need to tell him he should let go, he saw Bucky was determined to win. He didn't think it would be possible considering Bucky hadn't actually used the bathroom since the evening prior.   
Bucky's phone dinged again. "Losing it. Just leaked a little bit."   
Bucky smiled at his own victory but was still holding. A video popped up in Bucky's messages. Peter's diaper yellowing as he sighed in relief. "You win." With the sound up the three of them could hear the hiss and splash in Peter's padding.   
Steve let his head rest on the couch at the sound. He tried to readjust himself in his pants. Sam was still watching Bucky, surprised he hadn't lost it yet.   
But when Bucky saw Steve getting turned on he decided it had been long enough. Usually he held back but this time he decided to use some force. And as he pushed out the urine he had been so desperately holding in there was a definite sound of it hitting the diaper. Sam took the phone and recorded a short video, not wanting to be too absorbed in the phone but also wanting to repay Peter. He sent the video. In the background Steve's hand could be seen sliding over the crotch of his pants.   
Bucky melted into the couch as the urine continued to flow from him.


	23. Spend the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up when Peter comes to hang out with Bucky, Sam, and Steve for the weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is pretty long but I had fun with it. It's not a normal pairing but I kind of like Peter being part of this group recently.

A message popped up on Tony's phone while he was talking with Natasha.   
"Tony. Are you listening?"   
He flipped the phone over in his hand. "What? Sorry. It's just Steve."  
"Is everything okay?"   
"Yup. Just checking in is all."   
Natasha nodded and resumed. "So as I was saying if we ask for reports from everyone…"  
Tony's mind was somewhere else. Steve's message had been a bit vague.   
"Mind if we borrow your boy?"   
What was that supposed to mean.   
"I'm sorry." Tony cut off Nat. "I really should call Steve, he was a bit vague in his message. But let's catch back up later?"   
She half nodded before he turned and walked briskly away.   
"Tony?" Steve sounded concerned.   
"What do you need?"   
"I'm well. How are you?" Steve said offended.   
"Sorry but your message skipped past all the formalities."   
"Oh. Yeah. That. Well, Bucky's been doing really well lately and I thought bringing Peter over as a reward might be nice."   
"Will this involve anything in particular?"   
"Doesn't have to. Not if you or him are uncomfortable."   
"No." Tony decided quickly it wasn't a problem for himself. "I don't mind."   
"Okay." Steve wasn't sure what else to say.   
"Hey Steve?"   
"Yeah?"   
"If it does get to that, take a video?"   
Steve laughed breathily. "Okay Tony."  
Then Tony hung up. Steve turned the phone over in his hand a few times before constructing a message to Peter inviting him over for the weekend.   
"Hey Peter. Bucky's been feeling great lately. I think it would be good for him to have a friend come visit, he seems like he's ready for that now. Would you want to come hang out with us this weekend?"   
"Yeah! I'd love to. I'll make up some internship excuse to be there. Can't wait."  
"Hey Buck." Bucky looked up from game he was playing on his phone. "Peter's going to come over this weekend. Thought you two might like to see each other again."   
"Sounds fun." Bucky returned his attention to his game. 

Peter was pretty excited for the weekend. Friday seemed to drag on but the final bell rang and he raced home to pack up. He wasn't sure what to pack so he just grabbed random things. Shirts, shorts, pants, obviously socks, and he assumed he wouldn't need underwear so he packed diapers instead. He grabbed his toothbrush and threw it in a backpack and headed for the train.   
He made it to Steve's at about 6 o'clock. Bucky answered the door when Peter knocked.   
"Hey. It's good to see you." Peter waved.   
"Come in." Bucky said moving aside.   
"Nice place." Peter said looking around.  
He bumped into a table and knocked over a bowl with some keys in it but managed to shoot out a web and save it before it hit the floor.   
"That's handy." Sam said rounding the corner. "How you doing Peter?"   
"I'm good sir. Thank you."   
Sam laughed. "Kid. You don't have to call me sir."   
"Well let's not get ahead of ourselves there Sam." Steve laughed from the bedroom.   
Bucky blushed.   
"Have you eaten yet peter?" Steve emerged from the room pulling on a shirt.   
"No sir." Sam and Steve exchanged smiles. "I'm sorry I mean…"   
"Its okay kid. We haven't either. We were probably just going to order something. Sound good?"   
"Yeah. Yes. Of course."   
They ordered take out and sat in the living room just eating and talking. Mostly they were telling stories about Tony.   
After they had finished Steve and Sam cleaned up while Peter and Bucky talked in the living room. They were laughing about something that happened during one of their chess games.   
"Hey Peter." Steve poked his head into the room. "You can have the couch tonight if you want. We don't have a second bedroom unfortunately. Or if you're comfortable you're more than welcome to share the bed." He returned to helping Sam with dishes.   
"Oh uh.. yeah. Okay. Thanks."   
Peter wasn't really sure which option he should pick. He kind of liked the thought of being cuddled into a bed but would it be weird?   
He had time to think about it.   
They put on a movie once Steve and Sam returned. When it ended Peter was groggily leaning on the couch where Steve and Sam sat. Bucky was laying on the floor beside Peter nearly sleeping. Steve pulled Bucky to his feet.   
"Alright. Let's go to sleep."   
Sam went to Peter. "Hey kid. It's late you should get some sleep."   
Peter stood and stumbled into the bedroom with the other three. Bucky was laying on the bed and Steve was reaching under the bed for the padding.   
Peter sat next to Bucky.   
"Do you need one?" Steve whispered to Peter.   
He shrugged.  
"Well do you want one?"   
After considering it for a moment he nodded.  
This was new. He didn't usually wear at night because he didn't need to but it would be nice to be able to wake in the morning and not have to hold himself on the way to the bathroom. There were a few near misses recently. A small wet patch formed on his pajama pants only that morning while he pulled himself out to aim at the toilet. His bladder was getting much more relaxed.   
Steve nodded and Peter laid back. Steve did Bucky first then Peter, being sure to take extra care so as to not spook the youngest avenger.   
Once they were padded they crawled under the covers and Sam and Steve flanked them. Already sleepy it was no time before Bucky and Peter drifted off. When Peter woke up Sam was laying on his back behind him, he was on his right side facing bucky and Steve was on the other side of Bucky, spooning him. The only reason he woke up is because he could feel something. As his eyes opened he saw Bucky's face twist.   
"Hey." He gently nudged Bucky. "Hey, you're having a nightmare."  
Bucky blinked his eyes open. His breath was uneasy but Peter reached out and drew in close to him.   
"They're pretty bad?"   
Bucky only nodded.   
"I could feel it coming on. I'm sort of like those dogs that can detect seizures." Bucky laughed through his nose. He relaxed a bit and Peter turned over, curling against Bucky. Suddenly Peter felt his butt warm. Bucky inhaled sharply and forced himself to stop. Peter looked over his shoulder.   
"It's okay. You don't have to stop for me." Noticing Bucky struggling Peter ground his hips back, putting pressure on Bucky's abdomen.   
Bucky let out an "oof." And his pee began flowing freely into the diaper. Peter rocked his hips as Bucky let it all out into the padding. They quickly fell back to sleep. 

The next morning Peter woke up pleasantly full. He was warm and comfortable in the bed so he lay there for a while. Sam was now turned away from Peter who was pressed against him back to back. Bucky and Steve had flipped in the night and were now the reverse of what they had been before. Peter moved in close to Bucky and drifted back off to sleep, sandwiched between two warm bodies.   
When he woke back up he was full to bursting. He rolled to his back feeling the weight of his bladder. He reached his hand down to pinch himself in order to hold it. Yeah, he was wearing a diaper but still, it felt wrong wetting himself in a stranger's bed. Well they weren't really strangers he guessed. Bucky rolled over.   
"You okay?"   
"I uh.." Peter started squeezing his legs together.   
"Its okay." Bucky whispered.   
Peter still felt uncomfortable so he wiggled out of the bed. His disturbance woke Steve and Sam who quickly realized what was happening.   
Peter's hand was firmly on his crotch when his feet hit the floor. But standing was too much and he began to lose control. He fell to his knees in front of the bed and tears started to gather in his eyes. His cheeks burned red.   
"I'm sorry… I thought I could… I tried to make it…" he didn't know what to say.   
An arm reached around his torso and pulled him on the bed. Bucky moved over and Steve put Peter in Bucky's spot, covering them back up.   
"It's okay Peter. You're good for trying. But we'll take care of you. Won't we Bucky?"   
Bucky nodded. "They're very good at it."   
Sam checked Bucky's front. "Feels like someone needs to be cleaned up."   
Bucky blushed as Sam pulled him to the edge of the bed and removed Bucky's diaper. Peter had curled himself into a ball as the hot piss flowed from him. Steve propped his head on his hand and brushed a finger through Peter's hair.   
"You're very good Peter."   
Peter actually smiled hearing the words. Steve's hands were making their way to the front of his diaper. He felt it expanding rapidly.   
"My. You did have to go didn't you?"   
Peter nodded. "So bad."   
Bucky wasn't usually vocal when he was wetting so Steve was having fun with this.   
"Oh. Poor boy. Just couldn't hold it anymore."   
"I couldn't. I really couldn't stop it." Peter knew what Steve was doing.   
"You had to go so bad you wet yourself on the floor. And now you're still going in my bed. But it's okay. I'll clean you up. Is that how your daddy does it?"   
Peter tensed up thinking about Tony. "Shh. Its okay. He knows. I'll tell him what a good boy you tried to be."   
Peter relaxed again. "You won't punish me?" He asked innocently.   
"We don't do that here. Does Tony punish you for waiting too long?"   
"Sometimes." Peter sighed as his stream slowed. He squeezed out a few more drops.   
"I don't think this can hold anymore." Steve joked.   
When Peter finished he let his muscles relax.   
"Can I take care of you? Are you finished?" Steve whispered.   
Peter nodded.   
Sam and Steve put fresh diapers on Peter and Bucky and brought them to the couch.   
"I think we could have some fun today Steve." Sam rubbed his hands together.   
"Yeah? I think you're right." They brought out several bottles of water.   
"I think…" Sam began in his best sportscaster voice. "Bucky Barnes really looks like one who could win it all."   
"I don't know. The rookie here may look small but I bet he can take a lot." Steve argued.   
"Well I guess we'll just have to see then. Sam sat on the other side of Bucky and Steve sat beside Peter.   
"We're going to have a friendly competition." Steve said.  
"Who can hold it the longest?" Sam questioned.   
Peter and Bucky blushed as they looked at each other.   
Steve leaned over to Peter. "My money's on you kid."   
Peter smiled.   
A few hours and 3 bottles in both Bucky and Peter were showing signs of desperation. Bucky bounced his knees and Peter wrung his hands. A few more hours and two more bottles and they were not so subtly grabbing themselves, sweat beading on their foreheads. After another hour Peter and Bucky were twisting themselves into pretzels. Sam pulled Bucky onto his lap so he was straddling him. Steve looked at Peter watching them and offered his own lap for the boy.   
"Only if you're comfortable."   
"I guess it wouldn't be the first time." Peter said thinking about the day in the interrogation room.   
Steve laughed and the movement made Peter clench up.   
"You good?" Peter nodded but then shook his head squeezing his eyes shut.   
"I don't think I can do this anymore." He admitted.   
Bucky and Sam smiled to themselves.   
"Hey. Peter. I think you can. I think you can hold it longer. But if it hurts you don't do it. Okay? Your safety is important."  
Peter nodded, fisting his shirt. He regained composure for a moment but another wave hit him. He shook his head vigorously.   
"I can't. I can't. I'm sorry. I can't.. h.. hold it…"   
"Its okay kid. You did your best. You can let go." Steve calmed Peter.   
A high pitched noise came from Peter's throat as the first splash came out. It was violent enough for Steve to feel a bit of the force. Steve reached for his phone and took a video of Peter trying to regain control to send to Tony.   
"I'm sorry sir. I really can't hold it. I tried. I -" then there was a sigh as more came gushing out. There was a noticeable hiss during this leak.   
Steve got a decent video and sent it on to Tony. He turned his full attention to Peter.  
"You did good. I'm proud of you." Steve hugged Peter a little too tight and he could hold back no longer.   
Peter moaned and rocked his hips as the torrent flooded out of him.   
Bucky was pleased he had won, especially since he was only a second behind Peter in losing control. Sam and Bucky moved in unison, hips rolling together.   
Steve came first, embarrassingly fast. Peter hadn't even finished pissing when Steve came. Then Bucky came, hearing Steve's moans often got him off. Finally Peter and Sam were sent over the edge fairly shortly after each other. Peter leaned back and saw that he had leaked on Steve's pants a bit.   
"I'm so sorry sir."   
Steve pulled Peter to his chest. "Do you ever shut up kid?" He panted into Peter's hair.  
Peter smiled and melted against Steve.


	24. check mate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is curious about the relationship between Bucky and Sam and Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut just a conversation.

Peter was disappointed that the weekend had to end. He and Bucky were playing chess in the living room. Steve and Sam were cleaning up the kitchen.   
"Maybe you could come back again." Bucky said.   
Steve stopped what he was doing and listened in.   
"Yeah." Peter said. "That would be fun."   
"You're in check." Bucky was nonchalant.   
Steve smiled at Sam.   
"So do you guys ever…" Bucky looked at Peter as he spoke. He was confused by the question. "Well I mean. You know ...?"   
"Uhh…" Bucky hesitated not sure how much he should really say. "S - sometimes. I… it depends, I guess on… the circumstances…"   
"Oh it's okay. You don't have to… I just was curious…"   
Peter was still debating what move to make.   
"What about you and Tony?"   
"We haven't really…"   
"Do you… want to?"   
"I'm, I'm not sure. I'm not opposed I guess. It's… I don't think it's the same."   
"Mmhmm." Bucky watched Peter try to get out of check. He managed to do it but Bucky put him back into check. The next several minutes they spent moving around the board before Peter ultimately lost.   
Steve came in and sat behind Bucky on the couch.   
"Do you ever win?"   
Peter thought about it. "I don't know that I have."   
Sam came in then. "That's my boy. He's had enough practice."   
"All we do when Steve is gone is play chess." Bucky added.   
"Well that's not all we do." Sam winked.   
Bucky turned pink.   
Peter checked his watch. "I uh… should probably be going."   
"Alright kid. We'll see you again soon?" Steve rubbed his hands on his thighs.   
"Yeah. Of course. It's been fun." Peter smiled.


	25. Passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter wants something more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for checking, I'm still trash :'D

Sam and Steve were going out of town. They had avengers business to attend to. Bucky convinced himself and them he was fine to be alone. It would only be for the day and most of the night. They were coming back late in the night.   
Peter had swung by the window already several times throughout the day. Bucky hadn't even noticed. It was around dusk when Peter swung through and didn't see Bucky. He landed on the balcony of the apartment and quietly slid open the door.   
Bucky was getting out of the shower when he heard a noise in the other room. With instincts taking over he threw off the towel and put on some pants and a shirt quickly, creeping to the doorway. His back was pressed against the door jamb and he peered out into the living room. A figure fell from the ceiling in front of him. Not thinking, Bucky tackled the figure which fought back. In the light that spilled into the living room from the kitchen Bucky recognized Peter's suit.   
"It's just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman." Peter coughed out.   
"Jesus. You can't do that Peter." Bucky was still on his hands and knees over top of Peter.   
"Sorry." Peter struggled under Bucky.   
Bucky loosened his grip. "You're still a shit fighter."   
Peter pulled his mask off. They were face to face. Before he could think Peter pressed his lips to Bucky's. They had never been intimate in that way before. Granted they watched each other wet themselves, they'd masturbated together, but never been physical with each other. Bucky leaned into the kiss and then Peter pulled away.   
They scrambled to their feet.   
"Did uh… they ask you to check in on me?"   
Peter nodded.   
"Well you can report that everything is okay here."   
"Yeah I know. I have been all day."   
"All day?"   
"Yeah I've swung by a few times."   
"I haven't seen you."   
"I know." And Peter held up his hands to remind Bucky of his powers.   
Bucky rolled his eyes and went to the fridge.   
"Can I get you a drink?"   
"Umm, I'm good. Should get back to it, you know." He pointed out the window.   
"Right. Friendly neighborhoo-" but when Bucky turned Peter was already gone.   
The remainder of the evening was quiet. Peter didn't come back and Bucky went to sleep. He awoke when Sam and Steve returned in the middle of the night but quickly fell into a restful sleep once they were nestled in bed with him. 

The following day Sam decided to take Bucky out for a run. Usually Steve would go but he had done something to his ankle the day before. Steve was on the couch when he heard a knock on the door. When he opened it he found Peter standing there.   
"Hey Peter. Bucky is out with Sam right now."   
"No, that's okay. I actually can I uh… use your bathroom?" Peter was stepping from one foot to the other subtly clutching his leg.   
"Yeah. Sure." Steve stepped aside and allowed Peter in.   
Peter made a b line for the bathroom but as Steve closed the door he heard Peter stop at the entrance of the bedroom.   
Peter let out a moan.  
"You okay kid?" Steve rounded the corner to see Peter standing, hand shoved between his thighs which were pressed together in a straight line down to his knees. His feet were parted, attempting to give him leverage to keep his thighs together.   
The need was too strong and Peter couldn't stop himself. Steve heard a few drops hit the floor as Peter sank to his knees on the floor. There was an obvious hissing sound as a puddle formed beneath him. Peter covered his face with his hands. Steve went to him, kneeling beside him on the floor.   
"Its okay." He pulled Peter to him. Their bodies sealed together from chest to knee.   
"I'm sorry sir. I didn't mean to. I tried."   
"I know." Steve brushed back Peter's hair to see his face. It was streaked with tears. He could still feel the urine seeping out of Peter and soaking into his own jeans. Peter sobbed against his chest.   
"You did Good. alright? You're okay." Steve tried to pull away so Peter wouldn't notice him getting hard but Peter wouldn't budge. He stayed glued to Steve. In his own moment of self awareness Steve noticed that he felt something pressing against him as well.   
When Peter had finished he pulled away and wiped at his face.   
"Do you want to get cleaned up?" Steve asked pointing to the shower. "We've probably got some clothes you can borrow."   
"Okay." Peter stood and looked at his damage.   
"Don't worry." Steve waved a hand. "We've got extra towels. I'll get it."   
Peter nodded walking to the bathroom.   
"What about you?" He asked as Steve gathered up some old towels. "You're all wet now too."   
"I'm okay. I'll wash up when you're done."   
"Okay. If - if you wanted you could probably… you know…"   
Steve chuckled. "Okay." He left Peter in the bathroom and cleaned up the mess on the floor. Thank God they didn't have carpet. The shower was running by the time Steve finished up. He contemplated for a moment and ultimately decided to join Peter in the shower.   
"So what are you really doing here kid? I know you didn't come all the way here to use the bathroom."   
"I wanted to come see Bucky. To apologize."   
Steve raised his eyebrows.   
"I did something… when I came to check on him last night… I kind of snuck in and he took me down and then I kissed him. I don't know it was stupid of me. But then things were weird and I don't want them to be."   
"Why did you kiss him?"   
"I'm not sure. Mr. Stark… we don't… and I think I might want something…" Peter stammered.   
"That's okay." Steve smiled. "I'm sure Bucky just doesn't know. He's probably just confused."   
Peter nodded.   
There was a silent pause.   
"I'm sorry I don't mean to bother you with all this. I shouldn't have said anything." Then Peter whispered to himself. "So stupid. What am I doing?"   
"Kid? Do you ever shut up?" And before anyone could say or think anything Steve kissed Peter. It was firm and deep and slow. Not like what Peter had done to Bucky. And if this was what Bucky had to compare it to Peter was feeling insecure.   
Steve and Peter pulled away only to reconnect moments later. The kiss deepened and, pressed against each other, they turned rock hard. Steve shut off the water and pressed Peter to the wall. They kissed more and made their way to the bedroom. Steve pushed Peter to the bed and went to work between his legs.   
Peter moaned. Steve stopped after a while and looked at Peter intently watching him.   
"Have you ever…?"   
Peter shook his head. Steve joined him on the bed.  
"Do you trust me?"   
Peter nodded. "Okay. Tell me if you want to stop. I'll take good care of you."   
Steve pulled a bottle from the nightstand and put a bit on his finger. He massaged the area before inserting a finger slowly. It was weird, but Peter didn't hate it. Once Steve found the spot and began moving his finger in just the right way peter began panting. More lube went on and another finger slid in. It was uncomfortable at first but Steve moved his fingers carefully paying attention to Peter's breath and body. He scissored his fingers slowly at first, playing with the spot. The process continued until Steve felt Peter relax.   
"Do you want me to…?"   
Peter nodded.   
Steve moved into position. Peter was still on his back with his knees bent. Steve put a generous amount of lube on himself and pushed at Peter's entrance. Peter's breathing hitched at first but Steve found an easy rhythm that hit Peter at exactly the right angle.   
After keeping that pace for a while Steve was able to quicken his pace. Peter wiggled and moaned beneath him. Steve's hand was on Peter, rubbing him off while he thrust. Peter had already filled back up when he was on the verge of cumming but he hadn't noticed.   
"Oh." Peter gasped. "I'm- I'm going to cum." And Steve moved his hand as fast as he could as Peter shot out ropes of cum. The cum stopped but a jet of urine shot out. Peter's muscles froze up. He was embarrassed. Steve smiled at him, quickening his thrusts.   
"I guess I have to go again." Peter said turning pink.   
"Its okay." Steve kissed his jaw.   
"No." Another thrust milked another jet out. "I can't hold it."   
Steve began thrusting harder and deeper putting pressure on Peter's bladder.   
"Sir." Peter became frantic. "I'm going to- I have to- I can't… h- hold it…" more jets of urine escaped him, dampening the bed.  
"Please." Peter begged. "I can't hold it. Really I can't."   
"Poor boy. You have to go so bad. You just can't hold it." Steve taunted.   
Peter smiled and played along. He pinched himself trying to hold back. "I'm trying to hold it but I can't. It's so bad. I have to go."   
Steve pressed down on Peter's abdomen and the leaks turned into a torrent. The liquid spread across Peter's torso violently. Peter eyes rolled back. "Holy shit."   
"Aww. You did have to go."   
"You're going to cum soon." Peter's eyes watched Steve intently.   
Steve smiled at Peter and withdrew himself. He moved his hand over himself and came on Peter, adding to the mixture.   
“Go shower off, I’ll take care of this.” Peter went to the bathroom and ran the water. Steve stripped the sheets from the bed and threw them in the wash along with Peter’s clothes. Peter toweled off and came back into the room where Steve was putting new sheets on the bed. Peter flopped onto the bed exhausted.   
“Why don’t you stay here for a bit and rest up? Bucky and Sam should be back soon.”   
“Okay.” Peter nodded, breathless. “Yeah.”   
Instinctively Steve reached for a diaper and brought it to Peter. “Just in case.” He smiled.   
Peter drifted off to sleep, sprawled across the bed. Steve covered him up and went to the bathroom to shave.  
As Steve was finishing up he heard the front door close followed by quick footsteps. Bucky burst into the bathroom not even noticing Peter asleep on the bed. He nearly knocked Steve over on his way to the toilet. Bucky pulled his shorts down revealing a dark spot on his underwear. Standing in front of the toilet Bucky was squeezing himself. If he let go he would no longer be able to hold it. Sam appeared in the doorway as Bucky, in his desperation, stepped into the shower. He still gripped himself tightly as leaks began dripping from the crotch of his underwear.   
“This is your fault.” He said through gritted teeth in Sam’s direction.   
“My fault? I was just trying to keep you from passing out.”   
Steve stepped into the shower and gripped Bucky’s wrist.   
“You need to let go, Bucky, you’re hurting yourself.”   
Bucky shook his head. Sam approached them. “Come on man. It’s okay.”   
“No. It’s pathetic. I can’t -” Steve pulled again at Bucky’s arm as more leaks escaped. “I can’t even hold it -”   
All the noise woke Peter. He saw Sam in the doorway and moved to see what the fuss was. When Bucky saw Peter in the door he turned to face the wall. Peter was in just a diaper and one of Steve’s t-shirts. He pushed past Sam and Steve and joined Bucky.   
“Hey. Don’t do that.” He motioned to Bucky’s hand. “It hurts, doesn’t it?”   
Bucky nodded, muscles flexing under the strain.  
“I know. I know because I was doing the same thing when I first got here. Then I couldn’t stop it and it hurt so bad. But you know what? Steve took care of me. He wasn’t even mad. He’ll take care of you too, and he won’t be mad. No one will be mad at you. You did your best.”   
Peter had picked up on Steve’s language in a short amount of time. Peter tugged at Bucky’s elbow, and he finally let it fall to his side. No longer pinching himself the liquid flowed freely. He breathed heavy, allowing his forehead to lean against the cool tile. Peter stepped back out of the shower and returned to sit on the bed.   
Sam watched Peter and then looked back at Steve. He gave Sam the ‘I’ll explain it later’ face.   
Steve took Bucky's underwear and tossed them in the laundry as Bucky turned on the shower.   
"You better join him." He said passing Sam. "You stink."   
Bucky and Sam exited the shower. Bucky was diapered and nuzzled in next to Peter. Sam followed Steve to the laundry room.   
"It's been a weird morning." Steve admitted. He confided in Sam what had happened.   
"I don't know. Something just came over me."  
"What about Bucky?"   
"Yeah I don't… I don't know. I don't want him to feel bad. Do you think? It's too soon. I shouldn't say anything." Steve was stuffing laundry into the dryer.   
"I don't know man. He seems to really like the kid. He might surprise you."   
"I don't know Sam …" Steve was hesitant, leaning against the dryer with his arms crossed. "And besides what about Tony?"   
"Well what did Peter say?"   
"Nothing to me really… I mean you heard him with Bucky last week. It just doesn't feel right to me."   
"Why not?"   
"Bucky, Tony, you. I have to think about more than just me here."   
"Steve, it's not a big deal. You're always thinking about everyone else. I don't see the big deal? So you had a moment of passion, understandably so. What's wrong with that? You choose whether to share that or keep it to yourself, but if I'm being honest I don't think it's as big of a deal as you are working it up to be. I'm fine. Okay? I think Tony, well you heard Peter, it doesn't seem to be anything serious. And Bucky, I think you need to start giving him more credit. I think he's shown so many signs of growth and to be completely honest there has been something there with him and the kid for a while. You know? I know you've seen it. I think it's a comfort to him, he doesn't feel so ashamed about it."   
"But what if it's too intimate? What if he feels like he's being replaced?"   
"Steve. Honestly. How long have you and Bucky been doing your thing?"   
Steve took in a breath as if to say something but then conceited.   
"I'm just saying man. I think Bucky has become stronger than you realize." Sam started walking toward the kitchen.   
He paused at the bedroom door and shot a look to Steve who joined him. They heard what they thought were whimpers coming from the other side. Afraid Bucky might be working through another nightmare they tip-toed into the room. Only instead of finding Bucky in the throes of a bad dream, what they saw instead was completely unexpected.   
Bucky and Peter were tangled in each other grinding their bodies together. When Bucky saw Steve and Sam he stopped and attempted to pull away from Peter. But the blankets that were wrapped around them prevented him from moving very far. Steve and Sam smiled and went to the bed. Steve took his place behind Bucky and Sam behind Peter.   
"Shh." Steve comforted Bucky. "No need to stop." He pushed against Bucky's bottom, encouraging him closer to Peter. Sandwiched between Sam and Steve Peter and Bucky started back up a bit awkwardly. Eventually they lost themselves in the moment, forgetting about the awkwardness. Rubbing their bodies together furiously it didn't take long for Bucky to climax, dampening his diaper with sticky cum. The noises that escaped Bucky pushed Steve over the edge and the crotch of his pants became darker as the cum soaked through.   
Peter was breathing heavy. "You're next." He looked over his shoulder at Sam, grinding his body harder between Sam and Bucky. A few more movements and Sam lost control. The goosebumps on Peter's skin prickled and he too went over the edge. His body shuddered against Bucky's as he tried to catch his breath.   
"You know, for super soldiers, you guys don't last very long." Sam laughed from behind Peter and Steve flopped onto his back, still panting.  
"You know I can tell when it's about to happen?" Peter was still catching his breath.   
"I don't know why. I'm only supposed to be able to feel bad things. But for some reason, I can tell…" he took another breath as if there was more but Sam cut him off.   
"God kid, do you ever stop talking?"   
Peter smiled and looked at Steve who chuckled.


	26. Payback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Peter decide to give Sam and Steve a little taste of their own medicine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm exploring more the idea of Steve being a bit of a switch and Peter very much being a brat. Bucky tries hard but he isn't quite there yet.   
> Thanks for looking at my dumpster fire. I appreciate the company >.<

Peter had started coming around more regularly. Nothing was defined, there were no conversations, despite Steve attempting to organically bring it up, it was just something that happened.   
One night Peter and Bucky hatched a wild idea. They were going to give Sam and Steve a taste of their own medicine.   
The next morning Bucky and Peter had woken up before Steve and Sam. Bucky locked the bathroom and hid the key somewhere in the apartment. Steve and Sam had no idea what was being planned for them. Sam woke up first, noticing Bucky and Peter's absence. He shook Steve awake. They went out into the apartment to find Bucky and Peter on the patio playing chess, as was their ritual.  
"Good morning boys." Sam stepped out into the spring air.   
"Morning." They said in unison, focusing on the game.  
Steve then came out. "Hey did someone lock the bathroom door?"   
Bucky and Peter smiled to each other.   
"What… what's this?" Sam asked pointing between them. "What was that little exchange right there?"   
"Well… we just thought…" Peter began.   
"You are always so good at taking care of us. Maybe we would return the favor." Bucky finished.   
Sam laughed. "Okay, very funny guys, where is the key."   
Bucky shook his head returning to the chess game.   
"Come on Buck." Steve moved to his side. "Seriously, where's the key?"  
Bucky got up and went to the bedroom. The other three followed him. He sat on the bed and patted the space beside him. Sam and Steve sat but Peter stayed standing. Bucky pulled up the corner of the sheet and retrieved two diapers.   
"Let us take care of you." He winked.   
Steve melted. Bucky was being playful how could he say no? But also how could he go through with this?   
"We can do this the easy way. Or the hard way." Peter held up his hands.   
Steve was the first to lay back on the bed with a sigh. Sam reluctantly followed. It wasn't long before they both had on the padding Bucky provided. When Steve attempted to sit up Bucky pushed him back down. Peter and Bucky stood above the bed looking over Sam and Steve.   
"You know, I don't know about you guys, but I always have to pee in the morning…" Peter looked at Bucky with a smirk.  
He had been listening to Steve, paying attention to the words he used and tone of voice. More confident than Bucky, it was no surprise that Peter was taunting this way. He nudged Bucky gently. Bucky spoke up then.  
"You must have to go pretty bad." He was looking right at Steve.   
Sam laughed. "Lucky me, I went right before bed, I should be good for another hour at least."  
"We thought you might say that." Peter put 2 bottles of water on the nightstand. "Drink up."   
Apparently he'd been watching Sam too. Sam begrudgingly took the water and played along.   
Steve was quite fidgety and Bucky was having fun with him.   
"You shouldn't hold it if it hurts you know."   
"Yeah. We don't want you to hurt yourself."   
While their attention was focused on Steve, Sam pinched himself through the diaper. He may have been lying about his own desperation. He could hold it. They would have to open the bathroom eventually. Right?   
Steve shook his leg, balling his hands into fists in an attempt to hold on. He panted while sweat formed on his forehead.   
"Can you let it out for us?" Bucky whispered to Steve.  
It sent a shiver through him. Out of the corner of his eye Bucky noticed Sam fidgeting too.   
"Worse than you thought?" He smiled wickedly.   
Now Peter and Bucky went to the bed and began massaging Steve and Sam's abdomens.   
Steve started to shake his head side to side. "I can't…" he whispered. "Oh God. I can't hold it."   
And he was right. He literally couldn't hold in another drop. Bucky barely touched him and it all came rushing out. The warmth spread throughout the diaper quickly and Steve didn't hate the feeling. He could see the appeal. Mostly he was just relieved his bladder didn't burst. Sam tried to keep holding but hearing Steve lose control made it difficult. Sam had been letting out little leaks but he could no longer contain them. The leaks were getting longer and stronger and his diaper was starting to get actually wet. When they pushed hard on him he completely let go.   
Sam and Steve lay there panting.   
"You've had your fun." Sam gasped. "But you know there will be punishment for this."   
Steve happily looked on as Bucky smiled slyly to Peter. They were proud of what they'd done.


	27. Good subs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky experiences subspace with Sam while Steve tries out some gentle control during an outing with Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I appreciate you for reading and watching this train wreck I created. I wanted to explore the idea of subspace a bit more. I'm also getting interested in the dynamics between Bucky and Sam and how their relationship works.

Steve had to run some errands and Peter wanted to go with him. This left Sam and Bucky home alone and asleep on a rainy Sunday morning.  
It wasn't long before Bucky woke up desperate to go. His diaper was already wet from the middle of the night. Weirdly he didn't even wake up when it happened. He just woke up wet.   
Sam was draped mostly over Bucky and Bucky tried to push him off so he could run to the toilet. It was to no avail. Sam was heavy. Bucky whined pinching himself through the diaper. The diaper would surely leak if he let go in it but he wasn't seeing any other option. He kept trying to move Sam. Eventually Sam woke from all the movement and noise.   
"Bucky?" He picked up his head. "What's the matter?"   
"I have to go."   
Sam put his head back down.   
"Then go."   
"I can't." He clenched his legs together. "I'm already wet. I… I went in the middle of the night and didn't know." His face turned pink.   
"Oh that's okay. Here let me help you." Sam moved to get up but put too much weight into the arm that was resting on Bucky's stomach. It caused a little leak to shoot out of Bucky.   
He let out a moan as Sam moved.  
"Shit sorry bud." Sam whispered. He got up and offered a hand to help Bucky.   
Bucky shook his head. "I can't. I'll go if I try to sit up."   
"Okay, okay…" Sam was thinking of what to do.   
"Saaaam." Bucky whined wiggling his legs and openly grabbing his crotch.  
"Okay here."   
Sam dragged Bucky to the edge of the bed and undid the diaper. Bucky's eyes got wide.   
"Just trust me." Sam said.   
He pulled off the diaper and reached for a new one. As Bucky lifted his hips for Sam to slide the padding underneath the built up pressure popped. A little trickle began flowing out of Bucky. It trailed down his butt. Sam was quick enough to catch it with the diaper. Laying back down onto the diaper jostled his bladder and made him leak again. This time the stream shot straight down onto the diaper.   
"I'm having an accident." Bucky panicked and tried to sit up. Not thinking clearly.  
This officially broke the dam and the pee flowed freely from Bucky. His tip was pressed into the padding but he peed faster than it could absorb and it started to pool up around him. He looked at Sam in fear. Sam knelt beside Bucky with a hand on each knee.  
"Its okay. Look no mess."   
Sam stole a glance at Bucky's crotch as the golden liquid slowly seeped into the padding. Bucky shook his head and covered his face.  
"Sorry. I'm sorry."   
Sam forgot for a moment about Bucky's having an accident and pulled him onto his lap, leaving the diaper on the bed. He couldn't help it, Bucky just looked so helpless and embarrassed and adorable. Bucky didn't even notice what had happened. He was peeing freely wetting Sam's shirt and pants. The fabric clung to Sam, cooling quickly.   
"Shh Buck. You're okay."   
Bucky nuzzled into Sam's neck breathing easy. His stream arched up between them hitting Sam in the chest. It made a spatter sound as it his the already wet fabric of Sam's pants. Sam wasn't sure Bucky knew completely what was happening because normally he would have been panicking. He was glad though. Glad bucky felt comfortable, glad he could help him. The stream had slowed to an inconsistent dribble. Sam looked down and marveled at Bucky's bladder capacity the diaper was pretty drenched and he was completely soaked now. And it seemed Buck still wasn't completely empty. Bucky was limp in his arms and he moved to pick him up.   
"We're going to go to the bathroom now okay?"   
Bucky nodded and allowed Sam to carry him to the bathroom. Drips still leaked out of Bucky while Sam made their way into the tiled room. He sat Bucky on the toilet and listened to the sound of more trickling into the bowl. He peeled the wet clothes off himself and threw them in the sink for now.   
"Boy you really did have to go." He knelt back down to Bucky who nodded.   
"So bad." Bucky whispered almost incoherently leaning on Sam.  
Sam started the shower and got them both in once Bucky's stream finally stopped. Bucky leaned on the wall of the shower as Sam soaped them up.   
"You okay buck?" Sam asked looking him over.   
Bucky nodded. "Sleepy…" was all he said.   
"Oh boy." Sam quickly shut off the water and helped the weakened Bucky out. "I think you're feeling the drop."   
Bucky looked at him in confusion, head dropping.   
"We're going to have to talk about this later." Sam rubbed the towel over Bucky and took him over to the bed where he placed a new clean diaper on him. He got Bucky comfortable under the covers and went to the dresser to find himself some clothes. Bucky groaned at the loss of body heat.   
"Saaamm." He whined reaching his arms out. "Come cuddle."  
Sam smiled and couldn't resist Bucky. He jumped into bed and curled around Bucky who hummed happily.   
With Sam stroking his hair Bucky fell asleep quickly.   
Shit. Sam thought to himself. He had experienced this before having dabbled in some bdsm once upon a time. He didn't expect Bucky to slip into subspace let alone so randomly and so quickly. It felt good knowing Bucky trusted him well enough. What would he tell Steve? He wondered how Steve was doing with Peter. 

Steve was standing in line at the post office. Their final stop for the day. Peter was fidgeting next to Steve.   
"You okay kid?" Steve whispered.   
Peter nodded, clenching his fists.   
"We're almost done but you know you have backups."   
Peter nodded. He stopped wiggling for a few moments but then started back up.   
"Could you be any more conspicuous?" Steve laughed.   
"Sorry." Peter blushed.  
"You're fine. But try to be still okay? We're almost there I promise." Steve smiled and Peter returned the gesture before scrunching up his face. A wave of desperation hit causing Peter to shiver. They were next at the desk and Peter couldn't even pay attention to what Steve was telling the guy behind the counter. He handed over some envelopes and Peter pressed his thighs together trying to fight the urge. He knew he had diapers on but the thought of losing control right here in public was humiliating. Even if no one could tell.   
They left and Peter kept his legs clenched tightly on their walk to the train. They stopped before descending the stairs.   
"I'm - I'm sorry… I can't." A little urine leaked out. Steve grabbed Peter's elbow.   
"Come on kid. Just a little further. We'll be home in no time."  
Peter gathered himself and nodded. Steve guided them down through the gate and onto the train. They took their seats and as the train lurched forward Peter's bladder jolted. Steve put a hand on Peter's thigh in time to feel the leak. It was hot on Steve's hand. Steve squeezed Peter's thigh and looked at him reassuringly. Peter blushed and hid his face in Steve's shoulder. Steve nudged him at their stop and more leaked out as they stood. Peter stopped every few feet leaking more into his diaper every time.   
They finally reached the apartment. The climb up the stairs was excruciating as Peter was on the verge of a full on wetting. They got to the door and Peter saw relief within reach. Peter was in front of the door and Steve was sorting through his keys to find the right one. Too slowly for Peter. He danced about and Steve stopped looking for the key. He pinned Peter's back to the door.   
"Mr. - " Peter stopped himself, groaning instead. Steve pushed his weight against Peter with a smile. That was too much for Peter. He let out a "hmph" as his body finally gave in.   
"Sor… sorry…" he panted into Steve's neck.   
Steve smiled planting kisses on Peter's neck.   
"Are you really sorry?" Steve squeezed the front of Peter's padding.   
Peter giggled. "A little. But… feels so good."   
"Yeah? You like pissing yourself on the train?"   
Peter nodded.   
"And you like me telling you to stop? When to control yourself?"   
"Yes sir."   
"You know you don't have to call me that." Steve whispered.   
Peter wet his lips and nodded. Steve turned the key and let them into the apartment. Peter hobbled straight to the bathroom. Steve tossed his keys in the bowl and went to find Sam and Bucky. Peter was still in the bathroom cleaning himself up no doubt. He was less interested in that part. Mostly he liked holding and losing control, not so much into the nurturing comfort that Bucky craved.  
Sam smiled at Steve when he joined them on the bed.   
"We need to talk." Sam whispered over the sleeping Bucky.   
Steve frowned with concern.   
"No, no. Nothing bad."   
Steve nodded.   
"Later." Sam raised an eyebrow.   
Steve looked at Bucky clinging onto Sam and smiled.


	28. Traffic Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has the light system explained to him and decides to take some control and tease Steve.

Steve had sent Peter on his way back home for the week. He was in the kitchen with Sam. Bucky had woken up and returned to his normal self. He was currently sitting on the balcony drinking some tea. Sam checked on him before settling against the counter. Steve rolled up his sleeves as Sam began to speak in a low voice.   
"Something happened today. I'm… I'm not entirely sure but I think Bucky may have experienced subspace and the subsequent drop today."   
Steve tipped his head and furrowed his brow.   
"Yeah…" Sam continued. "Its uh… a bdsm kind of thing. I guess. Well... In a way, I mean."   
Steve felt more confused. "Sam. Just… slow down."   
Sam took a breath. "Okay. Sometimes in dom/sub relationships the sub can slip into subspace. It's like a safe place. They sort of get lost a little in their mind, kind of fuzzy. They lose touch a bit. And it happens when there is a lot of trust, you know because they have to be able to trust the dom to take care of them. And they get a little needy, like they need someone there to help them come down, come back to reality."   
"Have you talked to him? What should we do?"   
"Not yet… I'm not sure. It's not like he hasn't retreated into his mind before. It's just usually not good. I mean it's usually hydra in his head. This is good though."   
"Well what happened exactly?"   
"Nothing really. We were sleeping and he woke up frantic, you know how he does."   
Steve nodded.   
"I guess he was trying to get up but couldn't move from under me. So I went to get up and let him out. He had to go pretty bad. I tried to calm him down and tell him it was alright but he had wet at some point in the night and was worried it would be too much. I thought I'd just change him quick because he couldn't get up without losing control. So I took it off and started putting on the new one but then he lost it. It all went in the diaper but it was still open. That's when he started to get kind of ..."   
"Fuzzy." Steve said matter-of-factly.   
"Yeah. He started apologizing. He looked so vulnerable so I just scooped him up. You know." They both smiled at the thought because they'd seen that version of Bucky many times.   
"He just kept going even though I was holding him and he was naked. Then in the shower he was so lethargic. I took him to bed and he asked to cuddle. It wasn't long but it was something. I've got to say, Steve, I think this is really something. It's amazing progress. If he can…"   
"If he can go there, he feels really safe. Finally." Steve interrupted.   
"Exactly."   
"What do we do now? Do we tell him?"   
"Well we have to talk to him, it has to be mutually consensual."   
Steve nodded. "Okay. Okay. So we talk to him."   
Sam gestured for Steve to lead.  
Out on the balcony Steve asked Bucky to come in for a chat.   
"Is everything okay?" Bucky came in quickly. He took a seat across the table from Sam and Steve.   
"Yeah." Steve smiled. "Of course we just… we uh wanted to…"   
"Bucky." Sam interrupted. "Do you remember earlier?"   
"I…" he began slowly drawing out the word. "I remember feeling weird a little bit… like… like…" he struggled to find the words.   
"Fuzzy." Sam and Steve said.   
"Yeah…" Bucky nodded. "Like that." He squirmed under the table. "I thought I was just sleepy."   
"I think -" Sam began. "I think you entered subspace."   
They spent the next several minutes explaining things to Bucky.   
"So I think it would do good to try the traffic light system along with your safe word." Sam informed them. "Basically what that means is that we'll check with you. Green light means you're okay. Orange light means you're feeling a bit uncomfortable but you don't want to stop necessarily and red light means stop."   
"Right. And your safeword means you need help. That things went too far too fast and you didn't have a chance to give the red light." Steve included.   
"Are you okay with all of that?" Sam asked looking at Bucky in a serious manner.   
Bucky nodded. "I think I understand."   
"Okay. Can you just say that stuff back to us to make sure?"   
Bucky slowly recounted what he had learned and talked about the light system. Steve and Sam nodded reassuringly as all this unfolded.   
"It won't always happen." Sam said about subspace to wrap up. "But when it does do you trust us to take care of you?"   
Bucky nodded without missing a beat.   
Steve had taken note of Bucky's incessant wiggling about. "How are you feeling?" Steve asked him when it was all over.   
Bucky nodded. "I'm good." He lied.   
His need had grown throughout the conversation but he was feeling a bit helpless and wanted to prove something to himself and to them.   
Steve knew he was lying. He always knew. But this was new for Bucky. And Steve kind of liked it. Hell he liked taking care of Bucky, but seeing Bucky defiant and desperate was a turn on too. Besides, he had faith that Bucky wouldn't push himself beyond his limits, he'd learned a lot from Peter lately.   
Peter was always pushing himself past his limits. Bucky saw that and responded to it, pushing himself far but not too far. While peter could handle the follow up of not only reaching his limit but surpassing it, Bucky wasn't there yet. But perhaps what happened with Sam was a new beginning.   
"Steve?" Sam was snapping his fingers by Steve's ear. He snapped back to attention and cleared his throat. "Sorry. Yeah I was just daydreaming I guess. What's up?"   
"We were just talking about watching a movie." Steve watched Bucky grab himself out of the corner of his eye.   
"Sounds good. Here?"   
"Yeah, man. Where were you that whole conversation?"   
"Sorry just lost in thought." Of his best friend and longtime lover pissing himself.   
They made their way to the couch and cozied in for the movie. Snuggled under a blanket Bucky's subtly holding himself was undetectable. Steve kept eyeing him. Watching as he bit his lower lip. It was a half hour into the movie that Sam started noticing Bucky's constant movement. When he met Steve's gaze to tip him off he noticed Steve already watching Bucky. Steve always knew somehow. Maybe it was some super soldier connection. Maybe it was something he knew from before. Maybe it was the fact that Steve was really into this. Like really into it. But he was almost always the first to be able to tell.   
All of this was hot to Sam. He liked being part of the fun with Steve and Bucky, he enjoyed it when Steve brought the kid around too. And while it had opened up a new kink for him it was the other aspect that got him going. It was the control, being able to comfort Bucky, taking care of him. It was the taking charge that he got off on. He and Steve were finally falling into a rhythm with Bucky. One where they all had moments together but also had something that was just their own. Sam let Steve have this one. After all, Sam had had his own moment with Bucky earlier in the day. He loved Steve but Steve was not enough of a dom to take bucky there. 'Typical switch.' Sam thought of Steve with a chuckle.   
Bucky was beyond desperate now. But he didn't want to leave the movie and he was a bit embarrassed to ask them to pause it. He didn't feel panicky like usual though. Could it be? Could things be changing? Could this turn out to be a kink and nothing more? No more needing Steve or Sam constantly there to pick up his pieces. Bucky was sure that there would still be days, his anxieties didn't just go away. But maybe it was possible to heal a little over time.   
He caught Steve looking at him and blushed returning his eyes to the movie. The fun he could have with this.   
Sam looked straight ahead and tried not to notice the awkward glances between Steve and Bucky. Something had changed. Steve wasn't being overbearing and Bucky wasn't a needy mess. He couldn't help but point to himself as the creator of this break through. He smiled proudly to himself.   
Bucky gasped as a little liquid escaped him. His cotton underwear dampened. He should have put on a new diaper. Steve and Sam both snapped their heads in his direction. Shit. He just kept looking at the movie hoping they would turn away. The end credits finally rolled and Sam stood almost instantly.   
"Excuse me boys. I need the restroom."   
Bucky was hoping to be the first to jump up and head that way but damn Sam for beating him to it. He sighed and settled back into the corner of the sectional. Steve scooted over beside him.   
"I saw you watching. Fucking pervert." Bucky smirked.   
"And I saw you struggling, tease." Steve whispered. "Too bad Sam stole your moment for relief."   
"I can hold it." Bucky was matter-of-fact.   
"Can you?" Steve bit Bucky's ear lobe. "Tell me how long."  
"Uhhh… umm… " Bucky stumbled over his words. Steve ran a hand up his thigh, resting it on his abdomen.   
"Please don't." Bucky whispered.   
"That bad huh? So thinking about Sam in there letting it all go must be so hard." Steve brushed his hand along Bucky's stomach.   
"Steve please." Bucky tensed up.   
Then he remembered this new color system. "Orange."   
Steve removed his hand respectfully.   
"Okay. It's pretty bad. If you keep touching me there I won't be able to hold it. And I'm not wearing any protection." He added the last part more quietly.   
Steve nodded and backed away.   
"Orange doesn't mean stop." Bucky whispered. "Just slow down."   
Steve smiled at him and leaned in for a kiss.   
"What is taking Sam so long? I thought he just needed a piss."   
"Language." Steve kissed Bucky's chin.   
"Gah. No." Bucky stood quickly. "I can't hold it anymore Steve. I can't."   
"What do you need me to do Buck?" Steve stood beside him.   
"I - I don't know." Steve thought fast and put his shoulders under Bucky's arms to help him walk.  
Each step was excruciating as Bucky held back leaks. The bathroom door was still closed and Steve concocted a new plan. They were now heading to the balcony. The concrete slab with waist high walls around it would serve as some privacy at least.   
Bucky liked his idea much better when he wasn't on the verge of pissing his pants.   
"Steve what -?"   
"Shhh. It's okay." Steve cooed, half dragging Bucky out the door.   
"I can't go out here. People might see."   
Steve looked around finding no one. "There's no one even out here, Buck. And the bathroom isn't open and you can't hold it any longer. This is the best alternative."   
There was no time for logic however as Bucky's body was on the verge of giving in. Steve sat down and patted his legs. Bucky shuffled over and parted his legs barely holding onto his last shred of control. Once he was seated Steve checked Bucky's colors.   
"Green." Bucky whispered into Steve's neck.   
Steve opened his own legs causing Bucky's to part further.   
"Orange." This time it was louder. "Steve I'm gonna piss. Really. I really can't hold it. Let me up." Bucky struggled in Steve's arms but his grip only tightened.   
"No." Steve whispered back.   
Bucky shivered at the breath on his ear and let out a long leak. Long enough to darken his crotch.   
"Well well…" Steve looked down at the stain. "You were right."   
The last leak allowed Bucky some more control but he bounced on Steve's lap trying to keep it.   
"If you keep that up, I'm going to lose control." Steve laughed into Bucky's hair.  
Bucky decided then to have some fun. He stopped moving and let out a longer leak, enough to soak through his pants onto Steve's. Steve let out a moan. Bucky had underestimated his need however because that leak wouldn't stop. He tried to tense up, to wiggle against Steve but it was to no avail. The leak turned into a full stream and Bucky groaned as it began forcefully jetting out of him.   
The urine soaked both their pants and dripped down through the mesh chair pattering onto the ground below.   
When Bucky had finished Steve lifted him and carried him inside. He tossed Bucky on the bed and tore off their clothes. He didn't think. There was no room for reason only passion and action. Before long he was inside of Bucky thrusting slow and deep. Sam had exited the bathroom in time to watch things unfold. Steve reached between his body and Bucky's to stroke Bucky. The super soldiers didn't last long, they never did, and when it was over Sam found himself on the bed getting treated by the two. Hands and tongues mingled on his skin everywhere. Bucky and Steve took turns sucking him off until finally he reached his peak too.   
They collapsed exhausted into the bed after wiping up their sticky bodies. The shower could wait.


	29. House call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doctor makes a house call to help Bucky with a little problem.

"You can hold it Bucky." Sam was standing over Bucky.  
Bucky was perched on the bed shaking his head.  
"I can't." His words were weak.  
"Can't what?" Sam clenched his jaw.  
"I can't hold it sir."  
"That's better."  
This game had been going on for a while. Bucky was drifting into subspace slowly tonight. When it finally happened the dam broke. Pee burst through his underwear and pattered to the ground.  
"I'm sorry sir." Bucky looked up at Sam with big pleading eyes.  
"Shhh. It's okay. I know you can't hold it sometimes." Sam ran his fingers over Bucky's hair. Bucky leaned his head against Sam's chest.  
"Daddy will take care of you right?"  
Bucky nodded.  
"Can we have some fun first?"  
He nodded again.  
"Colors?"  
Bucky shivered as his last few drops fell out.  
"Green." He said.  
Sam put Bucky on his hands and knees after yanking off the underwear. He started out thrusting roughly into Bucky who whimpered a bit but eventually recovered. Sam would plant a hard smack on Bucky's ass every now and then, causing Bucky to cry out. But he never gave the red light. Once they were finished Bucky curled up leaving Sam to care for him. Sam quickly cleaned up and hopped into bed with Bucky. He stroked Bucky's hair, told him stories about the avengers and Steve, occasionally he even read to him.  
This time when Bucky came back he felt different. He started to feel a little pain in his lower abdomen. After serious play they usually didn't do anymore for the day meaning Bucky didn't wear a diaper.  
He noticed a frequent need but each time he went only a little came out. Steve took notice and asked Sam about what happened earlier. Nothing out of the ordinary it seemed. But when Bucky was in the bathroom trying to relieve himself and Steve walked by to hear Bucky crying out in pain that's when they took things in a different direction.  
Steve looked up the symptoms online and came to the conclusion that Bucky had a mild uti. He was no doctor but everything made sense. He had done quite a lot of holding lately. And they might have pushed him too far in recent days. First thing the next morning they would call their personal doctor - Banner. In the meantime Steve stayed close to Bucky, helping him to the bathroom whenever the urge arose.  
Steve decided the best plan would be to put a diaper on Bucky since he had almost not made it already several times. Even with the diaper on Bucky still tried to get up. Once he got up and started running to the bathroom only to stop half way, grip the door frame and pant for a moment before returning to Steve on the couch.  
Sam made a grocery run for cranberry juice.  
Steve was holding Bucky swaying side to side on the couch.  
"It hurts so bad." Bucky cried.  
"I know." Steve hushed him. "We're going to fix it."  
Bucky nodded and Steve felt a warmth spreading in the diaper. Bucky couldn't even tell he was going between the pain.  
Sam returned and they urged Bucky to drink. But more drinking meant more peeing and that meant more pain. It was an endless argument. They finally convinced Bucky to drink because it would prevent things from getting much worse. They also changed him very frequently to prevent any more bacteria building up. Even if it was only a dribble that leaked out it still warranted a change. After drinking several glasses of cranberry juice and even more water they settled Bucky down enough to sleep. He hadn't gone pee in a while because the pain of holding was less than that of going. He awoke after only half an hour of being asleep. His bladder was too full for him to sleep comfortably. He tried to relax but as soon as it got to the tip the burning was too intense for him to let go completely. He felt bad waking Sam or Steve so he just kept trying to hold it. Eventually it got so bad that he couldn't. He literally felt like he might explode. So he lay there in the dark and pissed his diaper, trying not to cry out in pain. There was no relief only more pain.  
His whimpers woke Steve who tried to calm Bucky to no avail. His skin was warm and moist to the touch but he shivered as if he were cold. Steve pulled him close.  
"You're okay Buck. I'm going to call Bruce now okay?"  
It was 4 in the morning and Steve felt bad to wake Bruce but he couldn't stand to see Bucky this way.  
He shook Sam awake and told him he was going to call Bruce. Sam nodded in agreement after seeing Bucky in the shape he was in. He cuddled close to Bucky, trying to keep him warm.  
Steve returned moments later and urged them both up. Bruce was on his way with something to reduce the fever and some antibiotics to fight the infection. They changed Bucky quickly into a fresh diaper and sat him on the couch. Steve wrapped Bucky in his favorite blanket while Sam pulled on some sweatpants and a t-shirt.  
When Bruce got there he went to Bucky. Sitting beside him on the couch he stuck a thermometer in his mouth. Bucky was still shivering, his hair clung to his damp face.  
"I'm not sure if tylenol works on super soldiers, but hopefully it will bring down his fever."  
Sam brought out a glass of water and handed it to Bucky. Bruce poured out a few pills into his hand and gave them to Bucky. He swallowed them down and got up promptly to hurry to the bathroom. Steve followed him to make sure he was alright. They closed the bedroom door and Bucky took his place in front of the toilet. Steve steadied him from behind. A few spurts came out into the toilet but Bucky clenched his metal fist and stopped the stream.  
"It burns Steve."  
"I know Buck. It'll be better soon. I promise."  
They returned to the room where Sam sat cross armed in the chair and Bruce hadn't moved from his spot on the sofa. Steve covered Bucky back up and Bruce handed over the pills.  
"So take one of these in the morning and one in the evening. It needs to be taken with food, so breakfast and dinner time is fine. His fever should start going down if the tylenol works. If it goes back up give him some more. Every 6 hours he can have them." Steve and Sam nodded.  
"And if that doesn't work put him in a cold shower or bath to bring down his body temperature. You don't want the fever getting too high."  
"Okay. And is there anything we can do for the pain?" Steve asked rubbing Bucky's shoulders.  
"Well, make sure he's drinking lots of water. Diluting the urine is the goal so it burns less. Other than that there isn't really much."  
"Okay. Thanks Bruce."  
"Yeah no problem guys."  
Steve saw Bruce out and they took Bucky back to bed. It was a rough few nights but eventually the medication started to work and Bucky was restored to full health.


	30. A day of Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group celebrates the fourth of July.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I obviously wrote this on the fourth of July but I didn't have this then so I'm just uploading it now. Oh well.

It was the 4th of July. Steve's favorite day of the year. He got the whole team together to go watch some fireworks in the park. What Steve didn't count on was Bucky's anxiety to kick in with the crowds of people, loud noises, and flashes of light. The first person to walk past with a sparkler had Bucky clinging to Steve or Sam's side. He bounced back and forth between them but still tried to keep his composure for the rest of the team. He hated the looks he got when they knew he was feeling anxious.  
It had been so long that he'd been doing well no one really expected this to be a trigger. But Sam knew best that anything could be a trigger. He and Steve did their best to comfort Bucky. They knew his signs and how to make him comfortable without drawing too much attention.  
They found a quieter space and put down their blankets in the yard. Bruce and Nat sat on one blanket, barely touching. They would steal little nudges and loving touches whenever someone wasn't looking. Their attempt at being low key about their relationship even though everyone else was painfully aware of what was going on. Tony brought Pepper and they nestled together on some fancy chairs that unfolded from a tiny little box. Peter was off with his friends, being a 16 year old kid for once. And Thor, the God of Thunder, sat marveling at the whole scene. Bucky was sandwiched between Steve and Sam on their blanket.  
The show started and after the first few times Bucky stopped jumping at every flash and boom. With their arms crisscrossing behind his back Bucky actually started to feel okay. His heart still raced a bit but every touch reminded him that he was home and they were there with him. Plus Steve's smile was enough to make him forget about the anxiety, even just momentarily.  
He started getting a little fidgety toward the middle of the display and they took notice.  
Sam leaned in and whispered to Bucky.  
"You okay?"  
Bucky nodded, eyes fixed on a red explosion above them.  
"They do this every year?" Thor laughed from in front of Tony and Pepper.  
"Yup." Tony said watching the flashes. "All because our forefathers said there should be explosions when we won our independence."  
"This is fantastic!" He shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth from the carnival before finding their grassy spot on the hill.  
Nat and Bruce were now sweetly sharing some cotton candy.  
"Can we go back to that tiny amusement park?" Thor was amazed by the carnival.  
"Well, you all can head that way. Ms. Potts and I have to split after the light show."  
"We'll go." Nat smiled at Bruce.  
Steve looked at Bucky for approval and, upon getting it, agreed as well.  
The grand finale was a sight to see. Bucky ended up covering his ears to deal with the sound, but actually enjoyed the colors as they lit up the sky. Steve took note, thinking ahead to next year he would definitely bring some ear plugs for Bucky. He rubbed the small of Bucky's back while Sam squeezed his knee. They offered him small physical shows of support that actually did help decrease his heart rate. With every loud boom Bucky could feel his full bladder vibrate. He tensed his thighs and let out a low moan so that no one could hear. No one except Steve of course.  
The fireworks ended and the smoke floated high in the air. Tony and Pepper headed out after a prompt goodbye leaving the rest of the team to fold their blankets and head toward the carnival.  
"Should we stop off at the restrooms?" Steve encouraged.  
Bucky was the first to say "I'm fine." And charge ahead.  
Steve frowned at Sam.  
Nat took notice and while she didn't understand the situation she decided to step in anyway.  
"Actually, if you don't mind I'm just going to run in real quick." She pointed a thumb at the bathroom building.  
"Yeah of course." Steve said.  
Nat handed the blanket to Bruce who stood dutifully by the wall.  
Steve finally convinced Bucky to at least go in and try. He had an unusually hard time admitting his need in front of people, especially the team. And when his anxiety was high he often suffered from "stage fright." He stood in front of the urinal focusing on trying to relieve himself. Steve took the urinal beside him thinking if he were to go it would make Bucky feel comfortable enough. It didn't work. Luckily they had been prepared and put the usual padding on him. After a few moments of trying, Bucky frustratedly washed his hands and left with Steve. Nat was exiting at about the same time. They joined the others and headed toward the lights and sound of the carnival. First everyone decided to play some games. Thor won a giant teddy bear and offered it to the small child who had been playing beside him.  
"These games are too easy!" He boomed after having won several games, giving each prize to whomever was playing beside him. Bruce rolled his eyes at the God as he consistently lost every game he and Nat played.  
She put a hand on his arm, sensing his frustration.  
"These aren't games of wit or strategy. It's pure luck."  
He smiled back at her.  
"Besides, who needs some dumb stuffed animal?"  
Moments later she smiled big as Bruce handed her a small stuffed hulk.  
Bucky, Steve, and Sam stopped to play the game where you had to knock over some jars with a baseball. Of course Steve knocked them all down his first shot. Bucky also knocked all his down on the first shot. They each took the toy they won and handed them to Sam lovingly.  
"Yeah, yeah super soldiers, real smooth."  
"You know Sam, Buck and I played that game at the first carnival we ever went to together."  
"Yeah." Bucky said patting Sam's chest. "Don't feel so bad. We've had a lot of practice."  
As Bucky chuckled he felt a tiny leak warm the front of his padding. His face contorted and he froze in his tracks. Steve swooped in and put his arm around Bucky guiding him forward.  
"Do you need to go?" He whispered.  
"I'm … I'm fine…" he choked out. "I can't. I can't go there."  
"Okay. You know you can always ask us to leave if you -"  
"No." He cut Steve off.  
Luckily the crowd had dissipated after the fireworks so there were very few stragglers left behind.  
Thor decided he wanted to ride some of the rides, even though he was much too large for many of them. Most of them he would have to ride alone in order to fit his massive body. He dragged the team toward the tilt-a-whirl first. He laughed broadly as the cart spun around wildly. Bruce blushed as his and Nat's bodies were thrown together first to one side of the cart then to the other. Bucky squished himself between Steve and Sam and laughed at first when the ride started but quickly went rigid. The force was doing a number on him and the pressure of the lap belt on his bladder proved too much. He was trying to hold back a full leak to no avail. Steve and Sam tried to pretend they didn't notice, wanting to let Bucky have his fun tonight without being overbearing. They smiled and looked about as they spun around several times. The warm liquid splashed against the padding violently. Bucky felt kind of turned on by the idea of leaking beside Steve and Sam without them knowing. Bucky was able to stop the leak from turning into a full blown accident but it only made him want to let go all the more. He could hold it. He kept telling himself.  
Next, the God dragged them onto the giant slide. They each had their own mat to slide down on. Nat, Bruce, and Thor went down first, racing to the bottom each in their own lane. Sam, Steve, and Bucky went after them. At the first bump in the slide Bucky felt himself let a little more urine loose in his diaper. Every bump after that drew out a few more drops. Bucky could feel them immediately soaking into the diaper. Every motion had him losing control. But he continued smiling, hiding his desperation.  
At the merry go round instead of choosing to sit in the carriage like Nat and Bruce, Thor, Steve, and Bucky took their place atop a horse. Sam sat this one out saying it made him too dizzy. Steve suspected it had more to do with the fact that maybe it wasn't the coolest ride for Sam to be seen on. Bucky found relief on his horse as he ground his crotch against the hard saddle. It helped him hold for a while but Thor did something silly toward the end of the ride that made Bucky laugh and he lost another long leak.  
He was barely holding on at this point and knew it was only a matter of time before he lost control completely. Luckily the next and final ride they bought tickets for was the ferris wheel. Nat and Bruce took the first car, then Steve, Sam, and Bucky; and Thor was in the third one. Despite the attendant urging Thor to sit it out due to his height. They went around a few times and Bucky wriggled between Sam and Steve. They each placed a hand on his thighs.  
"I leaked a lot already." He admitted, dropping his head.  
"That's okay." Steve comforted.  
"That's what these are for." Sam patted the front of the diaper.  
Bucky nodded. As they approached the top, the wheel stopped.  
"Look." Sam said. "We're stopped at the top." Bucky looked up finally, breathing rigid. He smiled as he looked out at the sea of lights and people below. The breeze prickled his skin and a wave of desperation hit him. He tried to draw his knees together but Steve and Sam were holding them open.  
"I c-can't hold it." He whispered.  
Then he sighed, feeling the liquid gush out of him finally.  
"I'm going. I can't stop it." He made sure to keep his voice low and quiet so no one would overhear.  
"Good boy." Sam whispered.  
Steve simply squeezed his leg and smiled, looking out over the ground.  
Bucky could feel the warmth spreading. The front of the diaper was full and he started to feel trickles of pee travel over his balls and soak into the back of the diaper.  
The car lurched forward leaving Thor at the very top.  
"Wow you guys. This view is amazing!"  
"Can't you fly?" Bruce called from the cart below them.  
"Yes, but I never look around."  
They all smiled in response.  
Bucky had finished by the time they got to the bottom. Standing at the entrance everyone said goodbye and parted ways. Bruce put his hand on the small of Nat's back as they walked away when they thought no one was looking. Thor wandered to the field and summoned mjolnir and promptly flew back to the tower. Steve smiled at Sam and Bucky. God did he love the Fourth of July.


	31. Subspace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is deep in subspace after the events at the carnival and on the train. But Steve and Sam take good care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many times can I apologize for my little trash project before it gets annoying?

They made quick work getting Bucky home. Sam held his hand and encouraged Steve to do the same. It wasn't good for Bucky to be out of the house and slipping into subspace like this. Once they reached their building Sam took Bucky on his back, piggy back style, and climbed the stairs.   
He took Bucky straight to the bedroom and lay him down on the bed and started removing his wet pants. Steve got a cloth from the linen closet in the bathroom and wet it with warm water to clean Bucky up. He was laying there bottomless, the cool air drying his skin. Sam grabbed another diaper after tossing the sodden one.   
"Before I put this one on do you have to go again?"   
Bucky rolled his eyes up and blushed.  
"Buck…?"   
"Maybe…"   
"Do you want to go in the potty then?"   
He shook his head. "I want to stay here with you guys."   
"Buck, nothing's going to happen while you're in there. We'll just sit here and wait."  
"No. I wanna cuddle." He whined.   
"It's okay." Steve put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "I'll change him when he's finished."   
Sam put the diaper on Bucky and dragged him up toward the pillows. Bucky situated himself and Steve and Sam each took their place on either side of him. He was on his back and they were on their sides, crossing their arms over his abdomen.   
Occasionally one of them would lightly trace their fingers over his torso, getting a small giggle out of him.   
"How are you feeling bud?" Steve finally asked.   
"I'm still holding it. I didn't have to go bad before, just a little."   
"Why don't you tell Stevie why you're holding it?"   
"I…" he began and stopped short. Sam nudged him on. "I like it… when I really gotta go. It feels good when I lose control." He hid his face behind his hands, blushing.   
Steve smiled and pulled his hands away.   
"Hey you. Don't hide that beautiful face. You wanna know something? I like it too. I like to watch you fight for control just to lose in the end. I like to take care of you bud."   
Bucky and Sam both smiled, marveling at Steve. As if he couldn't be more perfect, he goes and says some shit like that.   
"And you know what else? I love that Sam is here to help. I like that you trust him so much now. You see what I see in him finally. He's so good to us isn't he?"   
Bucky nodded and looked at Sam with big eyes. Sam melted. They pulled in closer to Bucky and squeezed him.  
"What was your favorite part tonight?" Sam asked Bucky.   
"Hmmm…" he thought. "When Stevie got excited about the fireworks! And I liked the slide too."  
They chuckled.   
"Uh-oh…" Bucky whispered. "I just went pee pee a little."   
"It's okay." Sam kissed his cheek. "Stevie is going to clean you all up when you're done."   
Bucky nodded and in the quiet stillness they heard the hiss of another leak shoot into the diaper. He smiled timidly.   
"I really have to go now. Really bad. Right now."   
Steve shivered at Bucky's words.   
"Why don't you try to hold it for Stevie and I? Just a little longer?"   
Bucky nodded. "Yes sir."   
"And tell us how you feel."   
"It feels full. Like if I press down on my tummy I'll go a lot."   
Steve moaned. Sam stiffened. Bucky smiled.   
"I have to go so bad I'm getting…" he stopped short of the word.   
"Your body does that to help you hold it bud." Sam reminded him.  
Bucky tossed the covers off them. "I want Stevie to see."   
Sam and Steve propped themselves up and looked down at Bucky's crotch.   
"It's coming out. I can't hold it anymore. Stevie, Daddy…"   
"Shhh." Sam hushed him and held his hand.  
Steve took his other hand.   
They watched as the front of the diaper grew dark. Bucky moaned in relief.   
When he was finished he noticed Steve's tent on the front if his pants.   
"Remember the time I saw you in the shower…?"   
"Yeah…" Sam started slowly.   
"Could… could I watch you…?"   
"Right now?"   
Bucky nodded. Steve and Sam exchanged a look.   
"Are you sure Buck?" Steve asked.   
"Yes." Bucky leaned back on the pillows.


	32. One of the team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some team bonding with a wet twist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone told me to stop apologizing and post more. TBH I had gotten wrapped up with some other stuff and forgot about this. So here is more!   
> Thanks for all the love yall, I really didn't expect anyone else in the world to like this stuff.

Steve decided the team could use some bonding. Everyone gathered at HQ for a day of "fun" team building games. Even Clint came as he often did despite his retirement. Steve also invited Scott and allowed Thor to bring Loki along. He had made reparations and was trying to be an actual member of the team. When he wasn't up to his old trickster antics that was. Although they were always in good fun.  
"I think, in order to make things fair we need to split up the regular partners. That means you 3 musketeers. And uh, those two love birds. And also the brothers." Tony clapped his hands together.  
"That means you don't get Rhody or Peter." Steve smiled.   
"Alright. Fine blondie." Tony shrugged.   
"So it'll be Tony, Sam, and Bruce on team red. Nat, Rhody, and me on team blue. And Thor, Buck, and Peter on yellow. And Loki, Scott, and Clint on the, uh… green team."   
They all nodded and grouped up. Thor put his arms around Bucky and Peters necks.   
"We are going to be the winning team!" He laughed. Peter smiled despite being nearly crushed. Bucky wiggled out of the grip.  
It was a simple enough game of capture the flag. There was a white flag in the middle of the field and each team had 2 of their colored flags hidden in the woods and throughout the building. There was also various paintball guns and ammo hidden on the land. The objective was to get the white flag and each of the teams' colored flags back to their sector. If you got hit by a paintball you had to stay down until someone from your team came to tag you. It had to be done within 90 seconds or you were permanently eliminated.   
"Do either of you know how to use a gun?" Bucky asked looking between his team mates.   
They both shook their heads.   
He turned to Steve raising a hand.   
"Can we have a moment to teach out teammates how to use our designated weapons?"   
Steve thought for a moment then, looking at the pairings, decided it would be allowable.   
"Alright they're all grouped together so when the horn sounds we'll all have time to go figure out the guns. Yeah?"   
Everyone nodded, squinting into the sunlight.   
Steve hit an air horn and everyone ran in the direction of their quadrants.   
Steve's team reached their base camp and loaded up their weapons. They had all had experience shooting a gun albeit not these ones.   
Tony's team was next to reach camp. Bruce was completely clueless and Tony seemed to fumble a little loading his weapon. Sam helped them both load the guns and showed them how best to hold them. But most importantly he had them aim and shoot at a tree to get down the motions.   
Next Bucky's team got to their weapons. Peter was surprisingly fast and agile, though Bucky should have known since they'd run together before. Thor was decently fast for his size, though he complained about not being able to fly.   
Bucky quickly loaded the guns, silently showing peter and Thor. He was intense when it came to competition, especially with Steve. He demonstrated how they should hold and aim. Peter was jostled a little by the kick back, a surprising kick for just a paintball gun. He eventually got the hang of it. Thor wasn't much for aiming so he preferred to just hold it by his waist and shoot at random. It might work, Bucky thought.   
Finally Clint's team got to their sector and started figuring out the guns. Loki would rather use mind tricks but he resolved to behave this time. Clint was better with a bow and arrow but he could use a gun. Scott had probably used a gun at some point in his criminal life. They figured things out on their own.   
Steve went to work organizing his team.   
"Alright so we'll stick together. I think that's best."   
"I agree." Nat slung the gun over her shoulder. "Rhody?"  
"Works for me." He finished loading up his gun and packed extra ammo in his backpack. Each group got a pack for extra ammo. They couldn't put the flags in it though. Those had to be displayed on their belts and could be stolen.   
Tony and his team decided to stay together as well. Bruce would take the pack.   
Clint, Scott, and Loki thought it best to split up. They were all well versed in camouflaging and sneaking around. Loki was in charge of getting the white flag and Clint and Scott would each find the green ones.   
Bucky, Peter and Thor debated splitting up. Bucky was much more accustomed to working alone but he knew it would be good to prove that he could work with a team. Ultimately they decided to stay together.   
Steve lead his team first to the colored flags, thinking it was the safest option. They didn't see anyone else on their way there.   
Tony decided they should get the white flag first. Unfortunately Bucky's team and Loki had the same plan.   
Loki hid himself behind a tree when he heard the other teams approaching. Unknowingly, Peter and Tony made a run for the flag at the same time. They came within feet of each other. Each pointing their guns at the other.   
Bucky watched from the edge of the trees. He knew Sam and Bruce were in the other treeline.   
"What do we do?" Thor whispered.   
"I don't know… let's just wait it out for a minute."   
"Kid…" Tony started moving toward the flag. "We both know you won't shoot me."   
Peter drew his gun up to his face to aim. "Do we?"   
"Okay. It's going to be like that then." Tony matched Peter's movement. They both reached for the flag. Neither one actually pulling the trigger. Sam got sick of waiting and aimed at Peter. He squeezed the trigger and hit Peter with red paint right on his chest.   
"Shit." Bucky whispered to Thor.   
"Mr. Stark?" Peter looked confused as he felt the paint on his chest. He fell dramatically to the ground.   
"Stay here." Bucky ordered Thor.   
Thor knelt to the ground attempting to stay hidden.   
Bucky burst through the trees, spraying a wall of paint at Tony. Tony was hit several times. Bucky ran to Peter's side, still aiming in the direction of the hit.   
"Sam. We've got to revive him." Bruce whispered.   
Sam sighed. "Fine. I'll do it. Stay here."   
Bucky drew his gun when he heard Sam emerge.   
This would be easy. Loki decided to just let the teams take each other out.   
Sam held his hands up. "Bucky. Let's just revive them and move on."   
Bucky nodded, helping Peter to his feet. Sam revived Tony. They backed away slowly in order to regroup.   
"You should have taken the shot." Tony reprimanded Sam.   
"I was trying to save you."   
"But you could have eliminated their strongest member."   
"You're welcome." Sam said walking away.   
"Hey guys." Bruce ran after them. "So now what?" 

"Thanks for saving me." Peter put his arm around Bucky's waist.   
He smiled at peter then at Thor. "You're my team. We finish the mission together. All of us."  
"That's the spirit!" Thor patted them both on the shoulder.   
They were deep in the woods when Bucky felt a wave of desperation hit him. He leaned forward against a tree and let out a jagged "hng" sound. Thor went to Bucky and knelt beside him.   
"Are you hurt?"   
Bucky shook his head. "No. Just need to catch my breath."   
Peter crept closer examining the situation. He could tell by Bucky's expression he needed to go.   
"Mr. Thor, why don't we keep watch and let Mr. Bucky rest a moment."   
Thor looked Bucky over and nodded. He took his time standing and Bucky couldn't hold it any longer. Thor caught his gaze and for a moment their eyes were locked. Bucky panicked, control was quickly slipping and the God of Thunder was looking him right in the eyes. Peter pulled on Thor's arm not a moment too soon as Bucky's bladder finally spilled over just as Thor turned away. He was only going to let out a small leak to regain enough control to keep moving.   
That plan was cut short by a noise in the woods. They took off in the opposite direction. Bucky couldn't stop the drips leaking out with every step. Finally they stopped and he regained composure.   
"Good?" Peter checked.   
"Good enough." Bucky nodded.   
Peter frowned at that. 

Steve's team had found their colored flags and were making a plan to get the white flag. But when they got there the white flag was gone. Bucky's team and Tony's team had regrouped and returned to the spot to retrieve the white flag, wanting to get that out of the way. The three teams all drew their weapons on each other. The shooting started and they all scattered. There was shouting but no one could tell where it was coming from. 

Peter went down, followed by Tony, then Thor, then Steve. Bruce was hit attempting to run away. Rhody went down fighting for his team. Somehow Sam, Nat, and Bucky got away, unable to save their teammates. Those that were taken down sat on the ground near where the white flag once flew. 

Bucky had started feeling the pressure in his bladder after saving Peter. But all the running around had done him no favors. He was padded for this instance but still didn't feel comfortable getting himself like that around people. Even if no one could tell.   
He was desperately looking for some place to be alone, to finally let go.   
He found solace in a dark corridor. Sitting against the cool cement wall, he let his head fall back.   
He sighed as the first bit leaked out. Relief.   
But that was soon interrupted by soft footsteps. 

Nat had been watching Bucky but when she saw him sit alone in the shadows she thought he might be overwhelmed or in need of help.   
She set the gun down and slid it toward him.   
"I come in peace."   
He clenched every muscle halting his stream painfully.   
He was panting, sweaty.   
"You okay?" She sat down against the same wall only 2 feet away.   
"Yeah." He gritted his teeth. "Just need a breather." His gun was at his side but he didn't reach for it.   
"Me too. Mind if I sit for a while?"   
"Uh…" he hesitated but didn't want her to suspect anything. "Be my guest."   
He thought she might move on after a moment but she didn't. She stayed. And he couldn't get up without losing control. She started chatting with him, making small talk about her time with Steve.   
He began getting frustrated. Why wouldn't she leave? He decided he could only do one thing. Get up and make it as far as he could into the woods. He tried to scramble to his feet but only landed on his knees. He let out a small noise.   
Nat went to him putting a hand on his back.   
"Are you okay?"   
"I'm… I'm… yeah. I'm fine. Just, think I pulled something out there."   
He felt a hot gush between his legs. There was a slight crinkle sound and he quickly began coughing to cover the sound. But the coughing only lead to more leaking. He was desperate, on the verge of a full blown accident, and Nat was there beside him, hand on his back. 

Sam was walking around the building when he heard coughing. It sounded like Bucky. He hurried down the corridor to find Bucky on his hands and knees with Nat resting a hand on his back. He could guess at what was happening. Sam ran to Bucky and Nat.  
"Hey… hey bud. Everything okay."  
Bucky looked at him with pleading eyes.   
"Hey Nat. Do you have any water in your pack? I think he's a little dehydrated." Sam winked at Bucky.   
Nat got up and ran the few feet to her pack. She happened to have a bottle of water in there. Steve's no doubt. While she was gone Sam stepped in, helping Bucky upright.   
"Finish quick." Sam whispered to Bucky.   
Bucky pressed hard on his bladder, emptying it in seconds.Faster than the diaper could absorb. It started pooling up around his tip which was pointed at the bottom of the diaper. He sat back on his heels hoping it would help direct the urine to a drier part of the padding.  
Natasha returned with the water and handed it over. Bucky took some of it down. Once he was okay again Sam pointed his gun at Nat and squeezed the trigger.   
"Sorry, but the games still on."   
He pointed it at Bucky.   
"You would shoot an unarmed man?"   
Sam kissed Bucky's nose. "Well you did RIP my wings off." He shot Bucky and ran off.  
"It was one time!"   
"The others are in the middle of the course!" He called running down the corridor.   
Nat and Bucky made their way slowly to the middle of the course.   
"You sure you're okay?" Nat kept asking him.   
"Yeah. I'm fine." He assured her.   
"You just seemed -"   
He turned and put a hand on her shoulder.   
"I said I'm fine."   
She pulled away. "Sorry."   
He turned away then back. "Its fine. I'm sorry. I just… I don't like feeling like everyone is constantly worried about me."   
They continued walking in silence.   
"I don't… I mean I'm not… worried that is."   
He said nothing only continued.   
"It's just, you know Steve. He just has us all on high alert. Like he always wants you to be safe and comfortable. I don't do this because I'm worried about you. I do it because I'm worried about him."   
Bucky sighed, dropping his defensive demeanor.   
"I just want to be part of the team. I want everyone to stop looking at me like I'm…"   
"Fragile? Dangerous? Untrustworthy?"   
He knew she understood.   
They reached the others who were laughing and talking.   
"Sam's still out there." Bucky informed Steve, who looked almost proud. "The coward shot me, unarmed."   
Nat took a seat near Bruce and Tony and Bucky plopped down beside Steve.   
Peter thought for a moment.   
"I haven't seen any of the green team."   
"They're probably inside watching the game." Tony observed, considering which three composed the team.   
Steve scoffed at the probable accuracy.   
That's when they heard it. The bell signaling the end of the game.   
They all got up and ran in the direction of the sound only to find the green team standing on the platform, victorious. Sam reached the sector moments after the rest of the group.   
He held two red flags in his hand.   
"Damn it." He tossed the flags to the ground.   
They congratulated the green team and moved into the building.   
"So that wasn't terrible. Right?" Steve asked.   
Bucky realized then that steve wanted him to be part of the team as much as he wanted to be.   
"It was good Steve." Bucky patted him on the chest.   
Nat smiled at them both.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's origin story?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are probably going to be some plot holes in here somewhere? I can't remember if I've given any back story but if I did plz ignore that and believe this one. Kthanks

T'challa and Shuri were coming to visit HQ. Bucky was mortified when he found out. Shuri had taken care of him pretty intimately and he wasn't sure he was ready for her to be around the rest of the team. She knew too many of his secrets.   
He wanted to stay hidden all day but Steve urged him to come out.  
"You should at least make an appearance for the people who helped you, who healed you."   
Bucky sighed and submitted. He knew he wouldn't be able to argue his way out of this one.   
He placed nervously all morning.   
"What's the big deal anyway? She took care of you."   
"That's it. She knows things…. She's seen things…"   
"That's annoyingly vague." Sam stated.   
He was lounging on the bed.   
"A lot happened that you don't know about. Embarrassing things. She knows, Steve. She's the one who made the suggestion."   
Steve sat Bucky down on the bed. "Why don't you tell us? You're safe here. We need to know."   
So Bucky started telling them. 

It started when he woke up after being frozen again.   
When he came to he had tubes in him everywhere. Shuri was there. She helped him sit up and drink some water. She explained to him where he was and calmed him down.   
"We'll call Steve later." She said.   
She explained all the wires and tubes and helped him figure out his new arm.   
When he was strong enough to get up and walk she started removing some of them. Of course the monitors for his vitals had to stay on. But she took out the i.v. and the catheter.   
That's when Bucky almost died of embarrassment. As she started taking the tube out of him he felt a sudden urge to go. He tried to stop it but his muscles weren't strong enough. Luckily she was cool about it. Very professional.   
"That's okay." She comforted him as he turned his face not wanting her to see him tear up.   
He had only just met this girl and he was peeing on her. She showed him to the toilet and proceeded to strip the bed. He returned some time later, still red in the face. But Shuri had gone. He got into the bed and lay down, still feeling drowsy. He stuck a few pads back on, like she showed him, and clamped something onto his finger. It wasn't long before he dozed back off.   
When he woke again someone was shaking his shoulder. He opened his eyes to see Shuri. He felt peaceful for a moment until he realized there was a hotness spreading across his leg. He sat up quickly, not thinking, and a stream of urine arched up out of the blanket.   
"No." He clenched his jaw. He moved his metal hand to his crotch wanting to clamp himself shut.   
"Don't do that Sergeant Barnes." Shuri stopped his hand. "You'll hurt yourself. And I'm not trying to keep fixing you. Just finish up anyway."   
He hung his head in shame as his stream slowed to a stop.   
"Go get cleaned up. I'll take care of this."   
He shuffled to the bathroom and changed his clothes. She changed the sheets once more. When he returned she motioned for him to sit on the bed.   
"Have you had this problem before?"   
"No… well… yes I suppose."   
"Well is it yes or no?"   
"Not before hydra. But then they…" he trailed off.   
"That's okay. You've been through a lot recently your muscles might just need time to adjust."   
She brought out a package of diapers.   
"Until then, I would like you to wear these."   
Bucky started shaking his head and turning pink.   
"I know, I'm sorry but I can't put the tube back in, it would risk an infection. And we can't keep doing this." She gestured to the bed.   
"No one will even know. Besides you don't have to use them. It's just in case."   
Bucky sighed and took them from her.   
"I won't check or anything but we only have so many sheets you know so please just…"   
He nodded, hair falling in his face.   
Steve is going to Skype us in a few moments okay?"   
"Skype?"   
"It's a video thing. I'll leave you for now and be back when it's time."   
Bucky meandered into the bathroom to put on a diaper. He didn't like the idea but it was better than Shuri - or worse, someone else - seeing him wet himself like that again.   
Shuri returned with a computer and sat it on Bucky's lap. Steve's face was there smiling at him.   
Bucky smiled, eyes welling with tears. "Steve." He whispered.   
"Aww, hey Buck. Don't cry okay? I'll see you soon."   
Bucky gasped and looked at Shuri.   
"It's not a recording, he can see and hear you too." She smiled.   
"Steve?" Was all Bucky could say.   
"Hey pal. When you're all fixed up I'm going to come get you, alright?"   
Bucky nodded, tears falling from his eyes. Steve wiped at his own eyes.   
"Are you adjusting okay?"  
Bucky nodded, still amazed.   
"That's good. Shuri is going to take good care of you. Her and T'challa. Alright? And I'll come see you soon."   
"Okay." Bucky finally said.   
He started noticing a warmth between his legs and froze up. His face contorted.   
"Hey, you okay?" Steve could see Bucky's expression shift.   
Bucky dropped his chin to his chest and fought back tears. He was wetting a diaper while Steve talked to him. Steve would never love him. Not like this.   
He finally took a breath, repressing a sob.   
Shuri stepped in. "It's a lot to adjust to. I think he just needs some time."   
Steve nodded, understanding. Technology is a lot to take in.   
"Maybe we can try again in a few days."   
"Alright. Sounds good. I miss you, Buck." Steve waved over the camera.   
Bucky couldn't hold back his sobs. He missed the old Bucky. Not this new pathetic one.   
~~~  
"That's what was happening?" Steve felt stupid. "I'm so sorry buck. I had no idea."   
"I know." Bucky simply stated.   
"But now, it's different. Now you know."  
"Yeah, but she knows about me. What if it slips out? What if everyone finds out?"   
"She won't buck. She's kept your secret this long." 

The sound of familiar voices drew Steve and Sam's attention.   
Steve looked at Bucky and offered a hand. Bucky took it and they exited the room together.  
Once all the greetings and formalities were over Shuri pulled Bucky aside.   
"Is there somewhere private we can talk?"   
Bucky showed her to one of the interrogation rooms.   
They sat face to face and Shuri brought up a screen from her bracelet.   
"How have you been?"   
"Alright…" Bucky kept his voice low.   
"I see you recently had an infection?"   
"How do you…?"   
"I've asked Steve to keep me up to speed on any medical issues that come up. So what was that about?"   
"I uh… just had a little UTI. It wasn't a big deal."  
"You're fever was at 102. That is a big deal. Are you still having problems?" She raised her eyebrows.   
"No!" He looked around, softening his voice. "It wasn't that… I'm not… no."   
"Bucky, you cannot lie to me. You know I can do a full body scan right now where we sit."  
"Fine." He leaned in close. "Yes I - I still have some issues. Sometimes. But sometimes it's… less involuntary."   
"Woah. Okay I don't need to get all up in your business like that."  
"Well you asked." Bucky started to blush.   
"When it is involuntary what usually happens?"  
She started typing on the screen.   
"I… I don't know."   
She looked at him seriously.   
He sighed and tapped his fingers on the table.   
"I guess when I have a nightmare or when the anxiety comes back."   
"How has that been?" She continued typing on the screen.   
"Better. I guess. I still have moments. Sometimes I have flashbacks. Not as often anymore though."   
"And the flashbacks. What triggers them? Do you tell Steve?"   
"No! You can't tell them. I haven't told them."   
"Them?”  
“Steve and Sam… I thought you knew."   
"No. That's news to me." She typed in some more info. "Okay so it's really only triggered by a stress response?"   
"Well, no not always. Sometimes I just don't notice or I can't hold it very long. Sometimes I can't go in public and then…"   
"Right. Okay. Well, thanks for letting me check in." She collapsed the screen.   
Bucky nodded.   
"But be more careful. That infection could seriously have done damage."   
They let themselves out of the room and joined the others in the sitting room.   
Bucky wiggled his way in between Steve and Sam. Each put an arm around him.   
Bucky was mentally exhausted from his conversation with Shuri and just wanted to retreat to his room. He wanted to be in a small space, under some blankets. But he wanted to be there with Steve and Sam. He wanted to prove that he could be normal for once.   
The group at HQ today was small. Bruce, Nat, and Tony were there to greet the Wakandan guests. Bucky pulled his legs up to his chest and hugged them, trying to slow his heart rate.   
Why was this happening now? Not today.   
Steve took note and played his finger over Bucky's shoulder.   
Bucky sighed shakily. He tried so hard to regulate his breathing but it wasn't working. He blinked hard trying to stay in reality.   
Bruce glanced at Bucky every now and then, noticing his uneasy demeanor.   
"Hey steve, why don't you take him to your room? I think he could use a break."   
Steve looked down at Bucky who was pale. His eyes looked distant.   
"Hey pal." Steve gently nudged bucky. "Let's go."   
Steve and Sam stood up and lifted Bucky by the elbows. As soon as he stood, however, his knees went weak and his vision darkened around the edges.   
After that everything became a blur.   
He began mumbling, unsure what he was trying to actually say. Some of it came out in English, some in Russian.   
Shuri and Bruce rushed to him as Steve and Sam eased him to the ground. Shuri did a quick scan.   
"His heart rate is severely elevated. I think he's having a panic attack."   
"What happened in there?" Steve demanded.  
"I don't know… nothing. He was fine I just examined him. It was only a progress report."   
Steve tried talking to him but he just kept whispering in Russian. Nat listened but hung back.   
"Let's just get him somewhere quiet." Sam urged Steve.   
They both knew how these things went and were attempting to spare Bucky. They dragged him off to their room. They stripped off his clothes and put him on the bed covering him with the blanket he got from Peter first and then a heavier one. Steve handed him his dolphin and got in bed facing him. Sam cuddled up against his back.   
They took turns stroking his hair and saying calming little phrases. They'd come to learn which ones worked best for him.   
Finally he came back out of the fog. It felt like he'd been sleeping. First his vision got clearer. Then he felt the heaviness of the blankets, the warmth of Steve and Sam's bodies, and the softness of the dolphin.   
Then he felt the heaviness in his bladder. His heart pounded in his head as he struggled to get up.  
"Shhh shhh." Steve held him down.   
"Just let it happen. Let us take care of you now. It's okay."   
"No. No. I'm pathetic… I was doing so good." He cried.   
"And you're still doing good." Sam hushed. "You can't control your trauma okay? You never know when it might pop up."   
"A lot has happened the last few days. It's okay to be overwhelmed." Steve moved in closer.   
He could feel the warmth expanding against his leg.   
Bucky gulped at the air rubbing his face on the pillow to remove the tears. He sniffed letting out a big sigh.   
A knock on the door startled them. Sam got up to see who it was.   
Steve moved the hair from Bucky's face and kissed his nose then his forehead. He stayed like that, lips pressed to Bucky's forehead for a few moments.   
Sam spoke softly to Shuri who had come to check on Bucky.   
"He's resting now. It's just a lot."   
"Yeah."   
"He still gets overwhelmed. It's a lot less frequent, but it happens."   
"He mentioned he still has some flashbacks. Do you guys know about them?"   
Sam glanced at the bed then stepped into the hall with Shuri.   
"He hasn't mentioned anything to us in a while."   
"He made it seem like there's only been very few lately but keep an eye on him. We can always send him back under again if it gets bad."   
"No. I don't think that will be necessary."   
She nodded and left but as Sam turned to open the door Natasha was there with her hand on the knob.   
"Not so fast Wilson."   
"Nat. What's wrong?"   
"You tell me. Barnes was speaking in Russian out there. What's this big secret?"   
He sighed. "Its nothing, just personal."   
"Personal?" She quirked an eyebrow. "Teams don't keep secrets."   
"Oh? So you're little affair with Banner, that's not a secret?"   
She blushed "that's different."   
"Why? Because one of you isn't a deadly spy with a mysterious past? Wait… nope… that's you."   
"Sam." He opened the door to sneak in.   
She pushed it open further, not done with the discussion.   
Steve was getting Bucky in position to put fresh padding on him when the door swung wide. Thinking quickly, Steve put the blanket over Bucky. All Nat saw was Steve on his knees in front of the bed and Bucky lying mostly naked aside from a blanket covering his midsection on the edge of the bed.   
Sam pushed her back into the hall. "You need to leave."   
"I'm sorry." She pressed her back to the wall. "I didn't mean to, its…"   
Sam shut the door and went to help Steve.   
"She didn't see anything. It's okay."


	34. Two boys from Brooklyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No smut, just domesticated bliss.

Sam stayed at HQ for a few days to work on a few things with Shuri and Tony. Steve and Bucky returned to the apartment to lay low for a while. Routine was good for Bucky.  
Bucky awoke one morning to the sound of the bathroom door slamming.  
When steve didn't return for a while Bucky went to the door to ask Steve if he was okay when he heard the awful coughing.  
He knocked. "Steve?"  
Steve opened the door short of breath.  
"Hey, sorry did I wake you?" He wheezed.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Yeah. Yeah I'm totally fine pal. Why don't you head back to -" he started coughing again. He stumbled back into the bathroom and sat on the toilet lid. Bucky came in after him and closed the door softly.  
He touched Steve's forehead. "You're hot steve."  
"Well thanks buck but I'm not sure now's the time." Steve smiled taking a shaky breath.  
"No. Steve, you're burning up. Seriously. I didn't think super soldiers got sick."  
Steve's breathing was shallow.  
"How long have you been feeling sick?" Bucky ran a cloth under cool water.  
"I don't know, I just had a little tickle in my throat the last few days." Steve shrugged.  
Bucky folded the cloth and held it to Steve's forehead.  
"I'm going to call Bruce."  
"No, no. It's okay. I'll just take it easy today, take something for the fever."  
Bucky pressed his mouth tight but agreed.  
"You need to come back to bed then. Let me get you some water."  
Steve nodded. Bucky helped him back to bed and wandered into the kitchen.  
Steve was asleep when he returned with some water, a cup of tea, and a few Tylenol.  
"Steve." He shook him gently.  
Steve groaned as he rolled over. Bucky was sitting on the edge of the bed smiling down at him.  
"I brought some medicine for the fever. And some tea for your throat."  
Steve sat up and took the pills. Then he took the tea cup.  
"Where'd this come from?" He looked at the cup.  
"Do you like it? I found it once when I was out with Sam."  
Steve smiled. "It looks just like…"  
"Your mom's." Bucky smiled down at Steve.  
"I wanted a whole set. But this was the only one."  
"Its beautiful, Buck."  
Steve sipped from the cup while Bucky sat beside him. When he was done Steve lay his head in Bucky's lap. Bucky stroked Steve's hair.  
"This feels familiar." He laughed. "You would always get sick. Remember?"  
"Yeah. Yeah."  
"And I would always have to take care of you. My little Stevie. Man have things changed. Now look at us."  
"Now I get to take care of you." Steve coughed. "Well usually."  
"Shhh. It's okay Stevie. Go to sleep now."  
Steve dozed off warm beside Bucky. When he woke up Bucky was nowhere to be found. Steve started panicking but then he heard the jingle of keys in the door. Bucky came in holding a brown paper bag.  
"Buck. Where were you?"  
"I just ran down to the corner store. We didn't have the stuff to make chicken soup."  
"But we have cans of soup in the cupboard."  
"Well now Steve, that's not the kind of soup that will make you all better. It's not like what your mom made."  
"But it's so busy out there how did you…?"  
"It was tough." Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve's shoulders which now had a blanket draped over them. "But for you, I would do anything."  
Steve sighed and let his body melt into Bucky's.  
"Alright. You sit. I'm going to cook."  
"Do you remember -"  
"Yes. Now sit. Rest." Bucky called over his shoulder on his way to the kitchen.  
Steve zoned out looking at some black and white film on the television. He lost track of time but it seemed only a moment before Bucky was returning with a bowl of soup in his hands. He plopped down next to Steve and handed him the bowl gingerly.  
"What about you?"  
"I'll get mine later. You just eat now."  
Steve ate slowly. His throat was raw from all the coughing and it hurt a little to swallow. Once he had finished Bucky took the bowl to the sink and washed it up. He ate his own bowl quickly in the kitchen and returned to the couch. Steve felt cooler now and it seemed his throat had been soothed by the broth. Bucky looked at him curled up on the end of the couch.  
"Come here you." He dragged Steve over to him pulling him up into his lap.  
They were about the same height now but the way Steve curled into Bucky he saw the small kid that used to constantly be sick. The kid who always had bruises and black eyes because he just didn't know when to quit. The kid Bucky looked out for, defended, and fell in love with.  
He so rarely saw that side of Steve anymore. So much had changed, they had both certainly changed. But somewhere inside, buried under all the new stuff, they were them. The two boys from Brooklyn who fell in love, who followed each other into battle, who took care of each other when the rest of the world wouldn't.


	35. Trip pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to our regularly scheduled smut with some added fluff. Sam and Steve and Bucky take a trip

After about a week Sam came back. It was late at night when he got to the apartment. He opened the door quietly so as to not wake Bucky and Steve. To his surprise he heard laughing coming from the bedroom. He crept closer to the bedroom and peeked in the open door.   
"This blanket ain't big enough for the two of us, Steve."   
The blanket that usually adorned their bed was strung up by all four corners to the bed posts. Sam laughed quietly as he snuck into the room. They must have spent all day watching westerns.   
Drawing up one side of the blanket he held up some finger guns.   
"There's a new sheriff in town."   
They were startled at first but quickly recognized Sam's voice. Bucky latched onto Sam.   
"We've missed you!" He planted a kiss on Sam's cheek.   
"I missed you guys too. Tony kept me busy though. I got to test out some new equipment."   
"Sounds like fun." Steve lounged back on the pillows.   
"In fact he was hoping you two would want to try out a few new things." Sam went to the dresser to put his things down.   
"Maybe." Steve spoke slowly. "Eventually. I think a break would be good for us now."   
"Yeah I heard you weren't feeling well."   
Steve looked at Bucky who blinked furiously at Steve. He pushed Bucky's head. "Narc."   
"You're feeling better though?" Sam was concerned.   
"Yeah. I had a good doctor." He winked at Bucky.   
"Alright…" Sam was apprehensive.   
Maybe Steve was right. Maybe they needed a break. No stress, no missions, no meetings, no appearances to keep up. Just the three of them relaxing for a week or so.   
The next morning Sam called Tony. He excused himself to the hall to make the call, making some excuse about the TV being too distracting or something.   
Steve shrugged and hugged Bucky closer to him. It was rainy outside, the perfect day to stay curled under a blanket.   
Sam returned and joined them on the couch with his laptop.   
They didn't pay much attention to what he was doing until he slammed it closed and proclaimed they were going somewhere.   
"We're going on vacation."   
Steve scrunched up his face in confusion.   
"We need a break. All of us. So, I called Tony and he has a beach house on some island somewhere. I just bought some plane tickets." He nodded, proud of himself.   
Steve smiled down at Bucky. "Looks like we need to pack."   
Bucky was the first to get up and make his way to the bedroom. Steve leaned over to Sam and kissed him.   
"Thank you."   
They were packed and on the way to the airport that night. It was an overnight flight so the airport was dead.   
They were in their seats in the mostly empty airplane. Bucky sat by the window and Steve sat between him and Sam who was on the aisle.   
Most of the people had headphones on and a few had something covering their eyes. The safety directions were given and they settled in for the long trip. Bucky watched the lights grow smaller as they ascended.   
He quickly fell asleep but woke up after an hour or so to a heaviness in his bladder. He looked over at Sam and Steve who were fast asleep.   
They looked so cute so Bucky took a picture. Steve was leaned over on Sam who had his hat pulled down over his eyes. He didn't want to disturb them, so he decided to wait. He dozed back off for a while but woke up again 29 minutes later to movement. Steve and Sam were also awoken by the jostling.   
The pilot came on the intercom to tell the plane they were experiencing some turbulence and that everyone would have to stay seated and buckled until further notice.   
Bucky cursed himself for not going to the bathroom when he had the chance.   
"Its okay." Steve whispered noticing Bucky white knuckling the arm rests. "Just some turbulence."   
"It's not that." He choked out.   
"He okay?" Sam checked.   
Steve nodded, raising one eyebrow.   
Bucky was fine. He could wait. He sure kept telling himself that. The seat belt signs would be off soon enough. Then he could land with a dry diaper.   
But the seat belt signs didn't come off soon enough. In fact for the rest of the flight they never went off. And Bucky couldn't wait. He imagined the sign turning off just in time for him to run to the toilet. He dreamed of freeing himself from the diaper and letting go in the toilet. The sound of trickling water echoed through his head.   
Despite his pep talk to himself and moral support from Sam and Steve Bucky lost control slowly.   
It started with a little leak. Just to get some relief. But that leak turned into more leaks and in spite of himself he started fully wetting.   
The first leak felt good. He shivered a little telling himself he would cut the stream off once some of the pressure was off his bladder. It worked. He felt a little dampness between his legs but nothing too embarrassing.   
Then the plane jostled some more, making the seat belt cut into his bladder. That time the leak was involuntary. His bladder seemed endless. He would let out a little and feel momentary relief only for it to fill back up within seconds. The more he leaked, the more he had to go.   
He was looking out the window and holding Steve's hand when it happened. His grip tightened momentarily then loosened. He tried to pull it away but Steve wouldn't let go.   
Steve's thumb ran gently over his hand.   
He still fought to regain control but it wasn’t working. The last 20 minutes he spent letting out little spurts did nothing to lessen the volume his bladder was holding. It came slowly spilling out into the front. Once the front was completely soaked he could feel the back swelling up.   
The flight attendant came around to see if anyone who was awake wanted any drinks or snacks.   
"I'm all set are you guys good?" Sam looked over.   
Steve politely shook his head. But Bucky couldn't look away from the window.   
"He's fine too." Sam said. Then he whispered "flying makes him a little nervous."   
She nodded and smiled before moving on.   
Finally the pilot made an announcement that they would be landing in 15 minutes.   
Just 15 more minutes before Bucky could get off this plane and head to the nearest restroom to change out of his wet mess.   
His cheeks heated up with embarrassment at the thought.   
They landed safely and as they stood Bucky quickly looked down to check for leaks.   
"You're good." Steve assured him.   
Once they were off the plane Bucky ran to the bathroom. Steve decided to wait for him while Sam headed toward baggage claim.   
Bucky’s bladder had already started to fill back up by the time he got to the restroom. But the diaper warranted privacy. He was crossing his legs tight as he locked the door. He unzipped his pants and barely got the diaper undone when an unexpected jet shot out. It loudly spattered on the floor. He couldn’t think so he just decided to sit down so he could wrap up the diaper and not have to worry about aiming. Moving quickly he sat on the seat and pointed his penis down into the bowl as more started to leak from him.   
Once he was locked in the stall and had the diaper off Bucky texted Steve.   
*  
Did you bring any extras?  
*  
No… sorry I thought you wouldn't want the carry on to have an adult diaper in it.   
*  
But what about underwear?  
*  
I didn't even think about it. Sorry!   
*  
Bucky sighed and did up his pants, joining Steve outside the restroom.   
They met up with Sam by the baggage carousel.   
"Why's he so pouty?" Sam asked Steve pointing a thumb at Bucky.   
"I forgot to put underwear in the carry on."   
They both chuckled a bit before grabbing their bags and heading out the front doors.


	36. Trip pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky tell Sam a story.

After taking a boat to the island and tossing their things on the bed the three were changed and lying in the sun on the beach. Bucky looked around at Steve who was reading a book. He had folded over the front cover and was holding it in his right hand. His left arm reached above his head resting on the top of the lounge chair. Occasionally he would bring his thumb down to his tongue and wet it, turning a page.   
Sam was on Bucky's left. He was stretched out in a similar lounge chair. Both his hands were behind his head. His dark shades were covering his eyes.   
Bucky smiled before leaning back in his own chair, arms beside him.   
"So…" Sam began. "How did you find out?"   
Steve put his book down and turned on his side.   
"I mean. I don't think you told me how it all started." Sam continued.   
"Well… as you know it started for Bucky before me." Steve started. "But the first time I visited Bucky… I knew something was up. I mean I knew things were different, would be different when he came back up. But this seemed, I don't know, he was hiding something. It's hard to explain."   
Steve stopped for a moment and looked at Bucky.   
"Is this okay?"   
"Yeah. I'm okay."   
"We skyped every night. Things would be fine until they weren't. We would be talking smiling then all of a sudden he would clam up. I chalked it up to him being overwhelmed. But I couldn't wait to see him. To just be in his presence again. Well I went to visit anyway. When I got there he was still in rough shape. He was adjusting to his new arm, still hooked up to all these machines."   
"He teared up when he saw me." Bucky interjected. "He tried to turn away so I wouldn't see but I could tell."   
Steve smiled at Bucky. "Yeah. I mean it was emotional. I wanted to just hug him. To hold him in my arms again. But I didn't want to move too fast so I just sat beside the bed. We sat quiet for a long time."   
"Then he finally got the courage to ask how I was doing." Bucky laughed.   
"Yeah. Yeah." Steve rolled his eyes. "Then we kind of had a conversation. Until he got all weird again. His face dropped the way it did on the computer. I just couldn't stand to see him like that. The monitor started beeping. I didn't know what to do so I climbed up on to the bed and pulled him in close. His body was stiff and his skin was so clammy. I didn't know what was happening. I thought it was just a panic attack."   
"It was. Because the only person I'd ever loved was lying next to me while I wet myself. It was embarrassing. I couldn't control my own bladder. I felt like a child. There was nothing I could do either except lay there and let it happen. If I moved I risked Steve finding out. So I just stayed still while he cuddled up to me."   
"When I left that night I felt uneasy. I didn't want to leave him there like that but I knew he wasn't ready. We continued skyping and it seemed like he was starting to feel a little better. One day at a time. I kept telling myself. Finally I went to visit him and asked if he would come back home with me. He got quiet and I thought maybe it was me. I was moving too fast. Maybe he didn't feel the same way anymore. So I apologized and said, never mind."   
"I knew I couldn't stay in Wakanda forever. Eventually I'd have to go home, wherever that was. But Steve, he gave me a home. He was my home. But I was afraid. He was going to find out. He wasn't ready to take care of me. I was a grown man who needed to be cared for, and the me he knew before was gone. But I stuffed all that down and said okay. Because I wanted to feel like I belonged again. I thought I could figure out the rest. I would just excuse myself frequently to use the bathroom, blame it on a nervous bladder."   
"At first that worked. We came back home. He was timid and retreated a lot to the bedroom or bathroom. I didn't mind. It was kind of like having a new cat."   
They chuckled at each other.   
"But I noticed he wouldn't sleep much. And he often refused to drink throughout the day. It started taking its toll. He was so weak, exhausted and dehydrated. He would get touchy any time I tried to bring it up so I didn't. I thought he could just handle himself. And he did for a little while. But one night I think it all came crashing down on him."   
~~~  
The exhaustion finally wore Bucky down and he fell asleep. Like into a really deep sleep. Steve cuddled up to him and started to drift off too. About 2 hours later Steve woke up to a knee in the stomach. He knew it was a nightmare. Bucky was making these awful sounds and twisting around. Steve tried to wake him up but he was deep in it. So he just held Bucky tight and rode it out with him. The crying, the shouting, the relentless straining against Steve's grasp. He didn't want Bucky to hurt himself. They're tamer now than they once were. Finally it seemed to subside and his body relaxed a little. But Steve noticed something. His leg felt a little wet. Just a sort of dampness in one spot. He thought it must be sweat.   
That's when Bucky opened his eyes and tried to push against Steve. Steve just pulled him closer and hushed him. He told him he was having a nightmare but it was over now and it was just the two of them. Bucky shook his head furiously.   
"No Steve. Let me go. I have to go."   
"Go where?" Steve was confused.  
Bucky felt a deep blush grow across his body. The shame he felt took over. He started to cry.   
"Hey shhhhh. Buck it's me. What's wrong?"   
"I have to *go* steve."   
The way he emphasized go finally made it click for Steve.   
"Okay pal." He loosened his grip. "You can go ahead then."   
Bucky shook his head again and sniffed. "I… I won't make it now…"   
Steve's heart ached at Bucky's words. He pulled Bucky close to him, sealing their bodies together. Running a hand through Bucky's hair, he kissed his forehead.   
"It's okay. Just go and I'll clean it up."   
"No. No, Steve. I'm an adult. I - I should be able to hold it." As he said the words he lost control.   
Steve pressed Bucky's face to his chest as he sobbed.   
He could feel the wet heat growing across his crotch.   
"It's okay." Was all Steve could say over and over between top of the head kisses.   
They stayed like that for at least 3 minutes, the whole time Bucky was wetting.   
Once the stream had subsided Steve moved gently to get out of the bed. He removed his pants and threw them in the laundry. He encouraged Bucky up and into the bathroom where he turned on the shower. He left Bucky to disrobe and get into the shower.   
Steve returned to the bed and quickly stripped the sheets and mattress protector off, putting fresh ones on.   
After a moment he decided to join Bucky in the shower. When he stepped into the foggy stall he saw Bucky sitting on the ground under the cascading water. His head was resting on his folded arms and his shoulders were shaking. Steve joined him on the ground.   
"Hey Buck…"   
He wouldn't look up.   
"Listen it's okay. I know it's a lot of stress and change for your body. You couldn't help it. I'm not mad."  
"I know." Bucky's voice was so small. "I know you're not mad."   
"Well then what are you beating yourself up about?"   
"I'm not the same, Steve. I'm not who you remember. I'm … I'm broken."   
"Hey. I'm not the same anymore either. We've both been through a lot. You know? We don't have to be those people anymore."   
Steve helped Bucky to his feet. In the dim light of the shower Steve noticed some scars. Some looked like bite marks on his arm, some were fresh scratches. He had bruises that looked like fingerprints and fists on his thighs.   
"Bucky… what are all these?" Steve asked tracing a finger over some of the marks.   
Bucky looked away.   
"Hey. Are you doing this? Are you hurting yourself?"   
Bucky started to cry again. "I'm bad and I need to be punished."   
"Bucky, no." Steve took him in his arms. "No you don't. You're good."   
Bucky shook his head. "I wet the bed."   
"So?"   
"It's bad. It's… I would get punished… it's so hard I can't hold it sometimes Steve. I should be able to. I should be punished so I learn how to."   
"Oh Buck. No sweetheart." Steve stroked Bucky's hair. "You will never be punished again. Okay? Not by me. Not by anyone. I won't let anything or anyone else hurt you."   
Steve didn't let on when he felt Bucky let go again in the shower. It was no big deal really.   
Bucky felt comfortable for a change. He was leaning most of his weight on Steve. His head cradled in Steve's shoulder. He didn't notice the release in his body at first. It wasn't until the stream hit his foot. His breathing hitched and he tried to pull back but Steve just pulled him closer. The tip was pressed against Steve's thigh and Bucky was trying hard to stop his stream but he couldn't. The warmth cascaded down Steve's leg as Bucky cried harder into Steve's neck.   
"You're so good." Steve whispered.   
After the shower Steve got Bucky in dry clothes and into bed. The crying had taken a lot out of him and he was still exhausted from not sleeping well. Steve, however, couldn't sleep. He lay there worrying about Bucky. A million thoughts raced through his head. Maybe he should call Shuri and see if she had a solution. Maybe he should just let Bucky tell him. He couldn't bare to see Bucky like that again, that he knew for sure.


	37. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is still part of the flashback Bucky and Steve were telling Sam.

Steve waited it out. He let Bucky have some space for a few days, not wanting to push him too hard.   
Bucky didn't know what to do but he wanted to avoid a situation like that ever again. He remembered the box of diapers he'd packed in his bag and hidden from Steve in the back of the closet. As much as it was embarrassing to possibly wear a diaper it was something he had to risk. He couldn't pee all over Steve or his bed again and he couldn't keep avoiding sleep. One afternoon while Steve was getting the mail Bucky slipped into the back of the closet and retrieved a diaper.   
In the bathroom he held it in his shaking hands he set it on the counter and slid his pants down over his feet. He sighed and pulled the diaper up over his knees, pausing before encapsulating his midsection in the thick padding. Without warning, Steve had quietly slipped back into the apartment and as Bucky turned to pick up his pants he noticed Steve standing in the doorway. His body turned red and without even grabbing his pants Bucky shoved Steve out of the way on his way out. Bucky went to the closet and crawled to the back corner.   
Steve collected himself after being pushed into the door frame and thought about what he'd just witnessed. He was glad Bucky had something that would help him from the embarrassment but of course he imagined this would be a bit embarrassing too.   
At first Steve tried to ease Bucky out. Gently encouraging him with kind words. But that didn't work and after 20 minutes of sitting cross legged on the floor beside the closet Steve knew he had to try a new approach. Bucky was used to answering orders and as uncomfortable as Seve felt giving orders to Bucky, he knew it was the only way he could help him.   
So Steve stood up and he cleared his throat.   
"Bucky Barnes. Get out of there this instant." It felt uncomfortable and parenty, but he heard movement inside the closet.   
Bucky could sense some hesitation in Steve's voice but he knew better than to ignore even a pathetic attempt at an order.   
He crawled out into the big room but stayed seated on the ground.   
"Up." Was all Steve said.   
Bucky stood dutifully.   
Steve looked down at his face and kissed his nose.   
"I don't like commanding you Bucky. I don't want to do it. But if it's the only way to keep you safe then that's just what's going to happen."   
Bucky nodded at him feeling broken but also comfortable.   
"I'll never make you do anything you don't want to do. But we need to have a word in case something goes too far. Okay?"   
Bucky decided cryo would be his safe word.   
Steve sat on the bed and beckoned Bucky over.   
"Now tell me about them."   
"Shuri… when I woke up. I couldn't control it. So she gave me these. Just to help in the meantime. It wasn't meant to be long term. But they're kind of - comfortable. I mean… it's nice not having accidents. Like last night. But I still… Steve you don't understand. I need someone who can, you know. To tell me what to do. I need orders. I'm not good without them. I need to do what you tell me."   
There it was. Steve nodded. He hated the thought but more than that he hated the scars on Bucky's body. He would do whatever he had to to keep Bucky safe now.   
"I want you to go in them. And I want to watch." Steve leaned back on the bed.   
Bucky shook his head.   
"That's an order Buck. I can tell you have to go."   
Bucky looked down and let his shoulders drop.   
"Not there." Steve spoke up.   
He patted his legs.   
Bucky chewed on his cheek. He couldn't. But Steve was looking at him with a deadpan expression. Bucky climbed on top of Steve and let his full weight rest on his hips.   
"Go." Was all Steve said.   
Bucky looked down at the diaper feeling the urine pressing down on the tip. He held his breath as the first little bit came out. He froze up at the feeling. He attempted to pull his legs together but Steve reached down and held his knees wide. Bucky grabbed a fistful of his own hair and began pulling on it.   
"Bucky, no! Stop it now!" Steve sat up and reached for Bucky's hand.   
The movement forced Bucky's legs wider. Steve stopped Bucky's hands on their way to his crotch. He held Bucky's wrists near his thighs.   
"Look at me."   
Bucky was struggling to hold on to control and Steve wanted to look him in the eyes.   
Breathing heavily from straining against Steve, Bucky looked up. His jaw was tensed, sweat glistened on his face. Some of his hair stuck to the moist skin on his forehead.   
"You cannot hurt yourself anymore. Understand? You are not pathetic, or disgusting, or any of the other horrible things you've said about yourself. You are perfect and I love you."   
Bucky stopped struggling against Steve. He relaxed into Steve's body. It didn't take long for Steve to feel the warmth coming from Bucky's diaper.   
"There. Isn't that better?" Steve rubbed small circles on Bucky's back. "You're a good boy for listening to me. Shall I give you a reward?"   
Bucky was silent, he didn't actually know if he deserved a reward. He didn't usually get them.   
"I think you should get a reward." Steve finally decided. He rolled Bucky over onto the bed and left for a moment.   
When he came back he was holding a plate of cookies, Bucky's favorites from when they were kids.   
"I hope you still like them." Steve smiled, handing the plate over.   
Bucky returned the sentiment and reached for one.   
"But first…" Steve said. "We have to change you."   
Bucky set down the plate and lay back on the bed. He pretended not to notice when Steve pulled on his own shirt in an attempt to hide his crotch as he pulled a dry diaper from the box.


	38. Trip pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky enjoy vacation.

"So you were into it from the get go?" Sam asked as they walked into the sea.   
"I guess. I never thought about it. But yeah, watching him like that, it was -" he shivered. "I don't know if there's anything he could do that I wouldn't get off on to be honest."   
Bucky and Steve exchanged glances.   
They spent the rest of the day swimming and lying in the sun talking.  
Someone came to the house and cooked them dinner that night.  
Much later Sam lay asleep in bed with Bucky beside him. Steve was still up reading.   
Bucky got up and wandered out into the living room where Steve sat on the couch.   
Steve looked up from his book for a moment.   
"Hey pal. What's up?"   
"Come to bed?" Bucky whined.   
"In a bit. I'm nearly finished."   
Bucky flopped himself on the couch resting his head on Steve's legs.   
Steve folded his book over and held it in one hand, letting his other hand fall to stroke Bucky's hair.   
"You read a lot Steve Rogers. "   
"Well, when you're out of commission for 90 years you miss out on a lot. Besides, I rarely have free time to read these days."   
He returned his attention to the remaining few pages.   
Bucky listened to the waves crashing against the shore in the distance. The patio doors were open letting in a gentle salt air breeze.   
The drinks Bucky had consumed at dinner were starting to rest heavily in his bladder. He wiggled his foot that dangled off the couch shaking his whole body.   
"Would you be still buck?"   
Bucky stopped his movement to appease Steve. But then he began whimpering a little. It was subtle at first. Barely audible even.   
"Bucky." Steve said sternly, not putting up with his little ploy to get attention.   
Bucky stopped with a loud sigh.   
Steve brought his hand up to the book to turn the page, returning it immediately to play with Bucky's hair.   
He didn't mean to be short with Bucky, in fact he liked this little game. But Bucky did occasionally need to be reminded that Steve won't always just drop everything to pay attention to him. Even though Steve would do exactly that, Sam had reminded him a few times that boundaries were healthy and necessary.   
Bucky stayed still and quiet for several minutes, feeling his need growing stronger by the second. The sound of water outside wasn't helping either.   
Bucky let out a whine, drawing Steve's attention away from his book.   
"What's the matter Buck?"  
"I gotta go steve." Bucky whined.   
"You can go if you want." Steve looked back at the book.   
Bucky wasn't satisfied with that answer.  
"I can't make it." Bucky nuzzled his face into Steve's leg.   
Steve smiled. "You tease." He whispered finally giving in to Bucky's game.   
"Do you need me to carry you?"   
Bucky looked up at him with big eyes and nodded innocently.   
Steve stood and hoisted Bucky up. Bucky wrapped himself around Steve. It had to look pretty funny, two men as large as them making their way through a dimly lit house to the bathroom while wrapped around each other.   
The front of Bucky's diaper was pushed against Steve's belly and he could feel a slight squish.   
"Bucky… did you already leak?" Steve asked.   
Bucky hid his face in Steve's neck.   
"Maybe."   
Steve chuckled into his ear.   
"Guess we better get you there quick or you won't make it."  
Steve's voice made Bucky wiggle.   
Steve took his time, moving slowly across the large room.   
"Steve. Hurry." Bucky whined against Steve, tightening his legs.   
Steve smiled wickedly. "I'm going as fast as I can."   
"Bullshit." Bucky pulled his head back to look at Steve. "Fucking liar." He laughed as he saw Steve's smile.   
They were almost to the bathroom when Steve tumbled into the wall accidentally on purpose. The force of Bucky's back being thrown against the wall made him lose control.   
He let out a jagged "oof" as his body collided with wood.   
He stopped the leak that had started but Steve was pressing in tighter against Bucky.   
"Uh-oh." Steve whispered. "Looks like we weren't fast enough."   
"I… I can make it." Bucky protested, wiggling against Steve.   
But Steve was relentless and he pressed himself closer to Bucky, leaving no space for movement.   
Bucky let out a whine as he struggled to clench his muscles. But his legs were around Steve's waist, forced open by his hips.   
"Its okay." Steve whispered as he kissed Bucky's jaw. "I know you tried."   
"I… I can… hnnng."   
Once more Steve pressed his whole body hard against Bucky and that was it.   
"Steve." Bucky whined kissing Steve's neck. "I can't stop it. I - I'm … I have to go so bad."   
"Shh. Let it all out Buck."   
Bucky had come to learn how much it drove Steve crazy to hear Bucky's little helpless pleas.   
"It's coming out. Oh no." He whispered.   
And with that Steve felt the swell against his body.


	39. Trip pt. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teasing goes terribly wrong.

Bucky decided one afternoon he was going to tease Steve and Sam a little. They were laying on a blanket on the beach, getting in one last day of sunshine before going home. Bucky was between the two on his belly. He had let himself get quite full and desperate before he started letting on how badly he needed to go.   
It started with shaking is foot. Then fidgeting. Then he would subtly snake a hand down and grab himself. Then he started whining a little. Steve and Sam each huffed out a little laugh.   
"Bucky… is there something you need to tell us?" Steve questioned.   
Bucky hid his face in his arms.   
"Bucky. Stevie asked you a question." Sam spoke up.   
"Maybe…" he quietly said into his hands.   
"Maybe what?" Sam spoke again.   
"Maybe I need to… to go…" Bucky picked his head up.   
Sam cleared his throat.   
"Sir." Steve and Sam smiled at each other.   
See the thing was. This was all fun but Bucky had forgotten he wasn't wearing a diaper today. He got so used to having one on he didn't even think about the lack of padding today.   
"Well bud. You wanted to be a tease, but now it looks like it's too late. Your only option is to go here."   
Bucky whined again putting his head down.   
Sam was right about that. Bucky couldn't stand without it gushing out. He decided to let out a small leak. His padding would protect him. But when he started leaking he realized he wasn't in a diaper.   
"Oh shit." He moved to push himself up.   
"Na-ah." Steve stopped him.   
"No. I'm not wearing a diaper today. I forgot." Bucky defended.   
"Dont care." Steve pulled his elbow back down. "Consequences for being a tease."   
Bucky couldn't hold it, truly, and it started pouring out of him. It soaked quickly into the towel forming a large wet spot around him.   
He let out a sigh then a moan


	40. Pete and Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little side story of Peter and Tony <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone wanted more of this, I am deeply sorry it took me so long to get it out there.

Tony had come to think of himself as a pseudo father to Peter. He would never admit that, of course, but taking care of Peter had become a priority to him. Frankly, it was something he was extremely proud of. He could always tell when Peter was in distress, something that proved very useful for bringing Peter along on missions. As much as it was Tony's responsibility to keep Peter safe while under his watch, it was also important for him to allow Peter to figure things out on his own. Giving the kid his own autonomy was imperative to his future. Peter had to learn to trust his instincts and let Tony know when he needed help.   
Tony never expected this lesson to become a reality in the way that it did, but one day they were working in Tony's lab and Peter failed to alert Tony to the fact that he was in dire need. It wasn't any mortal physical danger Peter was in. No. He simply needed the bathroom. But Tony had resolved to stop treating Peter like a little boy. Big mistake on his part as he quickly learned.   
Peter was so engulfed in what he was doing that he ignored his own bodily needs. Tony noticed but kept quiet, trusting that Peter would take care of himself.   
He pretended not to notice every time Peter squirmed in his seat. He tried to ignore the seemingly involuntary barely audible noises coming from Peter's throat. And when the kid finally asked he didn't even look up from his work.   
But that all changed when he heard that awful sound come from Peter. He broke his facade and asked if Peter was okay. He was not.   
Tony had looked up as Peter was falling to his knees. A puddle was forming beneath him and tears gathered in Peter's eyes.   
"I'm sorry Mr. Stark. I - I thought I could make it. I'm sorry."   
Tony was frustrated but he couldn't stay mad at Peter. He offered his sympathy to the kid and allowed him privacy to clean up. He didn't want to treat Peter like a baby but obviously that's what Peter needed.   
The next time Peter showed up at the lab Tony had some diapers waiting for him. Tony got off on it. The power, the parental aspect. It wasn't like a fetish or anything there was never sex attached to it. But tony felt something whenever he had to discipline Peter for not paying attention to himself and losing control.   
The first time he wet the diaper Tony laid out some ground rules.   
Peter was supposed to be learning to listen to his body. These weren't meant for minor situations where Peter just didn't feel like getting up. They were an absolute last resort. Tony would punish Peter for using the diapers and it was worse punishment if Tony could tell it wasn't an emergency, and he could always tell.   
But the first time he wet the diaper there was none of that. Peter had come out in just his diaper and t-shirt. They started on their work for the day and for the first few hours it was relatively uneventful. But quickly Peter became desperate. He crossed and uncrossed his legs several times as he tinkered with some machine. Tony cleared his throat but Peter paid him no attention.   
After another hour Tony became concerned.   
"Pete!" He finally said loudly from across the room.   
The sudden noise made Peter jump causing a little leak to escape him.   
"Oh. Shit." He whispered realizing what was wrong.   
He jumped out of the chair and started to run toward the bathroom. He could see the toilet through the open door. Taunting him. He was nearly there when he lost control. Tony had moved toward him to try and help if he could. But it wasn't enough. Peter stopped in his tracks but Tony encouraged him forward with a hand on his back. With every step more urine forced its way out. Tony pushed him faster to the front of the toilet. It was no use. The diaper was already soaked and Peter was flooding furiously by the time they got there.   
"Finish in the toilet kid."   
"I… I can't. I can't stop it."   
"Peter…"   
"Mr. Stark I'm sorry. I really can't stop it. I had to go too bad."   
Tony dropped his hand to feel the padding. The back of the diaper was already drenched.   
"It's not going to hold it all, Pete."   
Peter looked pleadingly at Tony.   
Tony flipped up the toilet lid and looked seriously at peter. "You'll just have to aim well kid."   
Peter sighed and reached into the sodden padding. He tried to pinch off the stream but couldn't. He braced himself then pulled down the front of the diaper. His stream was still in full force and a little splashed onto the ground and on the toilet bowl before he could aim properly. He continued peeing in the toilet for another 30 seconds forcefully until it slowed to a dribble.


	41. Everybody pees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone shares embarrassing pee stories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally just wanted to imagine everyone in a desperate scenario.

Everyone was sitting around the table at HQ talking about missions. Somehow the most embarrassing pee stories came up and it was in full force. Bucky shifted uncomfortably at the thought. Surely someone knew and was trying to out him.   
Bruce was speaking with his shy smile. "You have no idea guys. The big guy still has bodily functions like humans, its weird. Like when I went away for a little while, you know, by the time I landed that plane I was pretty desperate."   
"Well what happened?" Peter inquired.   
"Well I stepped out into the grass, it was the middle of nowhere, I just let loose there."   
With that big of a body Bucky imagined it was like a river.   
"So tell us. Does everything grow?" Tony waggled his eyebrows.   
Bruce blushed pink and Nat folded her lips over her front teeth barely nodding.   
"My god I'm surprised you didn't flood the oceans by that measure." Tony sipped his drink.   
"Trust me, I could have. Have you ever read Gulliver's Travels?"   
No one else had so his follow up would have been pointless.   
"Well we can't all have filtration systems in our suits." Clint said tipping back a beer.   
Tony held his drink to a cheers before taking more of it in his mouth.   
"So you can just… go whenever?" Bucky inquired of Tony.   
"Yep. Pretty much. It's come in handy on long missions. Unfortunately for Cap, his skin tight suit doesn't allow for such a luxury. Isn't that right?"   
Bucky looked at Steve inquisitively. He had never heard this story before.   
Steve sighed. "Guess we're going there."   
"Oh yes we are. It was, what, our third mission together? Now I told Mr. Perfect over here to cool it with the water, but you know, hydration is important." He said in his best mock cap voice. "So we get to the place and he's moving all around. I'm thinking what the hell is wrong with this guy? We're supposed to be covert here. So finally I said 'would you stop' and he did for a minute but then started back up. By now I'm like this guys scared, great. So we watch for a while like we're supposed to. I try to ignore antsy pants. We collect all the info and we're out. Outside the compound he stops and is like 'keep going, I'll catch up.' So I turn back around and he's sweating I mean, just buckets. I asked what was wrong and he just kept saying go on. I wasn't about to have Fury up my ass for leaving him behind so I double back, ask if he's hurt. He's all 'no I'm fine blah blah.' We keep going around til finally he admits he needs to visit the little boy's room. We are in the middle of goddamn nowhere, there weren't even trees. So I stand guard to one side, back turned for privacy. He plants the shield in the snow on his front and starts pulling off the suit. Which should be 2 pieces by the way. After listening to him struggle forever I finally hear the patter of liquid on snow and the gentle moan of a relieved man."   
Everyone has a laugh.   
"Looks like you aren't the only one to get caught up in a mission Clint." Nat says smiling at him.   
He tries to stop her but the others egg her on.   
"Well we were up in one of the lookout towers, regular patrol. When all of the sudden this guy just goes. 'I'm sorry Nat but this can't wait any longer. Before I could say anything he just unzipped and started peeing over the side of the tower."   
"Well now, I seem to remember a story of a certain young girl having a Similar issue."   
"That's not fair. I was a child."   
Clint shrugged. Bucky actually knew this story.   
Nat was training with Bucky at this time. They didn't give the girls regular bathroom breaks. He had seen her ask many times and get denied. She was finally up to show what she'd learned. Bucky engaged with her and felt a dampness on her tights. He thought it just sweat but after a few minutes of fighting she dropped to her knees and he watched as a puddle formed beneath her. He wanted to comfort her in that moment but he knew better. The other instructors wouldn't have it. He'd seen this happen many times before.   
"Well what about you? Bucky with the good hair." Tony teased.   
Bucky was going to play along, keep it cool.  
"Well as a sniper you know you've got to be still for a long time. Sometimes it would take a little too long waiting on a target and, nature calls. Usually it was easy to just roll to one side, unzip, and go. But one time just as I was about to do that the target came into my sights. I had a job to do, so I did it. Unfortunately, my body also had a job to do. I made the shot, clean too. But my pants were another thing entirely. I was able to roll over and unzip after I made the shot but by that point the process had already started."   
Steve patted Bucky on the shoulder.   
"I'll bet Sam's got a story or two."   
"Nah." Sam laughed. "Not me. But Riley… my partner - I remember we were on a training mission and he radioed in to ask permission to stop. We were off the grid and our commander denied the request. I told him to just unzip and that's exactly what he did. Just mid flight he undid his pants and let loose. It was probably the funniest thing I'd ever seen."


	42. A Birthday Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve celebrate Tony's birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is nearly no omo or desperation in this, at least not that type of desperation ;)

After returning home from vacation without any incident Sam, Steve, and Bucky were feeling quite good. Bucky had made it a point to actively practice some of the things he had discussed with his therapist and they really seemed to be working. Tony's birthday was coming up and there was going to be a party at HQ. While Sam would have *loved* to have gone, he actually had something he had to do. He reminded Steve and Bucky at their protests that he did have a life before and outside of their little supergroup. That included friends from his time in the military.   
So while Sam was heading out to visit an old friend Steve and Bucky prepared for an evening of shenanigans no doubt. Bucky was in an unusual mood and couldn't keep his hands off Steve as they dressed.   
Steve smiled, returning Bucky's advances with deep kisses.   
"Can't we be late?" Bucky whispered in Steve's ear. His tongue probed the ear as his hand groped Steve's Crotch.   
Steve's knees buckled but he pushed Bucky an arms length away. "It kills me to say this but it's right down stairs. Someone will come looking for us if we're even a minute late."  
“Fine Steve, make me wait for it. But you’re gonna get it good tonight.” Bucky said walking past him and planting a slap on his ass.   
Steve smiled and ran a hand over his hair, trying to smooth himself and look less flustered. He took Bucky’s hand and they made their way to the large room where the party was. Everyone was there. People from Stark industries that Steve had never met, friends of Tony and Pepper, and of course, all the Avengers. That’s what they all were now anyway, even if they weren’t the original six, anyone who had been found out by Fury was now an Avenger. Nat and Bruce were at the bar talking with Clint and his wife. Scott and Hope were seated next to Thor and Valkyrie. Loki looked out over the balcony with Wanda and Vision just inside the door. Rhodi made conversation with Strange. Peter popped suddenly into Steve’s view.   
“Hey guys! How’s it going?”   
“Hey Pete, good to see ya.” Steve smiled at Peter in his suit. “Looking sharp man.”   
“Ah thanks.” He waved. “Aunt May insisted.” He gestured to Aunt May who was flirtily sharing a drink with Happy. “Anyway, the party’s going pretty well. Mr. Stark should be coming out any minute now.”   
Off to the side Steve could hear Shuri talking with T’Challa. “This bitch empty.”   
Peter turned immediately to her and yelled “Yeet!”   
They both cracked up and Steve turned to greet T’Challa. “Shuri, have you met Peter?” They shook hands and Peter started in. “I like your accent where you from?”   
T’Challa and Steve pulled away from the two pop culture savvy newly discovered best friends and made small talk. When Bucky returned with some champagne for him and Steve -- T’Challa had declined -- Tony finally made his appearance. Everyone clapped and waited for the annual speech.   
“Thank you. Yeah. I didn’t think I’d make it another year to be honest. Wow. It feels good to be here. You know? And honestly if it weren’t for all of you, I probably wouldn’t be here.” He raised his cup and everyone else echoed the movement. "But mostly, I owe it all to a very special woman. My beautiful wife, Miss Pepper Potts -- Stark, sorry, force of habit. And this year she decided to give me the most wonderful present, an addition to our lives."   
Pepper emerged from the curtain to applause with her swollen belly adorned in a maternity dress. Everyone cheered and the party officially began. Peter spent the night with Shuri quoting vines and TikToks and sharing meme’s from their phones. Steve and Bucky made their way around to speak with everyone. They were five glasses of champagne deep when Bucky asked Steve to accompany him to the restroom to stand watch. Steve knew Bucky sometimes got bathroom shy and agreed. What he didn’t know was Bucky’s plan was to get Steve in the room with him.   
Bucky shoved Steve into the room and locked the door behind him. “Thanks for coming with me.” Bucky unzipped and stepped up to the toilet. “I don’t think I could have held it much longer.” The sound of trickling water and the way Bucky was talking caused a stir in Steve’s pants. Once Bucky was finished he approached Steve. “Can’t I give you a little taste of what’s to come?” He smiled wickedly. Steve felt Bucky’s body against him, his metal hand on Steve’s throat. Steve breathed deep and easy as Bucky let his hand wander. They were interrupted by a knock on the door and quickly left the room.  
The party was pretty uneventful and as the night wound down Steve decided it was time for him and Bucky to slip away. He said goodnight and left as the party continued. The sounds down below were muffled in Steve’s room and once the door was locked Bucky was on him. Luckily the bass was still thumping downstairs so no one could hear when Bucky threw Steve against the dresser. They kissed hard, tongues fighting against each other. Steve ripped Bucky's shirt sending buttons scattering across the floor. Bucky pulled back for a moment allowing Steve to take in the view. Then Bucky's hand went to Steve's collarbone and he pressed hard. He panted against Steve's neck letting his tongue explore the skin. In a swift motion Bucky reached a finger under Steve's collar and forced it down the seam opening the buttons. They each let their buttoned shirts fall to the ground. Standing there in just their clingy undershirts and Jeans they looked each other over once more. This time Steve made a move toward Bucky. He pushed him back about five steps into the wall. Neither one noticed when the drywall caved a bit under the force.   
Steve knelt in front of Bucky and unbuttoned his pants. He took Bucky into his mouth and started sucking vigorously. Bucky let out a loud moan that reverberated through the room. Steve stopped his sucking to kiss Bucky's thigh and then bit down on the fleshy part. His grip was tight on Bucky's waist, digging his fingers into the small of his back. Steve stood suddenly and unzipped his own pants. He hoisted Bucky up, resting his thighs on Steve's hips. Steve positioned himself correctly and slid into Bucky. Bucky let out a cry slamming his head back against the wall. He took Steve's thrusting for several minutes, pulling at Steve's hair. Steve reached for Bucky's shirt.   
"Off." He said breathlessly. "I want it off."   
Bucky used both hands to tear the thin fabric in half. Steve stopped for a moment to look at Bucky. Like really look at him.   
"Christ that was hot."   
Bucky smiled and exploited Steve's pause. He separated himself from Steve and planted his feet on the ground before pushing Steve to the floor. Steve landed on his back and Bucky knelt between his legs pulling off the pants to his ankles.  
"Now you." Bucky growled. And Steve ripped his shirt in the same fashion. This time Bucky slipped inside Steve.   
Steve scratched lines down Bucky's back and chest. After a few more thrusts Bucky pulled out and flipped Steve over onto his hands and knees giving him a wider range of motion. He thrust back in violently. Bucky reached around and started pulling Steve off. They were both nearing orgasm. Bucky stifled a moan by sinking his teeth in Steve's shoulder. His metal hand was gripping anything it could. Steve's side, his hip, his shoulder, then his throat.   
They came at nearly the same time giving into the sound sitting in their throats just waiting to escape.   
Dizzily they flopped onto the floor and curled into one another.   
Steve awoke the next morning to the dim light that filtered in through the shaded window. They were still on the floor completely naked. He pulled on some pants and a robe and ventured to the kitchen to get breakfast hopefully before everyone else woke up. He left the light off so as not to wake Bucky so he couldn't examine how bad the bruises were from the night before. He didn't even think to smooth his hair down. He carefully snuck into the kitchen to make some coffee and pour a bowl of cereal. It was quiet, no one was up yet, or so Steve thought. 

The first thing Nat saw was Steve rounding the corner. His eyes were down so he didn't notice the group sitting at the table. Most of them were hung over so the sound was being kept minimal. His silhouette looked disheveled, hair sticking out, untied robe hanging loosely on his shoulders. Once he was in the light he looked up and was greeted with the startling view of his teammates staring wide eyed at him.   
The bruises and bite marks had started to turn purple already.   
Tony blinked several times and rubbed his eyes to make sure he was not in fact hallucinating. To make matters worse Bucky chose that moment to enter the kitchen and not realizing everyone was awake, slapped Steve on the ass with a playful "mornin' sexy."   
Steve looked over Bucky with scratches and hand prints all over his uncovered torso. He had the luxury of tying his hair back to at least make it look a little less messy.   
Sam entered the door down the hall and announced his arrival with a loud "anybody home?"   
He took one look at Steve and Bucky and assumed the worst.   
"What happened? Was there a fight?" But upon closer examination of the scratches on Bucky's back and, lifting Steve's chin to see the bruising around his neck he came to the slow realization. He dropped the subject but it was too late. Laughing and cheers erupted from the table.  
Tony stood from the table and sauntered across the kitchen floor. "Well, well Cap. You celebrated my birthday better than I did." He patted Steve on the chest before exiting the kitchen. On his way out Tony glanced over Bucky assessing the damage Steve had done and raising his eyebrows as he stuck a piece of bacon in his mouth.   
The others returned their attention to breakfast and Steve quickly grabbed his coffee and left.


	43. Goodbye for now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam needs some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do we like in control Bucky? I feel a little more comfy having him and Steve healthy and in control. Don't worry we aren't saying goodbye to sub!Bucky, but he's taking a break

They'd been back at the apartment for a few weeks and Sam had been acting different. He seemed more withdrawn, less social. Finally when Bucky was asleep one evening Steve decided to confront him.   
Sam sighed. "You know that friend I went to see?"   
"Yeah…"   
"He was friends with me and Riley. I guess seeing him brought back a lot of memories."   
"Well what do you need us to do? To help you work through it."   
"I don't know Steve. We're coming up on the anniversary, I think I'm missing a bit of what we had."   
Steve nodded feeling his stomach sink a little.   
Sam must have noticed Steve's face because he immediately backtracked.   
"No, it's not like that. I love you and Bucky. I do. But sometimes seeing you two makes me remember him. Having history with someone, the inside jokes, the memories you share…"   
Steve understood. He put his hands on Sam's shoulders and looked deep in his eyes. "I get it. So what do you want to do?"   
"I don't know. I think I just need some time, space. You know? Maybe I'll go back to my place for a little while. I mean I'll still come around, I just need to take care of me and figure out what I need."   
"Yeah. Of course, Sam. Take all the time you need."   
Sam nodded. "I should probably stay til morning to tell him?"   
Steve shook his head. "I can fill him in if you'd feel better heading out tonight."   
Sam hugged Steve and thanked him for understanding. He kissed Bucky on the forehead before grabbing his bag and heading back to his apartment. Despite all the time he spent at Steve's he still kept his own place in case he ever needed to go back to it.   
Steve wandered to bed a short time later.   
Several hours after he fell asleep, in the dim light of dawn, Steve's body began twisting and retching.   
He hadn't had a nightmare in a long time, he remembered only a few when Sam started staying with him and there had been none since Bucky came home.   
Bucky felt the violent movement and woke suddenly. He saw Steve in the shadows turning about, moaning pitifully. Bucky simply reached out for Steve and drew him in close. He enveloped the wiggling man in his arms and whispered in his ear.   
"Steve. Hey. Wake up. You're having a dream. Shhh. It's me. It's Bucky."   
Steve woke with a start. He turned suddenly and seeing Bucky's face outline haloed by the light creeping in through the cracks in the shades he began to cry.  
"Bucky. Oh buck."  
"Shh. Steve? Hey." Bucky pulled back his head to look at Steve.   
"Don't leave again okay?"   
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. Til the end of the line."   
Steve eventually calmed and had resolved to laying on top of Bucky chatting about this and that. They'd talked about Sam and Bucky was understanding.   
Finally Bucky moved to try and get up. Steve groaned and lay his full weight on Bucky.   
"C'mon steve. I gotta get up."  
"Mmmm… but I'm comfy."   
Bucky gave up and flopped back. "Steve really, I've had to piss for a few hours."   
"Don't wanna get up. You're warm. Just go here."   
Bucky really wasn't a fan of consciously wetting himself. When he was in subspace or having a nightmare or dealing with anxiety it was fine. But he had just been the one comforting Steve and it didn't feel right.   
"No, Steve. I… I don't…"   
But then he looked at Steve with his pleading eyes and naughty smirk and realized what was happening.   
"Steve Rogers. You pervert." He wrapped his arms around Steve.   
"Only for you Buck. Only for you."   
"Maybe this time I'll have to punish you for misbehaving."   
"The bruises have just barely healed from Tony's party." Steve reminded him.   
Bucky laughed but realized that was a mistake. His movement caused Steve to bounce on his bladder. He sucked in a deep breath through his teeth. Fighting back the pain he felt from the fullness.   
"Okay?" Steve looked at Bucky's contorted face.   
Bucky nodded. "Just. Really. Gotta…" he struggled with his composure.   
Steve put his head back on Bucky's chest. He let his tongue explore Bucky's collarbone for a bit before kissing his neck. Bucky shivered.   
"You make me really hard Bucky. When you talk like that…" Steve trailed off.   
"You're such a tease." Bucky ground his hips up against Steve's.   
"Mmm. Are you sure you can hold it with all that pressure?"   
"I'm sure I can't." Bucky growled. "It's gonna happen Steve." Bucky was feeling bold. "I've had to go all night. I'm gonna flood this diaper."  
Steve pressed back down against Bucky. "Please do."


End file.
